betrayedgirl Posted March 31, 2010 Share Posted March 31, 2010 Why is it a red flag? Just wondering .... When a guy tells you he thinks he's falling in love with you SO SOON esp when you haven't seen one other that much .. specifically only twice!! and in a month apart! Link to comment
shes2smart Posted March 31, 2010 Share Posted March 31, 2010 Because he doesn't know you yet. What he's falling in love with is his IDEA of you, which may or may not have anything to do with who you really are. He may also be in love with the idea of being in a relationship or the idea of being in love. Which may not have anything to do with you, specifically. Link to comment
hexaemeron Posted March 31, 2010 Share Posted March 31, 2010 He's not in love. He's vagina-tized. And it will fade. Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted March 31, 2010 Share Posted March 31, 2010 Because how in the world can you fall in love with someone that quickly? Either the "love" is lust and like that is confused, or he has really shallow emotions. Or, he gets attached very deep;y very quickly and might not have the best boundaries. He loves the idea of you, and may not be very nice to be around when you are trying to be you and not what he wants you to be. He might also just want to be with someone, and you're just in the firing line. I mean seriously, how is it not creepy? Link to comment
aurevoir Posted March 31, 2010 Share Posted March 31, 2010 Because... it's just odd. How can you love someone you don't really know? I know most people love that person but they do themselves a favor and keep it in until they have known the person much longer... It kind of is a warning sign like "yeah this person will be clingy or controlling" lol seriously... yikesssss. Link to comment
betrayedgirl Posted March 31, 2010 Author Share Posted March 31, 2010 Very True. I was shocked when I was told that. I barely know him and only saw him twice! Ugh Also experienced a guy 4 years ago that he said he fell in love with me on line before we met and then 2 weeks later after we met he dumped me! UGH UGH! I hate dating! Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted March 31, 2010 Share Posted March 31, 2010 As "Batya" would say, "Watch the feet." And, I agree. Link to comment
Clarity Posted March 31, 2010 Share Posted March 31, 2010 Because they don't know the difference between lasting love and infatuation yet and someone who doesn't know that, is likely inexperienced when it comes to relationships and love. Link to comment
atlanticstar Posted March 31, 2010 Share Posted March 31, 2010 As a guy, I'd say that kind of behaviour most certainly portrays emotional immaturity. There are some people that never learn what love is though. You could excuse this from a person in their early twenties that hasn't had much experience, but anyone older than that would ring major alarm bells. As another poster pointed out, this person is most certainly going to be clingy and shallow. Falling "in love" (in their own definition) means that they'll also fall out of this apparent "love" just as quickly. It isn't love. More likely infatuation or idolising someone based upon what little they have seen so far. Link to comment
betrayedgirl Posted March 31, 2010 Author Share Posted March 31, 2010 Makes sense! Thanks I'm in my early 40s. So are most of men I've met in 40s too! UGH! Link to comment
Traveler27 Posted March 31, 2010 Share Posted March 31, 2010 As a guy, I'd say that kind of behaviour most certainly portrays emotional immaturity. There are some people that never learn what love is though. You could excuse this from a person in their early twenties that hasn't had much experience, but anyone older than that would ring major alarm bells. As another poster pointed out, this person is most certainly going to be clingy and shallow. Falling "in love" (in their own definition) means that they'll also fall out of this apparent "love" just as quickly. It isn't love. More likely infatuation or idolising someone based upon what little they have seen so far. This is so true and very well stated. I went out with a guy recently who "fell in love" with me in a very short amount of time. He was emotionally unstable and immature, and it took time for me to see past my own infatuation to see how inappropriate it was for him to be professing such deep feelings so quickly. Beware of any guy that claims he is in love this quickly. It can be very hurtful and an emotional roller-coaster if you fall for it. Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 31, 2010 Share Posted March 31, 2010 He's not in love. He's vagina-tized. And it will fade. are you inferring that this never happens to gay men? they are always perfectly sensible and wait 6-18 months to say the L word? Link to comment
alli Posted March 31, 2010 Share Posted March 31, 2010 Sometimes if they fall in love that fast, they fall our of love equally fast. It is also one of the signs (among many signs) of an abuser. Definitely not the only indicator, but I believe it's one of the top 10 signs or so. At least according to Dear Abby. Link to comment
Zerohero Posted March 31, 2010 Share Posted March 31, 2010 because thats what people say you shouldnt do...... Link to comment
BriarRose Posted March 31, 2010 Share Posted March 31, 2010 I don't think it's a red flag. I know couples where the man said he knew "right away" that he wanted to be with her. Of course, that doesn't mean it's going to work, just that I don't think it necessarily means it won't. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted March 31, 2010 Share Posted March 31, 2010 How confident would you be with an offer to buy your house from a complete stranger who is merely acquainted with the outside? You wouldn't do business with a fool or a user, so why trust your body and your heart to one? Link to comment
hexaemeron Posted April 1, 2010 Share Posted April 1, 2010 are you inferring that this never happens to gay men? they are always perfectly sensible and wait 6-18 months to say the L word? No, vagina-tization never happens to gay men, annie. Thank GOD, proper syntax saves me here, hahaha. Link to comment
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