a little advice

[Kane0828]

I have been dating my current gf for 5 months. We live together, i work, she is in school. We have seem to hit a lull so to speak in our relationship, I have strong thoughts she is cheating on me with either her Ex's, or someone else. I am constantly thinking about her, however, dont feel she is thinking of me. She recently has been distant in our conversations, however the physical part is still in tact so to speak.

 

I am the nice guy, I really want to spend the rest of my life with her, however, I want to be able to relax and not have to guess her mood or if we are going to truly workout.

[mousey789]

Wooow, 5 months and you're already hitting a lull in your relationship, AND living together? Sounds like you need to really reevaluate this relationship and talk to your girlfriend about how you're feeling right now.

[Juxtapoz]

It's typical to hit a lowpoint at 5-6 months because you start seeing the faults, it's usually a make it or break it time. But you guys are also living together...hmm....talk to her. Talk talk talk.

[KeepMe]

Communication is key, so have you even talked to her about this? Maybe you should. It's been almost a year with my boyfriend, and I, and at five months we did have some ups, and downs, but we were not in a lull.

My boyfriend gradually started moving in with me three months after being together. His parents live close, so it wasn't like a huge step. First came his clothes, then came his television, then came his computer, and so on. lol.

Young people set lifetime goals with one another, and expect them to get married, and live together forever. Though it's possible, and it happens more often than we think, you also can't expect too much, and put too high of standards on a relationship. Catch my drift?

My boyfriend, and I, are in the same position. My boyfriend works, and I'm going to school. We live together, and when you live together things begin to change. I want to think that I could be with my boyfriend forever, and marry him, and have a family, but I'm not expecting it. I'm not going to be completely shocked if we don't, it's just something I would like to do but whatever happens, happens.

 

If you have suspected her cheating for a long time, your behavior toward her begins to change. You may not notice it, but it happens. The change in behavior could be discovered by her making her more distant from you. So even if she isn't cheating she may be a bit' distant, and you will have a greater feeling she is cheating. You should also open up the communication barrier and talk to her about the cheating. Tell her you suspect something, but in a calm, non-aggressive way.

 

Point is, don't set too high of standards on your two's relationship. Don't expect too much, and just enjoy the time you two have together. Forget about where you will be in a years to come, just focus on what is going on now. More strains you have, the harder the relationship will be to maintain.

 

Good luck!

[HeartGoesOn]

After 5 months, you're just beginning to get to know her, and I can't even imagine living together that soon.

[geekgirl4]

Mmm, sounds like you moved in with her before really getting to know her. It seems like you jumped quickly into moving in and that jump in terms of getting to know each other intimately was also too quick. Your relationship gets stronger in steps and increments - taking a huge one without establishing a stronger relationship with her results in...well, this. You do start seeing faults after a few months into a relationship but usually you work through it and are happy again. I think talking to her would help.

[Distant]

The relationship went too fast for you 2. I would talk to her and evaluate your relationship.

Good Luck

[Kane0828]

thank you all for the advice, I had a talk to her in terms of how she seen our relationship. I got I love you with all my heart, I want to be with you.

 

However, I still see her texting away, and have doubts that she is fully into the thought of just me, and has almost a addiction of "the not getting caught" rush. Perhaps I am over thinking, and simple need to take it day by day an enjoy her company, however in the back of my mind I can't shake the thought of her with someone else, and in reality faking her words of love because I am the 'safe" guy so to speak (money, place to stay, ect)

 

Also she recently expressed her desire to get a gym membership so she can work out, tan, ect. On the surface I find it to be no big deal, however that stupid feeling I have starts running theories that this will give her a free pass to go out and do whatever, then say she is at the "gym". Again this sucks because I just want to not have to have that knot of doubt that creeps, i have never been a jealous person, and really trust everyone, however, I see things that make me second guess alot, its a tough thing because when we are together I feel like I am on cloud 9....