Introduced to friends - what to think?

[Clarity]

I've been dating a girl (age 25) for about 3 weeks now that I got in touch with online. We have seen each other 5 times in that span, so it's very early. So far, we seem to enjoy each other's company quite a bit. She's in my city for her studies while I work here full-time.

 

The last girl I dated was not a good experience for me, I fell too soon (3 months) and she ended up hurting me, although I do feel that this was a necessary experience that I learned a lot from. So with this girl, I've been intentionally trying to take it slow. For example we kissed after our 4th date and it was just a kiss, our physical contact has been pretty muted, and that's probably mostly due to my apprehensiveness.

 

I just got back from our 5th date, which was fun. We went out to a seminar together, but when that ended she mentioned that her friends had invited us over to join them at their place. Although I did feel like it was a bit soon for this, it felt awkward to say no, because I didn't want to "reject" her. I did feel that her being comfortable enough to do that might be a good sign, and it was clear from what she had said that she had already talked about me with them. So we went and it was fun - there were two other couples, so it was clearly a couples thing (which made me more comfortable, strangely). It ended fine as well, with another short (but nice) kiss.

 

Now, I know there's know possible way to know what this means, but, like many people on ENA, I enjoy overanalyzing things, so there are a number of things that I think it *could* mean.

 

On the positive side, it's good that she wanted to introduce me at all - it shows a certain level of confidence. However, it's only been three weeks and 5 dates. It makes it seem like she's a girl who dates a lot of guys, but other than this incident, I don't have that impression of her at all. I don't know her well, obviously, but my guess is she's on the conservative side? I guess I'm a little bit afraid of being the "hey, look who I'm dating!" guy, because I feel somewhat like I was that guy with the previous girl I dated. This sounds conceited, but I'm an attractive guy with a good education and career, and I felt like the previous girl I dated (23) was proud to show her friends what she "landed", but when things got more serious, she bailed.

 

This girl doesn't seem that way, and I am certainly a lot more on guard than I was back then, but I guess I would love to get the ladies thoughts (especially those in that age range, mid-twenties) on what your mindset would be if you met a guy online, had 5 good dates with him, and were okay with introducing him to your friends. I guess it's important to note that these are not her close or childhood friends, but her friends from her school program here - the only friends she really has in town, I suppose.

[Gabo]

I'm a guy, but I think if you are freaking out bout meating a girl's friend after 5 dates you have serous commitment issues.

[Clarity]

I'm a guy, but I think if you are freaking out bout meating a girl's friend after 5 dates you have serous commitment issues.

 

I don't know where I gave the impression that I was "freaking out", because it's certainly not the case. Just doing some thinking about it, that's all. Also, I don't really see how it has to do with "commitment" - even talking about that word after 5 dates and 3 weeks sounds pretty silly.

 

I guess I move a little slower than most. I certainly wouldn't introduce a girl to my closest friends until I knew we were a couple, exclusive, bf/gf, etc. - probably only after a few months. Am I alone on that?!

[ghost69]

i'm actually with Gabo on this. it seems you question almost every move a girl makes. a girl introduced you to her friends, she probably wants to see how you interact with others that she knows. if anything, i'd like a new girl to meet my friends asap. i like to see how they gel with my friends. does it mean anything? not really. i just get to see how they act when it's not just me around. if they clam up and can't talk or interact, that is a turnoff though as i'm very outgoing.

 

so what are your ideas on what you think this means?

 

i wouldn't think anything of it to be honest. i've met girl's friends when they were just FWBs and when they ended up being serious. it goes either way and really didn't matter much to me in either situation.

[Green Mile]

I think it's a good sign she feels comfortable enough with to do that after a few weeks, I wouldn't read anything into it!

[Gabo]

I don't know where I gave the impression that I was "freaking out", because it's certainly not the case. Just doing some thinking about it, that's all. Also, I don't really see how it has to do with "commitment" - even talking about that word after 5 dates and 3 weeks sounds pretty silly.

 

I guess I move a little slower than most. I certainly wouldn't introduce a girl to my closest friends until I knew we were a couple, exclusive, bf/gf, etc. - probably only after a few months. Am I alone on that?!

 

I usually introduce dates to my friends WAY before we are exclusive or a "couple". I agree with the previous poster who said it is good way to see how they react to social situations, whether they click with your crowd and whether they could be a part of your life.

 

It would be really strange for me not to introduce someone I was interested in to friends until a couple months down the line.

 

If you substituted "friends" for "parents" or even perhaps "siblings" I could understand your position more. But even here, my personal opinion is that people are just too high strung and it shouldn't be as big of a deal as people make it.

[Clarity]

I guess I can see both sides of it. I am somewhat afraid of being "that guy" who brings a new girl to introduce to my friends every time and they roll their eyes and wonder how long she will be around... you know?