When you want to help people but they get mad at you

[Rockchick26]

I have recently realized that I feel passionate about helping people. Specifically helping them learn about things they didn't know about that could help them in all areas of their lives. For example healthy eating, natural healing, metaphysics/existential stuff, etc.

 

I have tried to help people by sharing the information I know, giving them advice when they ask for it, and informing people of things I know they would be interested in, or that could help them.

 

I have found that this backfires, really bad. Today I just lost about 20 friends because of this. I can give the details if anyone wants, but basically we were talking about a subject and I offered some websites with information so they could see for themselves and not take my word for it. Well instead of reading them they immediately got mad at me and said I insulted them by preaching and insinuating that they are wrong and I am right. Honestly, the things I was telling them were facts, but they didn't believe them. (That healthy eating can help prevent diseases and that there is a mind/body connection)

 

This whole thing lasted about 3 hours, and everyone was attacking me and nobody was listening to me defend myself, they were just too mad. Finally I said ok we're not gonna agree, lets just say we have different beliefs and then I apologized. Well they said it was a stupid apology because I worded it wrong. Then they all talked about it on Twitter (behind my back, but I could see it all). I didn't backstab anyone, I didnt say a bad word about anyone, and I was being called " * * * * * * * " and "evil", what the hell?! I truly had no idea where this came from, I was just helping, or so I thought.

 

So now i'm wondering if I should persue this as a career because obviously people don't want to be helped, or they just blame you for preaching to them, and patronizing them. I don't know how anyone else does it. There are tons of people out there who do what I want to do and they don't lose friends, they GAIN them! I don't understand what I did wrong!

[Sanesoul]

I'm curious as to how you actually worded what you were trying to put accross because that is a very hostile reaction.

 

For 20 people to feel the same way about something you were trying to "teach" them about, I think you need to re-evaluate how you come accross to people.

[Rockchick26]

It was on a forum and the thread was deleted, so I'll have to remember.

 

(paraphrasing here)

 

One girl said, "Well I guess if only I had eaten healthy, I wouldn't have had that miscarriage!"

So I looked up what the causes of miscarriage were and I told her, "I just found a site that lists eating unhealthy foods is a risk factor for miscarriages". and I gave her the link to it so she could see it. In the same post she also asked about agoraphobia so I also provided her a link to some sites that said eating unhealthy aggravates all anxiety disorders. It was all medical information, not opinions, and I wasn't even saying anything personal TO her, I was simply showing her some sites with this information on it. That was pretty much it, after that the rest was all people saying I had no tact. I didn't demean her or belittle her or blame her or insult her, all I did was tell her what I found!

[WomanWriter]

My reply is that if people are going to get so upset over objective comments (like it sounds like you were making), they are probably too sensitive to be friends with in the first place. They didn't have to take anything you said personally, but obviously did. I tend to be the same way but my friends don't mind because they know it's my personality and find no offense in it. These friends obviously don't share your personality traits, so I would find some who enjoy discussing self-help stuff without feeling personally attacked.

[Rockchick26]

The thing is, the people who are already into the things I'm into already know all this stuff so it does no good to tell THEM, the people I want to help are the people who don't know this stuff.

 

Most of these girls I have known for over a year, so I thought we were pretty good friends (as good as you can get online, anyway). It just hurts me that they would think I meant any of this in a bad way. It's natural healing and healthy eating, I didn't think it was even possible for someone to get pissed off when you talk about those things. I mean it wasn't like I was trying to get them to convert religions or political parties or anything.