TooLost Posted March 31, 2010 Share Posted March 31, 2010 I have been with my bf for about 7 months and a few weeks ago we were talking about our sexual preferences(we've discussed this before, but everytime it gets a little deeper and more precise)... He keeps saying the he's just into the basic stuff ( sex, blowjob,....), which I'm still not sure that I believe. The reason for this is that, if it's true, he would be the first person I meet that doesn't have any kind of fetishes or anything... It's okay if it's true, but now I am wondering if I should tell him the "not so typical" sexual stuff that I like... I've only ever told one person so far, and that was my ex whom I was with for quite a few years. He was also into the same stuff as me,.... But now I'm worried that if my bf's really only into what he says he is, that I'll freak him out or something if I share!! What do you guys figure? Is 7 months too soon to share this with him? Or should I just say it now, even if I might freak him out? Link to comment
alli Posted March 31, 2010 Share Posted March 31, 2010 Don't drop the bomb on him at once. Tell him the mildly kinky things you like first & see how he reacts to that. Over time, maybe he won't get freaked out by it once he gets used to knowing the type of stuff you like. Link to comment
guynextdoor Posted March 31, 2010 Share Posted March 31, 2010 Like Alli said break him in slowly and see his reaction. Don't bring out a the whips, chains, box full of toys and leather mask just yet... Link to comment
rosephase Posted March 31, 2010 Share Posted March 31, 2010 personally I would say seven months seems like to long to wait to tell someone about your kinks if they are a big deal to you. I think you should tell him and not worry about it. I think most people are more open to kinky sex then you would guess. Plus he's into you if he isn't willing to try something for you it seems like it might be a bad match. Link to comment
Jd1983 Posted March 31, 2010 Share Posted March 31, 2010 I think you should mention some stuff to him and see how he reacts before letting him know everything. Who knows, he might even secretly enjoy it. You won't know until you find out. Link to comment
TooLost Posted March 31, 2010 Author Share Posted March 31, 2010 Thank you for the quick responses! You guys are right, I'm going to have to share some stuff to see how he reacts, because, as rosephase said, if he's not willing to try anything it probably wouldn't work in the long run... How do you guys think I could "break him in slowly"? Is this stuff I should tell him during sex, after or before? .... I've never been the one to make the first move at anything (kisses, asking out a guy, ...) so it's totally out of character for me to bring up something, especially like this, to a guy! I'm nervous about it!!! Link to comment
Taikero Posted March 31, 2010 Share Posted March 31, 2010 Just mentally prepare him for it beforehand. Maybe if you're sitting around just chatting/watching TV, tell him the next time you two bang you want to try "X", whatever it is. Maybe provide surrounding context, other things you'd do leading up to it, etc. Heck, it'll probably turn him on and you might get right to it then and there. Who knows? Communication is the key to getting what you want. Go for it! Link to comment
Jd1983 Posted March 31, 2010 Share Posted March 31, 2010 Why not ask him if he's willing to try something new in the bedroom? You can start off with blindfolds (fairly innocent) and work your way up from there? Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted March 31, 2010 Share Posted March 31, 2010 I dont think that it is a good idea to hide from a partner what youre sexually interested in. Of course you dont have to just blurt it out but it shows that two people can communicate when topics like this are discussed. Link to comment
TooLost Posted March 31, 2010 Author Share Posted March 31, 2010 Why not ask him if he's willing to try something new in the bedroom? You can start off with blindfolds (fairly innocent) and work your way up from there? I like your idea! I think that's what I'll do!! ...And I figuer blindfolds shouldn't scare him off!! lol Also, I just remembered having a conversation with my bf where I told him I have done more "daring" stuff in the bedroom in my past, he was curious to find out what, but I did not feel comfortable discussing it at the time and told him I'd share with him one day... So I guess the fact he knows something's coming might make it easier too, or at least I hope! Link to comment
Jd1983 Posted March 31, 2010 Share Posted March 31, 2010 I like your idea! I think that's what I'll do!! ...And I figuer blindfolds shouldn't scare him off!! lol Also, I just remembered having a conversation with my bf where I told him I have done more "daring" stuff in the bedroom in my past, he was curious to find out what, but I did not feel comfortable discussing it at the time and told him I'd share with him one day... So I guess the fact he knows something's coming might make it easier too, or at least I hope! Good luck! I hope it all works out! Link to comment
greywolf Posted April 1, 2010 Share Posted April 1, 2010 I'm sure whatever you like is not as bad as you think. Like others have said, break him into it to see his reaction. Or you could just break him in... >_> Link to comment
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