does anyone else have nc goals?

[bungalo]

I feel silly for doing the day counting thing...but I am obsessive compulsive to a degree...I have made it 45 days NC..and am shooting for 60..I have the urge to contact her all the time..but I tell myself...no you gotta make it (however many days I've set up in my mind..originally 90..but the next benchmark is 60..)...I ran into a coworker today that I really want to ask out...maybe I can occupy myself with her while I heal from my ex...but I don't want to mislead her that I am ready for a rel/ship...after 5 years with the ex...Criminey..

[JackPotential]

You are on the right path. One day you'll stop counting and obsesssing naturally and yes a new relationship will accelerate this process. Keep counting...don't mislead her...just let things unfold naturally. Let her know where you are at...women love honesty...honesty they can work with.

[incaangelique]

I have a goal of 60 days as well. After the 60 days, I don't know, maybe 90, or maybe I will stop counting after that (hopefully).

I would be careful about dating, be honest if you choose to date. Don't hurt anyone. Don't mess with karma.

[afguy200105]

Well I don't really know what goals I have either. I am a few days shy of 90 days, but I just don't feel like it is really getting better. Lately, I feel things have stagnated in my feelings and that I haven't gotten any better since my last post. I still have the urge to want to call and talk to her everyday....I just don't understand how she has moved on so quickly from what we had, and seemingly not giving me a second thought. NC is best though, because honestly, I feel like if I talked to her on the phone, got an email, or saw her someplace face to face, I would completely break down still. My problem though is I still want her back and am not over her

[JackPotential]

Well I don't really know what goals I have either. I am a few days shy of 90 days, but I just don't feel like it is really getting better. Lately, I feel things have stagnated in my feelings and that I haven't gotten any better since my last post. I still have the urge to want to call and talk to her everyday....I just don't understand how she has moved on so quickly from what we had, and seemingly not giving me a second thought. NC is best though, because honestly, I feel like if I talked to her on the phone, got an email, or saw her someplace face to face, I would completely break down still. My problem though is I still want her back and am not over her

 

90 days is still raw...some heartbreaks can take...years.

[afguy200105]

90 days is still raw...some heartbreaks can take...years.

 

The thought of it taking years to get over her really scares me to think about. However, I can definitely see it taking a very long time knowing how I let it all bother me so much.

[RockyRaccoon]

Stop counting the days and it will get better. Everytime you count a day, you have to think back to the first day and about your ex, which i'm sure was painful. Just let go and stop counting and it'll start to get better. Counting the days is referencing your life around something about your ex, which is the opposite of what NC is supposed to be about.

[jimmajam]

I did at first, I wanted to go a month. Then I broke it and we were in low contact for a while. Now it's just another day. She isn't contacting me which makes it easier. Just over 3 months now.

[incaangelique]

Counting the days gives me a sense of accomplishment and it is the only thing keeping me from sending an e mail in my weak moments. I need the structure of counting for now.

[GenoGeno]

This is yet again a first official day with no contact. I always broke it before because she would contact me but she understands now so this should make it easier on my part I'm hoping but now I feel really lost at the same time.

[2000Miles]

I'm setting a goal of 30 days. I'm pretty sure I can do it And I plan on rewarding myself with some nice shopping if I reach my goal.