Help! Contacted by ex via email on day 8 of NC.

[Sp1ash]

This forum has been great in helping me through my split. This is where I learned about nc. I started nc 8 days ago. Four weeks after we split. It has been tough. But it is getting easier day by day. This morning me ex sent a joke chain email and for the first time in 2 weeks included me as a recipient. Now I know it's not much of a contact but for her that is stretch to put my name on it. I'm confused. I don't want contact at this point. I'm doing better. And when I saw her name in my in box I felt like I took 2 steps back. Is the best thing just to ignore it and not read to much into it? Or is she reaching out or testing me? Before I went nc I was calling and texting her all the time and finally she got to the point of telling me "you need to move on". I'm trying but this contact from her has thrown a wrench in my day. Any insight?

[manhood]

I would stick to the nc, assuming that she was the one who broke up the relation. If she wants you back as boyfriend she will let you know. She included you in the joke chain mail, just to get a reaction from you. By remaining nc you show her that your moving on.

[FrenchFries]

It was JUST a forwarded email. Look at as that, and nothing else, and continue with your NC.

[Sp1ash]

Ok, fuel to the fire! She sent another saying she hasn't heard from me (she doesn't know that I went nc) and asked how i'm doing. I feel like responding and telling her that like she said I'm trying to "move on" but I'm worried that I might pushher farther away. And I don't think I'm ready to make contact. Just these emails she sent brought back emotions I had of hope before I went nc. What will be going through her mind if I don't respond? After all she told me to "stop" "move on" and even accused me of being "bipolar". That was pretty much what made me go nc.

[pumpkinmoon]

I think you should remain in NC but I know how hard it is to resist replying when they make contact. If you need to reply, don't say that you are trying to move on, don't give her the satisfaction of knowing you are still in a bad place. Just say that you have been really busy lately and leave it at that.

[GunSlinger]

I agree with the second thing theshowfairy said. If I were you I would send a VERY brief reply. Say that you need your space, that the break up was the best thing for both of you and wish her all the best.

If you don't reply you come accross as bitter and resentful. And if you say "you are trying to move on" you're just confirming you are in a bad place. That would be the worst thing to do in this situation

[adviseseeker]

I would reply the next day simply saying that you've been busy lately and you're doing good. Nothing about the relationship or your feelings

[Sp1ash]

Thanks for everybody's advise. I did end up sending her an e-mail. But it was brief. "Ive been really busy. hope your doing well". Even that little bit of communication can set you back when you are doing NC. As I said I am on day 8. I thought I could go over this speed bump with minimal damage. Well it's not that easy. I was feeling good on day 8. until I sent that tiny reply. It did bring back deeper feelings of hope and also now once again im wondering what she is doing and thinking. I was much better off before. Now I decided to start on day 1 once again tomorrow. My point, If you are doing nc and you think the smallest of communication is gong to be easy. It's not. it can potentially set you way back. Make sure you are in the right place before you do it. For me? Day 8 is not it. Starting with 1 tomorow. Peace.

[fr0z3n]

no need to start from day 1 tomorrow... just continue doing it, it doesn't matter counting the days of your NC, BTW don't focus on the NC part, focus on yourself, thats the reason of NC not counting the days that you are not contacfting your ex... If you feel replying a bit, just a brief reply is ok, you dont need to explain to her but it is considered LC... For now, stick to NC, just forget about her for the time being while you are healing... Replying to her at this time is not worth it, she's just checking on you, why? because if your doing good, she'll feel less guilt about the BU, and if you're doing bad, she'll feel that her descision to BU is right,... see.. if you'll reply to her, whatever you reply will just make her feel good and i'm sure you'll feel bad about it... Stick to NC until you regained yourself and confidence back, as they say when you finally took the contol from her back to you...