help me, I need some sort of advice

[bastion]

Okay, so this is an oh so typical thread about trying to figure out what level someone is on with a guy they are attracted too. The problem is...this guy, there is not much too him that even makes me remotely interested in dating him interest wise. He makes me laugh, and thats what has hit me...

 

I work at a dead-end supermarket checkout job and he is in the same position as me only he works less. He is much older then me, he is feminine, he is attractive, he's funny, but his over-the-top gayness is what was completely unattractive to me in the beginning (I like my men to be men...) making our relationship incredible futile...I was always really hostile to him.

 

Now, evidently looking past what is there and looking towards something that could spark... he has begun flirting with me (I think) and I, in my at most clueless sate am unaware of how to handle it smoothly to make him flirt more, AND to try to figure out if he is actually interested in me or is he just overly friendly to me like he is generally. What makes things worse is that, even though i'm told by most work friends that I am more attractive, he gathers more interest from passing gay customers from his clearly gay identity as appose to my harsh boyish hostile one.

 

The desire for him to want me because I have no one increases as much as I have jealously for his elegance. I hate that he hasn't made a more boldest move so I can basically turn round and tell him that I hate him so much that I actually in the end...love him.

 

This sounds immorally shallow AHA, but its hard to really explain how I feel... he doesn't seem to know I'm gay I think, because I give off the impression I'm not, but i'm unaware how to make him know and how to make him want me without looking like a fool.

 

Advice would be greatly appreciated. He shows signs, but the signs are either overly clear...or not clear at all.

[ceez]

have you tried flirting back a little, just jokingly at first so if he pulls away then you'll know he's not interested. not sure how a relationship between co-workers would work though.

[lukeb]

It is unclear exactly from your thread what it is exactly what you want. Maybe you don't even know. I think it is more likely he isn't interested in you but more likely in his nature being more flamboyant and come off as flirty. It is possible he gets enjoyment out of making you a little bit uncomfortable.

 

Can you answer the question yes or no if you are interested in him? Are you not interested in him but want him to flirt with you like an ego boost for you?

 

If you are interested be clear and let him know.