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I post in both this forum and the getting back together forum because while I want to reconcile, I need to heal at the same time.


I keep getting waves of anxiety. One minute I’m fine, the next I’m upset and nervous. I’ve been apart from my ex for 6 months now. The feelings used to occur more frequently and with a lot more force, but I still get them about once a day. It’s a sense of despair and a fear of the unknown. I ask myself why and how did this happen. This can’t be real. This isn’t how I envisioned my future.


I still check my phone and email hoping to hear something positive from her. While there has been a gradual increase in contact between us, I’m still clueless as to where it will lead. I want to be able to completely let go of the past emotions so something new can blossom, if not with her then with someone new. Sure, the contact probably isn’t helping me with my emotional state. But maybe it is helping me grow stronger as an individual and fostering the feelings between us.


I just wish I could not worry so much about the unknown.

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Are you in a place where you feel like "letting go" will make you forget the love you feel for her? Because it won't. It is very possible to move on and harbor a great love for someone; true love will never disappear. Instead of focusing on emotions surrounding the relationship or what it was like when you were in it, focus on the emotions you have now and put the others in the back of your mind. Be concerned with the emotions that make you passionate about your work and interests. Just get better for you... if she re-enters your life, you'll know if it was real because the instant you two make eye contact, it will all come back.


Also, my therapist is having me do the 'stop thought' treatment (it's working; feel free to google it) to control these aforementioned waves of anxiety and cease contact if you feel its keeping you from getting there.

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