picking fights

[cntrofthestorm]

My exboyfriend and i have been broken up for about two months. I haven't talked to him since. (besides responding to a dumb email from him saying i 'mean the world to him' and he'd like to still be friends... don't even get me started on that right now haha) I'm on my way to getting over it (just waiting for that small flame of hope to go away even though, logically, i know it shouldn't be there)

 

but i was just reading some things and everyone says that when a guy wants to break up with you, they will pick fights in hopes that you will say well maybe we should just break up so then they can leave and not feel guilty.

 

the day before the breakup my boyfriend came over and was just the biggest butthead. it was really unlike him. it ended with me crying and telling him to get out. i called him later asking if we could talk about it and he said, what? you want to break up? and i was like no. and he asked, then a break? and i told him no, i want to try to fix this. he said he wanted to think about it so he didn't say anything he'd regret. next day, it was over.

 

when i start thinking of when the arguments started it was kind of a really long time ago. do you think he was thinking of breaking up with me all that time? it's really hard for me to believe/accept that. what does that say about him as a person? i've been working on forgiving him in my own mind for the situation and forgiving myself too but now when i think he wanted to break up with me for all of that time, it just makes me sick. i don't know how to forget about that.

 

i don't really know if this is just a vent or a question. i'm just tired of this all and needed to post something.

[comicgal]

It means that he's a pansy and can't be grown up about ending things. You're better off without him. Trust me, there are more manly men out there to be with

[Mee-chelle]

I don't think every fight means they are thinking break up. My ex fought with me a lot, but I think he just really liked to fight. He was always the one that came back. Usually in less than two hours. I told him to go away tons. I told him I didn't want to talk to him anymore 100 times. I don't think he was smart enough to have planned out fights. I don't think your ex thought i'm going to fight with her so I can end it.

 

It might have been subconcious though. Every time I fought with my ex and told him to go away, deep down I knew that him going away was what was best. I am sure he felt the same way too.

 

I don't think you should torture yourself over this though. Regardless the relationship was not meant to be.

[cntrofthestorm]

thanks, you are both right

[lana111]

i dont think that picking fights means he wanted to do what you said... but ill admit... ive done that. i tried to be such a bad gf that he would get rid of me (bc i tried to break up with him on numerous occassions and it never stuck cause he wouldnt let go).

 

he could have been thinking about the future of you guys so that when you said you wanted to talk, his mind went right there.