I cant get over my ex after a really long time

[mr me]

I know that all of the crazy things im going thru that its not helping. It just really bugs me because I have had a hard enough time trying to find anyone that i could get along with easily because of how different I am. I had that person with her but i know how messed up she is for me and was to me. Its just all my issues seem to complicate my other issues and just make it one thing after another.

 

I havent done anything to make this harder on myself like keeping in contact with her or anything. Ive been trying to see if I could just focus on myself but my life is too painful right now so all im doing is staying afloat. I dont feel like im doing anything that I shouldnt be doing. I just fall into this all the time when Im doing everything I can do right and bad things still happen to me. Or not enough good things happen to me to balance out all the really messed up things. Also plz dont tell me to be more positive or that if i am things will be better because its not magic. Good or bad things will happen to you regardless of what your thinking. Its just the way you see things is usually what determines what happens more often then not. I cant be in a miserable situation and be happy or I would be crazy. I am probably close to actually being crazy but so far i havent completely lost it.

 

I know my family has had issues with not being able to get over their first love so I know its not going to be easy. Im not as obsessed as I was but i still see myself doing things like that. I just wish this wasnt so damn important to me but it is and I dont think thats a good thing. I guess this makes my statement of not doing anything bad wrong but I dont know. Its just I really dont know what else I could be doing different or better right now. Its like im supposed to feel better because Im talking about this which i never would before but I dont remember the last time I actually felt good and it lasted. I guess it was more then a week ago but only have 1 good day out of like 10 is a pretty horrible feeling. I also dont have medium days in between so its either really bad or ok. All i want to see is some type of progress but with the way things are right now all i feel is really so bad I dont even want to think about it.

[bear12]

how long has it been since your break up?

[lambmonster]

I think I understand how you feel. I have days where I literally stay in pajamas all day and it takes a lot of effort, more than it should, to just get through the day. A breakup can consume you, invades every second of your day and you can't escape.

 

Its like im supposed to feel better because Im talking about this which i never would before but I dont remember the last time I actually felt good and it lasted.

 

Everyone says talking helps and eases the pain, that getting your feelings out will help you understand them better. In a sense, I think this does work but sometimes it can just make everything seem more "real" and bring more pain. But I do think this is a good thing and good on you for talking about it now.

 

I also understand what you mean about not remembering when the last time you felt good was. It seems everything is either pre-break up or post-breakup. There's nothing else.

 

But look, I don't know what you're looking for. But if you're looking for a way to get through the day easier, just keep in mind that however you feel - the clock keeps on ticking and the days just keep coming. You have to dig deep and push through.

 

My ex broke up with me two months ago and I did the silly thing by keeping in contact with him and even maintained a FWB type situation til only 3 weeks or so ago. It's hard but I realise I have to move on and to do this, I need to be strong for me and realise moping and being sad is not getting me anywhere close to being over him.

 

You can do this. You need to focus, realise that your situation now may REALLY suck, but it's what life has dealt to you and you have to make do with what you got. Push through and wait for better days.

 

Best of luck.

[mr me]

I really think its better i dont respond because right now I cant think of anything that would make sense. Im just writing this because before i wouldnt respond and people take it all types of ways.

[restingpieces]

I don't know your financial/insurance situation but if you go through the United Way, they will help you find affordable therapy. Group therapy is even free.

 

Talking to someone really helps.