Cognitive_Canine Posted April 1, 2010 Share Posted April 1, 2010 THAT YOU'RE GOING TO ENJOY IT NO MATTER WHAT, BECAUSE IT'S NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL. What IS a big deal is ENJOYING IT WITH THE PERSON YOU LOVE. Sex is overrated. And just because you love someone does not mean you'll enjoy having sex with them. You have unrealistic expectations about sex. Link to comment
DreamerGirl27 Posted April 1, 2010 Share Posted April 1, 2010 Nobody tried to say that. We just told you that love alone doesn't mean that you will have a good marriage. There should be compatibility in many aspects such as sex. Then I am saying that there is no such thing as compatibility with sex. Sex is sex is sex, just like blue is blue and red is red... I'm out. Link to comment
DreamerGirl27 Posted April 1, 2010 Share Posted April 1, 2010 And just because you love someone does not mean you'll enjoy having sex with them. You have unrealistic expectations about sex. No, I don't. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted April 1, 2010 Share Posted April 1, 2010 Then I am saying that there is no such thing as compatibility with sex. Sex is sex is sex, just like blue is blue and red is red... I'm out. You've never had sex nor any type of sexual contact. You have no idea. Link to comment
DreamerGirl27 Posted April 1, 2010 Share Posted April 1, 2010 You've never had sex nor any type of sexual contact. You have no idea. I've kissed guys and I can tell you I regret kissing the guys I didn't love. I've kissed 3 guys, and I enjoyed all 3, but I only regret kissing the 2 I didn't have feelings for. The 3rd guy, was a better kisser than the 2nd (I don't even like saying that because it sounds retarded to me, a kiss is a kiss), but I didn't have any feelings for him so I did not care one little tiny bit. The 3rd guy was also more buff than the 2nd, and just being pressed up against his body I could tell I would have (and could have) gone home with him that night and hell yeah I would have enjoyed it, but the whole entire time my mind would have been thinking about the 2nd. I took a psychology 101 class and went on to a life psychology class and ya know the first slide show the teacher played? Don't remember exactly how it was worded, but it was something along the lines of love/sex being through your MIND not your genitals. and again, I'm out Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted April 1, 2010 Share Posted April 1, 2010 Yes, it is through your mind. And, if you and your partner aren't speaking the same language or on the same wavelength, then it's not going to be very enjoyable. Link to comment
greywolf Posted April 1, 2010 Share Posted April 1, 2010 This is why I don't go to a Christian church anymore. It messes with your head. Anyone that can say that child abuse victims enjoyed the abuse is messed up. I think she meant that people can get physically aroused from it. Link to comment
DreamerGirl27 Posted April 1, 2010 Share Posted April 1, 2010 I'm gonna ask a big fat, stupid question here. HOW CAN SEX NOT BE GREAT? You people make no sense to me. Literally...none. What kind of language are you talking about Cognitive? There are only so many things in the world...there are only so many different things you can do. I've never had escargo and I can tell you I wouldn't like it. I've never had a million dollars and I could tell you I would enjoy it. Yeah, still feeling like a genius here and feeling like I am talking to a bunch of high school students. Link to comment
DreamerGirl27 Posted April 1, 2010 Share Posted April 1, 2010 I mean, if you guys are creating some sort of brand new language that's never been heard of and I can't speak it with my partner or learn it for that matter, then there must be something drastically wrong with me. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted April 1, 2010 Share Posted April 1, 2010 It's horrible if both you and your partner are submissive people and both want the other to start the sexual encounter. It's also bad if one partner has a much higher sex drive than the other. One will be frustrated and unsatisfied while the other will feel like sex is all that matters to one partner. Same if you both have dominating sexual personalities. If one partner doesn't like to kiss during sex and the other finds that person emotionally removed. Or if one needs rough sex and the man doesn't feel comfortable doing anything rough with his partner. If one wants dirty talk or some kind of kinkyness and the other feels too dirty to do those things. There are hundreds of situations like this where little things...over a long time end up causing huge problems if the two people aren't able to adapt or change what they like. Link to comment
HouseKitten Posted April 1, 2010 Share Posted April 1, 2010 HOW CAN SEX NOT BE GREAT? Maybe you should take a look at the Sex And Romance forum, and answer your own question for yourself. Sex is far more complicated than 'slot A goes in tab B = awesome!'. You can have a good time with someone in public and a lousy time in bed. One of you might have a far higher sex drive than the other and end up resenting each other for lack of/too much sex. One person might think oral sex is disgusting while the other can't orgasm without it. Come back when you've actually had sex, maybe then your ideas will be taken seriously. But since you've got no experience whatsoever in any sexual contact, you really have no idea what you are talking about. Link to comment
greywolf Posted April 1, 2010 Share Posted April 1, 2010 bad sex is entirely possible. And when it's bad... it's bad. Link to comment
DreamerGirl27 Posted April 1, 2010 Share Posted April 1, 2010 Relationships are give and take. I'd rather risk being with someone I know I love mentally and emotionally and risk maybe not liking everything he does or vice versa and trying (or not trying) things that each of us think we might enjoy (or might not enjoy) and letting that relationship (the sexual one) develop further after I'm already in a committed relationship with someone I know I love and respect and care for. Because in the end, we all get old, the pipes get rusty, but the ones who really care for you are the only ones who are going to be around in the end when it really matters. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted April 1, 2010 Share Posted April 1, 2010 Maybe you should take a look at the Sex And Romance forum, and answer your own question for yourself. Sex is far more complicated than 'slot A goes in tab B = awesome!'. You can have a good time with someone in public and a lousy time in bed. One of you might have a far higher sex drive than the other and end up resenting each other for lack of/too much sex. One person might think oral sex is disgusting while the other can't orgasm without it. Come back when you've actually had sex, maybe then your ideas will be taken seriously. But since you've got no experience whatsoever in any sexual contact, you really have no idea what you are talking about. Lol, there wouldn't be a Sex and Romance section if people didn't have sex issues. Exactly right. Link to comment
Organs Posted April 1, 2010 Share Posted April 1, 2010 I'm gonna ask a big fat, stupid question here. HOW CAN SEX NOT BE GREAT? You people make no sense to me. Literally...none. What kind of language are you talking about Cognitive? There are only so many things in the world...there are only so many different things you can do. I've never had escargo and I can tell you I wouldn't like it. I've never had a million dollars and I could tell you I would enjoy it. Yeah, still feeling like a genius here and feeling like I am talking to a bunch of high school students. One, if a forum's worth of people think differently from you and disagree, it may not be that they're out of their minds. Two, you're inflating your ego quite a bit here. Especially for someone who hasn't tried half of the stuff she claims to be expert on. Three, you cling to your bible to the point that it becomes a hindrance to your life. Yeah, the bible says a lot of things. It was also written some TWO THOUSAND YEARS AGO and we've learned a LOT about ourselves in the meantime. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted April 1, 2010 Share Posted April 1, 2010 Relationships are give and take. I'd rather risk being with someone I know I love mentally and emotionally and risk maybe not liking everything he does or vice versa and trying (or not trying) things that each of us think we might enjoy (or might not enjoy) and letting that relationship (the sexual one) develop further after I'm already in a committed relationship with someone I know I love and respect and care for. Because in the end, we all get old, the pipes get rusty, but the ones who really care for you are the only ones who are going to be around in the end when it really matters. But sex isn't just exclusive. It all has to do with compatibility. Great sex is an indication of great emotional and mental connection. So, if the sex is bad, it typically means something else in the relationship is off that is causing the bad sex. Link to comment
greywolf Posted April 1, 2010 Share Posted April 1, 2010 Relationships are give and take. I'd rather risk being with someone I know I love mentally and emotionally and risk maybe not liking everything he does or vice versa and trying (or not trying) things that each of us think we might enjoy (or might not enjoy) and letting that relationship (the sexual one) develop further after I'm already in a committed relationship with someone I know I love and respect and care for. Because in the end, we all get old, the pipes get rusty, but the ones who really care for you are the only ones who are going to be around in the end when it really matters. I absolutely agree that relationships are give and take. But didn't you say earlier that if your boyfriend/husband wanted more sex than you that you'd just kick him out? How does that fit in with this? Link to comment
DreamerGirl27 Posted April 1, 2010 Share Posted April 1, 2010 One, if a forum's worth of people think differently from you and disagree, it may not be that they're out of their minds. Two, you're inflating your ego quite a bit here. Especially for someone who hasn't tried half of the stuff she claims to be expert on. Three, you cling to your bible to the point that it becomes a hindrance to your life. Yeah, the bible says a lot of things. It was also written some TWO THOUSAND YEARS AGO and we've learned a LOT about ourselves in the meantime. to it even harder I think we're getting worse, but that's just my opinion. Link to comment
Taikero Posted April 1, 2010 Share Posted April 1, 2010 I'm gonna ask a big fat, stupid question here. HOW CAN SEX NOT BE GREAT? You people make no sense to me. Literally...none. What kind of language are you talking about Cognitive? There are only so many things in the world...there are only so many different things you can do. No, there really aren't so many things you can do. The GREAT thing about sexual interaction is it's not just about doing it like a missionary. There are so many possibilities it makes my mind boggle. I could go on for hours with possibilities and things I'd like to do and try, from positions to teasing to various "kinky" things to types of pleasurable pain to....on and on and on. I've never had escargo and I can tell you I wouldn't like it. How can you possibly know this? You may not like the IDEA of it, but until you slurp down a big fat juicy snail you're not going to know if you like the taste of escargot. It's preposterous to think differently and disconnected from reality. I've never had a million dollars and I could tell you I would enjoy it. So, take taxes off the top. Then there's the amount you'd be expected to donate to charity. Then there's the money your family and friends would expect you to give them (and if you don't they'll be pissed at you and some won't speak to you again, either at all or for quite some time), then there's the money you'd likely immediately blow on stupid things (just like any of us would).....after all that you might be left with $50k-$100k if you're lucky. Enjoy your million! My point here is that you're painting this black and white picture but this isn't an all-or-nothing setting. Missionary sex is like painting with one color with a single paintbrush. There is so much you can do once you bring other colors, different types of paint (acrylic vs. oil, etc.), different paintbrushes, and even different canvas types into the mix. Sex is and can be even MORE varied than that! That's why you're not understanding so much, DreamerGirl. You're thinking sex is something found in a textbook and everybody's bodies are the same and the same things are enjoyable to everyone, but once you realize there are different tastes, desires, fetishes, obsessions, hangups, preferences, turnons, turnoffs, and so on it gets much more interesting and it goes far beyond "how could it not be enjoyable" because not everybody is going to enjoy what you personally like! Link to comment
greywolf Posted April 1, 2010 Share Posted April 1, 2010 to it even harder I think we're getting worse, but that's just my opinion. They used to nail people to crosses and it'd take them days to die, and we're getting worse? Link to comment
DreamerGirl27 Posted April 1, 2010 Share Posted April 1, 2010 I absolutely agree that relationships are give and take. But didn't you say earlier that if your boyfriend/husband wanted more sex than you that you'd just kick him out? How does that fit in with this? Because my boyfriend would be a complete ass to want sex from me all the time if I didn't. I'd give a little more, he'd give a little less. Link to comment
Sparkly Eyes Posted April 1, 2010 Share Posted April 1, 2010 Because my boyfriend would be a complete ass to want sex from me all the time if I didn't. I'd give a little more, he'd give a little less. lol, what about finding a guy who wants sex as much as you instead of being with a guy who has to compromise a lot to be with you? The dreamy love that you have in mind won't last forever, but compatibility does! Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted April 1, 2010 Share Posted April 1, 2010 Because my boyfriend would be a complete ass to want sex from me all the time if I didn't. I'd give a little more, he'd give a little less. Wouldn't you be an uncaring girlfriend if you didn't try to make your boyfriend happy? You are sort of throwing away his feelings here. Link to comment
DreamerGirl27 Posted April 1, 2010 Share Posted April 1, 2010 Clearly I'm also smarter with money than you. I wouldn't donate crap to charity. I wouldn't give my friends or family (maybe my parents) money, and if I didn't, they'd still be in my life. I would blow it on a new wardrobe that would cost me about 500 bucks in one trip to the mall...oh wait, I already have all the clothes I want, so scratch that, I probably wouldn't even do that. I'd invest it/save it and live off the interest of it like a smart person would do and I'd be set for life. and yes, I can say I would not enjoy escargot. Nor would I ever try it. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted April 1, 2010 Share Posted April 1, 2010 Clearly I'm also smarter with money than you. I wouldn't donate crap to charity. I wouldn't give my friends or family (maybe my parents) money, and if I didn't, they'd still be in my life. I would blow it on a new wardrobe that would cost me about 500 bucks in one trip to the mall...oh wait, I already have all the clothes I want, so scratch that, I probably wouldn't even do that. I'd invest it/save it and live off the interest of it like a smart person would do and I'd be set for life. and yes, I can say I would not enjoy escargot. Nor would I ever try it. Actually, that's a really dumb thing to do as inflation is faster than interest rates. Link to comment
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