up/down

[jayne27]

my boyfriend and i have been together for over 4 years now. it's been long distance for the most part, and there have been times where we have broken up but as of the last year we are in a very committed relationship. he includes me in everything with his family and his friends. i come from a strict family but my family has been opening up and inviting him to everything. the long distance has been really rough, and only a few months till he moves home.

 

there are a lot of little conflicts that aggravate me:

-his younger sister tags along with everything and hooksup/dates all his friends which is fine, whatever she's a big girl but all of a sudden she has been so rude and mean to me.

-his friends, although they have known me for years now and understand my boyfriend is obviously not going to listen to the lies they make up about me are still disrespectful at times (boyfriend always defends me)

-he has a lot of girl friends, and i've started loosening up on that more (long distance made that hard for me) -so that's not really a problem anymore but i found out he texts his ex that he thinks about her (because she was in a dream .. bull.) and he misses her. i've tried to not make a big deal anymore but deep down that hurts. he really does have a lot of girl friends though and it kinda bugs me..

-we have been fighting a lot lately. he does not rely on me to help him with a lot of things anymore so i feel like he does not need me. he always wants to go out and not talk on thee phone -which is very important in long distance. before we could talk for hours and now he gets so aggravated and ansty after 10 minutes. he gets mad and we fight and say horrible things to each other.

 

i know i am needy. i am trying not to be anymore. i actually have not talked to him in a few days (which is amazing, because we talk several times thoughout the day/text constantly) because i am out of the country.

he got drunk the night before and didn't even say goodbye. i cannot spend any money for phone charges and he knew this. he's left a voicemail to say sorry, he wrote me a message, but that's it. he knew i was scared of not being able to communicate to each other and he knew how sad i was not going to talk to him.. yet he didn't make me a priority.

 

 

i don't mean to complain. these are just things that aggravate me. he is a great guy when all these things don't interfere with us or when they don't "bother" us or we don't let it get to us. we plan to spend the future together (although he thinks talking about the future is bad luck... wth)

 

can anyone maybe give me advice? inspirational tips? quotes? anything?

[90_hour_sleep]

nothing will change if you don't find a way to communicate these things to him. the point is to find a way to express yourself...to help him to understand your thoughts...feelings...etc...in a such a way that invites him to do the same. every relationship inevitably reaches this stage...where conflict seems to dominate. the ones that last are the ones that work through it...together. it's about learning to see each others' differing perspectives. it's not about agreement or disagreement...but more about finding trust in the bond that you share.