Jump to content

When does NC start getting easier??

Recommended Posts



I am now on day 10 of NC and it still hurts and is a struggle. I am trying so hard not to send the mails and texts I want to send her. I know it will just make me look more pathetic and needy if I do, but letting go of her is just too hard for me at the moment.


How long does it take for the NC thing to start becomming easier?

Link to comment

I suppose it depends on many factors, it's impossible to put a definite amount of time on it. It depends on your depth of feeling, whether you've been through this before, how long you were together, how much you miss the person as opposed to just being with someone, and probably many other things.


I am on day 32 and it's worse today than many days earlier on in my NC. Maybe because despite my best efforts to remove reminders, I have constant reminders regardless of where I go. And I have a feeling she was in the taxi I was driving behind on my way to work today...


I hoping things will start to ease off, but not sure they will for a long time. The reason I'm thinking this is we were only together for a few months, yet she made the greatest impact on me that anyone has ever had.


All we can do is hang in there, and cliched as it is, take every day as it comes, and whenever we feel like getting in touch ( I wobbled big time yesterday and almost called her ), just post here with thoughts.

Link to comment

Thanks - they are good points. We were in therelationship for just ovr 3 years, and she made me happier than i think i have been before - funny now that she is making me unhappier than i have been before too.


I also have constant reminders, i still live in the flat we shared, but i am trying to move out. I also work in a small IT team, and my deputy is her big sister.. That hurts, but i am trying to keep it professional, and seem to be spending alot of time at alternate sites...


Man, why dont they make a magic tablet that can supress feelings and emotions...

Link to comment

For me it got easier as soon as I had my final say. Before that, I keep falling for the Chinese water torture of the pings.


In our final meetup, I told him that:


1. I love him

2. I cannot be friends because I want more

3. Although I would be willing to find a solution to our problems, it is his choice to end things instead of working on our issues together, and therefore it would be stupid of me to try to change his mind

4. explicitly told him not to contact me unless it is to talk about getting back together.


Immediately after I explained very clearly what I was doing and why, I felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. It felt good because it was honest and proactive.


The NC feels good now because there is nothing more I want to say to him. No letters or emails or any of that cr*p I need to think about sending. I said it all to his face.

Link to comment

I have found that it helps to write the letters and just not send them. I have a journal that is slowly filling with them. It gets the thoughts out of my head and gives me some relief.


As for how long it will take, I've always found that after several weeks, NC just becomes the norm. After 6 months, I'm truly ready to put all my hurt away and move on.

Link to comment

Tomorrow I hit 14 days.=D>


Was it hard? YES!

Did I struggle in the beginning? I was angry very angry so in many ways yes but in other ways I was so mad I didn't want to speak with him.

When is was it the hardest? Between day 7 and 11.

Ca you get through it? Definitely, but it's hard! Also knowing he DOES NOT want me to contact him, makes it a bit easier. After all, if he wanted to contact me he could, there are soooo many ways he could.


YOU will get through it! Time, time time. Be around people, family, friends. It's hard, it hurts, but it will get better.

Link to comment

im at about 43 days, it's much easier. don't get me wrong i still get moments everyday i want to call her and ask what went wrong? how she is doing? etc...


against much advice on these boards i still check her facebook to often and it is usually then, when i feel most compelled to contact her.


i had told myself that at day 40 of NC i would call her but I really don't know what to say, so I'm continuing to say nothing. Lately I have felt that I have been able to finally been able to give her up.

Link to comment


I am now on day 10 of NC and it still hurts and is a struggle. I am trying so hard not to send the mails and texts I want to send her. I know it will just make me look more pathetic and needy if I do, but letting go of her is just too hard for me at the moment.


How long does it take for the NC thing to start becomming easier?


It starts getting easier when you decide to move on with your life. If you want an honest answer if you are still thinking of your X 5months from now, then NC was meaningless and worthless. However, if you start living your life now, today, doing all that makes you happy, doing everything to make you smile, work out, interact with others, get out of the house. Once you start doing that, the NC will get easier. You will go a day without thinking about her, then two days, then youll go a week because you have found something to keep your mind busy.


So the answer to your question is. Whenever you decide to move on with your life is when NC becomes easier.

Link to comment

Yes it's definitely a habit.. for some reason my no contact was easy at first but that's just because i convinced myself that i would just be doing damage by contacting and i knew i didnt want to do that. i still had hope at the beginning that she would come back so i gave her space and time. then after a 3 or 4 weeks i realized she wasnt coming back and that i didnt even want her back anymore.


After 30 days i stopped counting.... now i guess it's been 60 or more.


So once it gets overall easier, you'll still have hard moments, but the habit definitely takes over and it becomes second nature not to call your ex. I mean calling them in the first place was just habit too. So now it's time for a new habit - not calling.


BTW looking back I am soooo glad I didn't break NC and call her. I would be embarrassed for pining over someone who didn't want me anymore. I'm glad I stuck to NC, otherwise this would have been a lot harder to get over.


So just believe these things:


-if you call, you're definitely making things worse

-eventually you'll be soooo happy you didn't call

Link to comment


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...