Need something back, should I contact?

[ZizousamA]

I need my laptop back from my ex. It's day 4 after breakup and no contact. Of course, I think about her all the time and I fear that I might relapse if we made contact, but I do need that laptop back. I gave it to her a few months back and my brother keeps asking for it. I don't have to take all the nagging from my brother for her sake when she deserted me and I was nothing but loving and dedicated. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

[DN]

Ask for the laptop back, make arrangements to pick it up and then go back to no contact.

[ZizousamA]

I think I'll do that even though I'm not sure what I'll do when I hear her voice. I may explode in anger or relapse. However, she doesn't deserve that I go through all this for her. She didn't even have the decency to give it back after she dumped me on messenger using my own laptop.

[ZizousamA]

Man, problem is I'm the kinda guy that loves with strong desire. My love feelings flow like a strong torrent. Despite all, I still didn't manage to stop the flow of the torrent of emotion I have for her. She didn't value it anyhow. All the people around her have been treating her bad with no respect. I'm on the other hand made her a queen.

[epson391]

Man, problem is I'm the kinda guy that loves with strong desire. My love feelings flow like a strong torrent. Despite all, I still didn't manage to stop the flow of the torrent of emotion I have for her. She didn't value it anyhow. All the people around her have been treating her bad with no respect. I'm on the other hand made her a queen.

 

Im the same way, I treated my ex amazingly and all i got was dumped, 3 years down the drain. like the old saying "People hurt the ones they love the most."

[ZizousamA]

Yours and mine will learn one day the real value of what they had. It doesn't matter for us anyway. It's time to look ahead.

[epson391]

One day it will hit them and they may even try to contact us. We have to remember that the ball is in our court then and need to take control.

[Amore]

If you think you'll explode when seeing her again, consider perhaps bringing someone along when you pick it up or having someone around when she drops it off (like your brother). Avoiding a situation we're it's just you two one-on-one is best.

 

I highly recommend making arrangements to get it back ASAP so you can go back to NC and continue the healing process.

 

(Btw, my first boyfriend dumped me online through a messenger as well.. I feel your pain, it sucks horribly.)

[MinziGirl]

Ask for the laptop back, make arrangements to pick it up and then go back to no contact.

 

 

Or better, ask for the laptop back make arrangements with someone whom you can trust (like your brother?) & have him/her get it back for you.

[Sad-in-Sacto]

For what it's worth ... it's been about four days with NC and I also want to get some of my stuff back and I have some of her stuff. I sent her an email simply stating that she needs to pick up her stuff, which I will leave in the front of the house and for her to drop off my stuff at the same time. I told her that I will not be here when she drops off the stuff. I gave her a timeline of when to do this. I haven't heard back. When the timeline runs out, I intend on having a friend drop off her stuff. I can do without mine as those items, unlike a laptop, are not that valuable.

 

I guess what I'm saying is remain strong. If seeing her will bring out a torrent of emotions, avoid it at all cost. Have someone else pick up the computer for you. Good luck.

[ZizousamA]

One day it will hit them and they may even try to contact us. We have to remember that the ball is in our court then and need to take control.

 

They did it once while we did our best to make them happy. They are more capable of doing it again. That's why we can't trust them no longer.

[Starbourne]

I think I'll do that even though I'm not sure what I'll do when I hear her voice. I may explode in anger or relapse. However, she doesn't deserve that I go through all this for her. She didn't even have the decency to give it back after she dumped me on messenger using my own laptop.

 

She dumped you using your own lap top? That's just messed up.

[ZizousamA]

If you think you'll explode when seeing her again, consider perhaps bringing someone along when you pick it up or having someone around when she drops it off (like your brother). Avoiding a situation we're it's just you two one-on-one is best.

 

I highly recommend making arrangements to get it back ASAP so you can go back to NC and continue the healing process.

 

(Btw, my first boyfriend dumped me online through a messenger as well.. I feel your pain, it sucks horribly.)

 

What could make me explode is wanting to know why would someone give up on those who treated them well and supported them. She was the one who came back into my life and told me she loved me and never loved another. She said she'd die without me and that I was the best thing ever happened to her. I made sure I lived up to that claim and made her my number one priority. She said she never turns her back on those she loves. Yet, she turned her back on me. I hope you're over you ex coz it hurts.

 

Or better, ask for the laptop back make arrangements with someone whom you can trust (like your brother?) & have him/her get it back for you.

 

Yeah, I think I'm gonna have my bro pick it up. It's best to not see her.

 

For what it's worth ... it's been about four days with NC and I also want to get some of my stuff back and I have some of her stuff. I sent her an email simply stating that she needs to pick up her stuff, which I will leave in the front of the house and for her to drop off my stuff at the same time. I told her that I will not be here when she drops off the stuff. I gave her a timeline of when to do this. I haven't heard back. When the timeline runs out, I intend on having a friend drop off her stuff. I can do without mine as those items, unlike a laptop, are not that valuable.

 

I guess what I'm saying is remain strong. If seeing her will bring out a torrent of emotions, avoid it at all cost. Have someone else pick up the computer for you. Good luck.

 

Since you can do without your stuff, you've thought of the best idea to have a friend drop off her stuff. Just remain strong.

[ZizousamA]

What kills me is that I'm not a demanding guy. The smallest things make me happy like a simple heartfelt text message, a call to tell me she's thinking of me, or a simple I love you. I never expected anything from her or wanted her to do more than she could. On the other hand, I spent my money on her. Never allowed anything to stop me when it came to her. I never got a thing from her, but she failed to see what I did for her.

[ZizousamA]

She dumped you using your own lap top? That's just messed up.

 

Yeah, using my own laptop. And she didn't even return it or arrange for that. I have given her many things but they were gifts so I sure wouldn't ask them back. The laptop however was until she could get one of her own. I gave it to her and my brother asks me for it almost everyday for months, but I wanted to see her happy.

[DontGetStung]

Never make someone that is not your child, your number one priority.

[ZizousamA]

Yeah I know that as a solid fact now. Thought she was different that she would appreciate it even for a bit. It's not like my goal is to see her appreciative. My goal was to see her happy, but it hurts nonetheless.