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Start of something? please help!

Welsh lad

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Hey everyone, apologies if im posting this in the wrong room wasnt quite sure where to post it


Brief summary of problem (or brief as can be)

About 7 years ago i got friendly with this girl and a group of friends that turned out to be my best mates from that day. This girl was amazing really was, we flirted lots,talked loads and kissed a lot. We were both young ish then i was 20/21 she was about 17/18 i really really liked her but nothing came of it partly my fault partly hers.

She went to uni met a lad and was with him for the past 7 years, we kept in touch, our group of friends said its obvious she still has strong feelings for me when we were together.

One night we got drunk and had a massive argument over what im not sure,anyway for 12 months we didnt speak.

Last october she broke up with her bf of 7 years, i was going through my own break up at the time also.

We bumped into each other over xmas and i thought its time to make amends and apologise for whatever i had done as it was causing tension with the group of friends, she apologised straight away also and we spent the whole night catching up,swapped numbers etc.

from october-jan we text quite often,saw each other out now and again,talked on msn and facebook and just got back to how things were friendship wise.

I suggested we go out for a walk or something, she said yes but aslong as it was as friends as she "wasnt quite there" which iwas totally fine about as i know it takes time.


January was my birthday and we all went out, when something i didnt think would happened happened,we ended up kissing,she said i was the 1st boy i kissed since her breakup and it felt really special,we kissed acouple more times and again i apologised for not being in her life for 12 months.


The weeks moved on and keeping in touch has been almost daily,even callign on the phone, we kissed again a few weeks later, spent the night together just cuddling which was really nice.

We havent been on a date, i had asked her but she was always keen for others to join us,again i put it down to time healing?


Weekend just gone i met her out and we got on like a house on fire as always, we ended up going back to hers and spent the night and most of the next day together. it was amazing felt so nice we had such a good laugh together. she opened up telling me her ex keeps askign her back but she says no (something which a mutual friend has told me) she was also a bit down as it was the anniversary of her best friends death this week.

Anyway after a while i left and we shared a few texts that day.


Out of the blue yesterday she said she thinks its best we stay friends as she doesnt want to mess me about and lose our friendship and she doesnt feel ready to get close to someone at the minute and needs to sort her head out, i was again totally understanding, and said nothign will change etc but told her id love something to happen but it could be a case of right girl wrong time.

Got a lovely reply off her saying im an amazing person and shes lucky to have me in her life. we text again for msot of the day, i continued to be normal, yes i was gutted but at the same time i can see her point.

we ended the day by her asking me to go round somepoint this week to help her with a few things and she would like to take me on a day trip on monday which i agreed with.


Sorry i really have rambled there havent i?

I just want your opinions and advice really, im 99.9% sure im not a rebound boy and she susing me,because theres nothign to use me for really?

My long term plan is to continue to be myself, a nice normal guy,if the chance coems up for kissing etc then take it but dont push it, then in a few months maybe see where we are at?

Just wonderign if anyones goign through/been through somethign similar i can relate to? i cant ask my mates as we are all friends and they will be in an awkward position.


thanks guys and sorry again for a huge post!!

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Bumped into her last night, we shared a few drinks and i walke dher home and went in for a chat with her.

Turns out her ex is texting calling her everyday,shes had to get his mum involved to speak to him as its really creeping her out. She said she went to see him about 15 days ago to try and put him straight and he was a mess (feel sorry for the guy because we all know what its like im sure)

Shes changinge her number now because of it, he also lives about 30 miles away.


we chatted for a good hour or so then ended up cuddlign and kissing before i went home and she had an early start with work today.


Do you think now i just leave it until she texts me? im dying to now just to say hello but i dont want to be foreceful. It will take time but im willing to do it.

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hey im tony going through the same thing but ive only seen this girl once and im not sure what to do either ive made a thread their if u wana read it.


i know what you mean by not wanting to be forceful but by the sounds of it she likes you and you could have a chance if maybe somhow you could talk to her again on how you feel because you sound like a nice bloke and maybe ask her if she wanted to give it a shot or you can wait a while longer (which hurts alot i know) but if she knows how you feel just keep her close you never know what will happen good luck m8

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Yeah it sounds like she definitely likes you but because all of the stuff with her ex (and 7 years is a long time!) she doesn't want to get in too deep. Maybe she likes you so much that she's worried you'd get hurt so wants to make sure she's totally sorted before starting anything with you. In the meantime still be a great friend to her and the hugs and kisses sound like a great bonus!

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thanks very much, its good to know the path ive dedcided to go down could be the right one

Hopefully we are hanging out on monday too which would be nice


Just out of interest how long do you think it would take to get over someone after that length of time? i know different for everyone.

Pretty sure its all NC from her point

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I have no idea as I've never been in the situation, I guess it depends how many ties she has to sever with him - did they live together or share any responsibilities as sometimes people have to wait to move out, sell a house, split assets etc. before they can fully move on from that person.

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