need some serious advice.

[Moodyz]

Here is my situation. Me and my fiance have been together for at least 3 years. When we first started dating her abusive ex had always gotten in the way. She promised to break contact with him and never did until we had moved. Now 3 years later she is being distant. she claims it's because of me and that I don't pay attention to her and we don't go out like we used to. She plays some stupid games online and me following my gut thought something was fishy because of the whole her being distant thing. In this game she always talks to the same guy. He follows her into other games, txt's her all the time and they constantly chat on MSN. Because of a gut feeling I had, I installed a keylogger on my computer to record what she does and i found out she was doing some execessive flirting. She would say stuff to him like let me sit on your lap and see what pops up and then tells him to come lay down with her. I confronted her with this and she claims that she just took it too far. How far is to far? Now things got better for a couple weeks but she is back to being distant. When we first got together we couldn't get enough of each other and now it's like even touching or having any kind of intimate contact is just nothing to her and she claims she is never in the mood or just tired. Now before you say anything its not all about sex. I love her with all my heart but come on....no sex is a sign of her losing interest and wanting something else. I know that much. Now last night she came home from work about 11pm. She had to be up at 7 am and said she wanted to just hope on the computer to check her myspace, facebook, etc. Immediantly getting on she had to start talking to this guy and she was about to join in game with him to play for a while after telling me she was getting off to come to bed. On her days she is online all night with this guy playing her game and talking to him. I know she is still flirting and crap with him and the constant txt'ing him and him txt'ing her is really starting to get old. Should I be worried? Should I just end it?

[eggplant47]

I would definitely be worried. Are you saying you suspect this online Avatar has her x behind it?

 

I'm not saying that couples don't go through dry periods when it comes to sex. Sometimes very innocent things like work stress, back aches ect. are the source. But the fact that she is spending more time in the day conversing (be it online or not) with this guy instead of you means her focus has shifted to someone else.

 

Besides, you probably don't want to be in a relationship where you feel you have to put spyware on your computer, do you?

 

You sound like a nice person & I think you deserve a girlfriend who is gonna want to spend her time with you instead of some gamer.

[geekgirl4]

I would be worried. I also think you guys need to sit down and talk things out. It sucks and sometimes the results aren't what you want, but talking it out means you both are on the same page with the issues in the relationship and how the other person feels. If she thinks you aren't paying enough attention, try to spice things up in the relationship with more dates and cuddling. On the flip side, you need to firmly let her know that you are not comfortable with the flirting and try to figure out the reason why she seems to be talking to other men for so long.