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am I desperate?


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I finished a 2 year relationshipp in September. I have been watching everybody around me having babies and getting married. I felt jealous of those looking happy. The thing is I want a quality long term relationship so much My not understanding ex said I was desperate. I am not acting desperate, not dating anybody below my standards, do not walk around hitting on men or wearing provocative clothes, but I DO want a healthy, happy, long-term reltionship I really likes the idea of having a prospective life partner. I also do not walk around telling everybody how keen I am on having boyfriend. Maybe I am on and on about that too much, but can not help it. I am not after marriage but life partner that would be undersatnding, caring etc. Is there anything wrong with that? do you guy have it similar?


I have enough on my plate now to occupy myself so do not need a guy to occupy myself with something, but more for more healthy purposes


PS. I am 28

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You certainly don't sound desperate to me. What you want is completely normal and reasonable and there's nothing wrong with it.


I don't know if it will make you feel better, but try looking at your situation from another angle. A lot of people you know that are married with babies might have settled for someone that doesn't make them happy because they WERE desperate to be married with babies. I know a lot of girls I went to high school with that married their high school boyfriends and had two or three children. Many times as they got older the relationships failed and now they are very unhappy but don't want to leave because of their children.


It can be very frustrating to feel like you will never meet someone that you can be in a long term relationship with (I can definitely relate), but it's also nice to look at the flip side and realize that you still have the chance to meet that great person and are not tied down in an unhappy marriage. I have very little dating experience and it makes me feel like crap about myself, but I'm thankful every day that I didn't just go find the first guy who would pay attention to me and marry him. You have your whole life, and you'll meet somebody who's right for you someday I'm sure.

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That is not being desperate. You want what almost every woman wants. There is nothing wrong with that at all. I know how you feel. Everyone around me has babies and marriage..and they seem soooo happy. But, you never know what they are thinking. I know it sounds cliche, but your time will come. You know what you want, and taking your time will only guarantee that you will get what you want. =]

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You seem to be using goodjudgment. Just be yourself, you say you have lots to occupy yourself with, and that sounds healthy. Whatever you do, don't marry just for the sake of it, or because everyone else (you think) is married. Appearances can be so so deceptive, believe me. 28 is young, you have time. Just keep the "keenness" under wraps. No hearts on sleeves LOL.


All the best


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  • 4 weeks later...

Just to update you guys I am going to take the brave step of stopping being inferior to my parents, that is confronting them, which is scary and will invoke negative behaviour towards me, but I want certain things so badly that started thinking what is the obstacle and figured out it is their behaviour, or maybe my behaviour shaped by them. Basta! enough is enough. How can I find a soulmate when I act like an inferior child, probably unable to commit to the relationship fully. At least I know the guy I will end up with will be a very strong character, if I manage to face family and risk getting into serious trouble with them. A very strong guy indeed to match me.

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