Jump to content

My bf doesn't care if we have contact daily!


Recommended Posts

So previously I had a post about my bf of less than two months never called me, and a few days ago I eventually called him (after sending a text asking if he's available). He's treating me nicely over all, I went to his house, he cooks for me, he took me out, he took me to his office, he's still waiting since I'm not ready for sex, etc.


The thing is, I realize that if I don't contact him first, and there's nothing big happens, he doesn't care if we have contact daily! He still never calls, and he seldom sends a text first (only at times something like I just moved happened). I kind of think that he believes if nothing big happens, it's not necessary to contact me daily. I personally think some daily contacts are good and we would then know what the other person does when we're not seeing eachother. When I called or sent him a message, he'd reply by telling me something like he hurt his toe or cooked something good etc. This is exactly what a couple should talk on phone daily...but if I didn't initiate it? He wouldn't tell me (he may tell me when he sees next time though).


Should I talk to my bf about this? I somehow think that he should contact me only because he wants to, not because 'we talked about it' and he feels he 'should' do it since I want it.

Link to comment

2 months? he might not be at that point emotionally where he wants to tell you everything about his day, like the way a married couple, or a long term couple might. 2 months is usually still a 'getting to know you' phase. i'd kind of just hang back and try to enjoy things.

Link to comment

okay, i am the exact same way, maybe not at 2 months....but still as we really got to know eachother i found it hard to go to sleep without hearing his voice and for the most part, he actually got me used to him calling me at night...but it wasn't everynight which kinda drove me crazy because i didn't know to expect his call or what?


but anyways, i talked to him about it and and told him that it's not me trying to know what his every move was or me being clingy, i just told him that i simply like hearing his voice before i sleep just like he tells me he takes the best naps when i'm with him. it just makes me day feel complete.


and yeah, you don't really know if he would do just cause he felt obligated, but i would tell my guy plenty of times that if he was too tired he didn't have to call or for whatever reason. but i guess him calling me is just as much a part of his routine as it is mine because even when he doesn't 'have' to, he does and he tells me that he just wanted to.


so i guess that's how you'd know...

but no matter what, communication is key and the way you communicate as well.

Link to comment

Are you saying you are worried that not having daily contact is a bad sign of how he feels? or are you saying you'd like greater contact.If it's the former....


My ex called me all the time weeks after we started seeing eachother. He used to ring to say goodnight. Text to say he missed me when I left the pub early. I was his phone a friend for free...after a month.


Then after 4-5 months he went away for a week, kissed me goodbye, arrived home and broke up with me.


I've stopped trying to read signs and reckon it's just luck.

Link to comment

Some people don't need or want daily contact. Does that make them wrong?


It doesn't make you wrong for wanting daily contact either, but you two need to fall into a compromise. He obviously likes you so that is not the reason for not initiating contact. He probably just does not want to talk everyday.


I am the same way, have been dating a guy for a year now and we don't usually talk everyday. Sometimes there is just nothing new to say within 24 hours that matters enough, or you want to save a story for when you see them in person again.


You don't have to have a giant sit-down discussion with him about it and make him feel pressured. If it is bothering you, just casually ask or remark how you two don't seem to talk everyday, chances are you'll find out he is not a phone person. This is not such a problem as you're making it out to be.

Link to comment

I'm offering my opinion because I'm this exact same way with my girlfriend and we've been together for almost 5 months. I'll contact her only when I feel like there's a problem between us or if I just want to make sure that she is ok. Whenever I think about her safety I'll just send her a short text message saying something like 'I'm doing something right now, but I just wanted to see how your doing'.


I do see her everyday since we have a few classes together and we do get time to talk so that I am already able to get updates about her and how she's doing.


We're also happy together and I'm feeling our chemsitry progressing. I used to apologize for not being able to contact her everyday or even often because of my schedule, but she always said it was ok and that she understood. The two of us lead separate equally busy lives when we're apart and sometimes she's even busier than me. So maybe in your situation try to understand that it's not that he doesn't care but maybe his time is occupied, but you can also talk to him or just playfully ask why he never texts or calls you. But please don't count him out for just this.

Link to comment


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...