A date gone bad what do I do?

[lostandscared5]

A date gone bad what do I do? Two days ago, I went on a date and at first everything was fine, but things turned from good to bad to worse pretty fast as soon as we started talking. I guess I was pushing things a little too fast considering this is our second week together. He told me even though hes interested in me he doesn't think that we are compatible. But he would still like to be friends in an open relationship with me.

 

I felt like hes playing me at first he says theres a 50/50 chance we might work out and now he tells me I don't think we're compatible because of all the negativity that is going on with us, our relationship, our moms even and how they think of us together. He named 5 or 6 reasons why he thinks his mom would disapprove of me and I told him how my mom disapproves of him too cuz he's hurt me before and he doesn't really have a mind of his own, he is pretty indecisiveness, he don't know or couldn't or is incompatible of showing his interest in me. And yet we both enjoy holding each other's hand and kissing each other, we're happy in that sense. Is that worth being friends in an open relationship with him or is it better we return to being friends? If we are friends in an open relationship we get to see each other more often than being friends. It's obvious to me that he does not have a preference, that this is really ultimately my decision. A part of me want to end this cuz I know my feelings for him will grow if I don't but the other side wants to give this more time to see if anything is going to change (if he will want to be my boyfriend one day). What I am thinking? Is that stupid of me to think that way?

 

I was really hurt upset and mad about so many of the things he said that day cuz the truth hurts and sometimes he can be way too honest with me. I threw a temper tantrum and just up and walked away (well that didn't exactly happen but its close), that was how upset I was. I think he felt it too cuz he walked as far away from me as possible. I don't know if I can forgive him. His birthday is in the beginning of May and he wants to see me before then. But can I? What do I do now?

 

I wrote a two page letter to him that I plan to send to him through email in about a month or so if he contacts me three or more times before then. It's like I think he deserves to read this letter or our friendship/relationship will never survive am I right? Or is it better I keep it to myself? It is important he knows how I feel after that what happened that day right?

 

I don't want to have anything to do with him for a month so I'm taking a month break with him but he doesn't know that. I never told him about it therefore he never got a chance to agree to it or whatnot. But what if he doesn't? I still want to celebrate his birthday with him and stuff.

 

He is a really close friend of mine and I never thought that he would hurt me like this and he is, and I have no idea why I am letting him either. All because I have feelings for him and because we are close friends and I like him and I care about him?

 

Please tell me what to do.

[agent1607307371]

Don't have sex with him thinking it will make him want to be your bf. That never works.

 

You know what the right thing for yourself is.

[DontGetStung]

You are going to end up hurt, if this continues...badly. If he contacts you just tell him you are not interested in an open relationship or seeing him anytime soon, but you'd like to celebrate his birthday with him.

[HeartGoesOn]

Since you can't get along as far as dating goes, why would you want to sleep with him?

[lostandscared5]

Thanks for the advice. I do not sleep with him. We just started. There's only holding hands and kissing involved.

[catfeeder]

This doesn't sound like something I'd pursue. You've just started dating and you're already having contests to injure one another. I'd just write him off as incompatible and wave pleasantly from accross the room if I ever run into him at a party. He's not worth your time--and he's definitely not worth trusting with a letter that exposes your hurt feelings. Don't send that thing.

[annie24]

i wouldn't bother. if you've been dating for 2 weeks and he's already listed 5-6 reasons why you guys wouldn't work out, then it's not going to go anywhere. "open relationship" means he uses you for sex while he meets and dates other women. blah. i don't see how that can really go anywhere. i'd move forward.

 

forget him. good luck

[Mauxly]

Oh dear. Run for your life!

Speaking from years of experience: if a man knows he loves you, you will too. Anything less is a lesson in pain, confusion, and heartache. Love is work...but it shouldn't hurt.

 

if you start out your romantic life putting up with this crap, it will imprint on you and you'll find yourself completely lost on what true love is. You'll find yourself attracted to those emotionally unavailable men. Same painful relationships, different men. Stop the cycle now!