venting to friends after a break up, frustrating!!

[2900]

ive been venting to friends since the relationship officially ended for good. and im just frustrated, bc all i need is a sympatheic ear. and some compassion and understanding. one friend, who is supposed to be one of my closer friends said, well either you u let him do that to you. and i know its true, but really is it necessary to say that to me? talk about making it hurt more than necessary. i mean, i already know that. and everyone keeps telling me oh do this and dont do that and blah blah blah. i just want to vent! i didnt want any advice or anyones opinion or anyone to judge me. i just want to let it out and talk it to death so this emptiness inside can go away. i know what i did wrong. i know what he did wrong. i knw why it failed. and i know it was unhealthy. i really dont need anyone to point all this out to me. im fully aware. i just want someone to try to understand and not judge me and just let me vent it all out.

[FrenchFries]

Sounds like you need to use this as your venting place, or find one sympathetic ear.

 

A lot of time people will not understand exactly what you are going through. I've been there. I got to the point where I just quit talking to people period. Comments became insensitive and insincere. Looking back, I probably overdid it and pouted entirely too long, always wanting to talk about it, so I could see how it could get annoying. At least you have this site to help you through. I didn't. Just vent here. Start a diary thread.

[Ebrithil]

If you want to tell people about your situation you have to expect that they are going to have an oppinion on it, and they are going to assume that if your talking to them about it that your intrested in hearing what they have to say.

Venting isnt as effective as some people think instead of being rid of all the hurt and anger your just encouraging it, if you want it to be over, if you dont want people to judge you and give you advice then put it behind you and forget it.

[rosephase]

Have you told your friends you just need to vent? A lot of time people don't know what kind of support you want. Just be clear with them. like saying "hey I'm not looking for advice right now I just want to vent some emotions can you just listen to me?"

 

Your friends aren't mind readers if they are good friends they are probably trying to support you the way they think you want support. Give them a break and be clear about what you need.

[FrenchFries]

If you want to tell people about your situation you have to expect that they are going to have an oppinion on it, and they are going to assume that if your talking to them about it that your intrested in hearing what they have to say.

Venting isnt as effective as some people think instead of being rid of all the hurt and anger your just encouraging it, if you want it to be over, if you dont want people to judge you and give you advice then put it behind you and forget it.

 

The bolded is true too. I usually just ended up more upset than I was prior to the rant. There comes a time when it's time to stop, for sure.

[Jd1983]

If you want to vent, why not write it all down in a journal? That way you can let things out, and no one can judge you.

 

It's one thing venting to your friends, and them giving you constructive criticism. I know sometimes you don't want to hear it, but they may be trying to show you something that you don't see yourself.

 

I can understand how frustrating it can be sometimes, but I'm sure they also want the best for you and they don't want to see you being this way.

[hexaemeron]

There's a difference between asking your friends to be a shoulder, and making them your emotional dumping ground. I think you're expecting the former, but you're ending up doing the latter.

[incaangelique]

I don't talk to my friends about it anymore. I have overdone it, and irritated them. I would have felt the same way in their shoes. This is where I vent now.

[jenmar]

Your true friends will let you vent, give their opinion,but not judge.

I have found through the years what friends are there for me no matter what im going through

 

but I do feel I was annoying since my break up is all I could talk about=

so here I am, this place is wonderful, you can type and type and type, and there are a lot of kind hearted wonderful people here that will give you the best non judgmental advice...

 

it will be okay