how do you bounce back from this?

[stormgurl10]

well we know me and my fiance broke up.i left him on our 6 mnths. and it turns out everything was a lie anyway. for instance:

 

1.he was talking to his ex while we were still together.

2.he told his friend a month before we broke up he stoped caring.

3.he was emotionaly and physicaly abusive.

4.turns out he gets engaged to all his gfs.

5.he actually had sex with people he swore he didnt

6.the build a bear he said he made me for vday , his friend made

7.oh yeah. the engagement ring was his exs

8.he was telling people im loose and hes the only guy ive slept with. i got in a wreck..and he still was telling me he thinks that.

9. he constantly says he hates me and doesnt care at all yet "still loves me"

10. when we broke up once before that night he went out with another girl, and then dated me again the next day.

 

 

i just found all this out. and more. i dont understand why some people r so cruel. when i gave this person everything. how does one bounce back?

[petite]

You try and focus on yourself and realize they don't deserve you and you can do so much better and will find someone who will not hurt you.

It's hard, it hurts, but we have all been there and all you can do is push yourself to try and get over the past, concentrate on the future.

 

If I have learned anything in the last few months is that no matter how much you love someone, they don't always love you and don't have to. People leave sometimes with good reasons, sometimes the smallest thing sets them off, and at times people hurt us like we could never imagine, but life isn't meant to be easy and this is just another transition and a bump on the road to finding that person who will not hurt you in such ways.

 

Don't look to find anything anymore, because it just sets you back and hurts even more. Best thing you can do fr yourself is trying to move on and healing from all that has happened.

[HouseKitten]

Good god. Woman, read that list over again and then ask yourself - 'why on earth did I ever think this jerk deserved my love and attention?'

 

I know it hurts to discover memories you had of good times were actually tainted by things like infidelity and lies. But at the end of the day, you left him without knowing all that stuff, and knowing it now just vindicates the choice you made - he's a scumbag and any girl deserves better.

 

And to answer why people behave that way - well, because other people let them. Look at your relationship - you were still together and got engaged, despite there obviously being issues. He got away with a lot, both things you did and didn't know about. It sounds like he does it to other women. So long as girls keep hanging around him, thinking he'll change his ways, he'll keep doing exactly what he wants.

 

It's a learning experience - now you have a better idea of what sort of man to watch out for.

[stormgurl10]

i know. i havent even cried because i guess none of it surpises me. i knew he was a liar. but now that i think about it, i would of been happy if i loved him. and obviously he gave me many reasons why i never really loved him. next time im goin with gut instinct

[Starbourne]

Sounds exactly like a guy I used to know. Mind if i ask your ex's name?