Best ways to chat up a girl?

[Green Mile]

OK question for the ladies here.

 

I struggle with approaching girls who I'm attracted to when I'm in pubs/clubs/bars etc. and I'd love some tips on how to overcome it.

 

My main fear is rejection, but I also don't really have a clue what to say to a girl who is a stranger. I mean a girl must realise immediately that any guy who approaches them in a bar is a guy who fancies them right? So I doubt I'd need to make that obvious.

 

But what should I actually say? I don't want to use any cheesy lines like "did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" blah blah, and I think "can I buy you a drink?" or "what's your name?" are so clichéd and boring.

 

So girls, any tips?! What would get your attention?

[XxJustMexX]

How bout asking her to play a game of pool, or darts or something...? My local bar is real chill and it wouldn't be out of the ordinary for someone to approach a stranger and start a game of pool...

[Theblueman123]

Just say something cocky + funny like: "Hey are you single?" Or "Haha nice outfit..." The key thing here is to not say normal things but bust her balls and just be really conversational and light. Don't be heavy or talk about big things (marriage) and just treat her like a friend. After you get her going for 5-10 minutes quickly get her number and leave so it doesn't get awkward... YOU JUST MET HER!!! (this is where most guys fail).

 

So like after you get her # text her later or something and meet up. Rinse and repeat. Act cocky and funny, and be awesome.

[XxJustMexX]

Just say something cocky + funny like: "Hey are you single?" Or "Haha nice outfit..." The key thing here is to not say normal things but bust her balls and just be really conversational and light. Don't be heavy or talk about big things (marriage) and just treat her like a friend. After you get her going for 5-10 minutes quickly get her number and leave so it doesn't get awkward... YOU JUST MET HER!!! (this is where most guys fail).

 

So like after you get her # text her later or something and meet up. Rinse and repeat. Act cocky and funny, and be awesome.

 

Everything's cool except the cocky part. At least with the girls I know. Cocky gets you nowhere... What kind of girls are you after blueman? lol.

[Theblueman123]

Everything's cool except the cocky part. At least with the girls I know. Cocky gets you nowhere... What kind of girls are you after blueman? lol.

 

Models, lol.

[JackPotential]

Start with "hi" or "hello."

 

Then just say something but without a qualifier (i thought i'd chat you up i.e)

 

Like i'll say. "Hi."

 

Them: nod hello

 

Me: "Can you believe Hannah Montanna isn't going to be on anymore? I haven't felt this crappy since Saved By the Bell was canceled."

[Green Mile]

Thanks for the advice so far, I'm gonna try it out when I can!

 

Any girls wanna contribute too?

[GoneCrazy]

Models, lol.

 

oh in that case just rent a sports car and tell her its yours I think the cockyness can be a hit or a miss.

[JackPotential]

Also make eye contact and don't break it until they do...this can be uncomfortable if you aren't used to it...but you can influence a situation thru eye contact alone.

[quirky]

I like the ice cube example, it's kinda random hehe

 

I mean a girl must realise immediately that any guy who approaches them in a bar is a guy who fancies them right?

 

I don't. It will depend on what he'll say.

Cocky, and cliche chat up lines don't really work for me. Maybe something like "I saw you accross the room, you looked interesting/very pretty and I thought I'd come and introduce myself" "is this your first time in the bar? are these your friends" then it flows and you can ask what she does for a living. "do you like your job" blah, blah.

I would appreciate a slightly awkward guy too that said "well I was struggling with hesitation on whether I'd embarrass myself but you're so pretty I decided to transcend myself and come and speak to you"

[Daligal83]

Honestly, when guys have approached me in bars, whatever "line" they use only sticks in my mind if it's a bad one. Otherwise all I remember usually is that they started talking to me haha. I prefer guys just to be casual about it and not act like they planned out a line or show to put on. No offense to the ice idea, but that would turn me off. It's like he's trying too hard to get my attention. Just come up and say hi and be casual. Don't overdo it trying to impress me. Just talk to me like I'm a regular person, no big deal.

[aurevoir]

Aw well....I dont go to clubs only parties so I can't really help..

just be funny

[kyivish]

That ice cube thing reminded me of a line someone once told me to use. Approach a girl and ask "How much does a polar bear weight? Enough to break the ice" Being awkward really works for some guys.

[andromeda99]

Im not a girl lol but a girl likes confidence and someone who can make her laugh.

 

 

I agree with this, a sense of humor goes a long way when making conversation with someone new.

[easyguy]

Be yourself and let humor elevate the conversation. I talked to 2 girls at school earlier this evening, laughing it up for maybe 15 minutes. Never had met them before. May never see them again, but that's beside the point.

 

Oh, and don't have any goal in mind. If there's a "get her number" vibe at the end, then get it. If not, don't worry about it. You don't have to have a connection to every girl/woman you have a conversation with. You should first feel comfortable around all kinds of women - the loud ones to the quiet ones, punks to nerds. It's all about being able to hang, not even thinking about a potential date. Just be in the moment, present on whoever you're talking to and being able to listen. There will be a natural eb and flow if you just relax and think too much.

 

If you lack things to talk about, fill your life with experiences. When I met my ex, I couldn't shut up about a recent trip I went on. It was talked about with enthusiasm and joy, and stories were told that made her laugh.. not because I was trying to get her to laugh in order to date me, but she was just in my line of fire so to speak. Just hang and have fun, and whatever romance comes out of it will happen when it happens.

 

Don't say anything you don't believe or mean. Be. Yourself.

[dr_styles]

My main fear is rejection, but I also don't really have a clue what to say to a girl who is a stranger. I mean a girl must realise immediately that any guy who approaches them in a bar is a guy who fancies them right? So I doubt I'd need to make that obvious.

 

I find this applies anywhere. Approaching as sign of interest might not be as obvious say on the train, but generally when approaching a stranger you just don't have much in the bag to start with. And on the other side, when a stranger of the opposite sex suddenly talks to you, being hit on is still a high ranking consideration they'll take.

[Ginger1]

I don't go to bars, but if a guy were to approach me, I would expect them to say you know

"hi my name is ____" and then it would be normal for her to say hi and her name. And then I'd just say something along the lines of what brings you here tonight...then say why you are there, then just snow ball into interests etc.

[lila...]

I like the ice cube example, it's kinda random hehe

 

 

 

I don't. It will depend on what he'll say.

Cocky, and cliche chat up lines don't really work for me. Maybe something like "I saw you accross the room, you looked interesting/very pretty and I thought I'd come and introduce myself" "is this your first time in the bar? are these your friends" then it flows and you can ask what she does for a living. "do you like your job" blah, blah.

I would appreciate a slightly awkward guy too that said "well I was struggling with hesitation on whether I'd embarrass myself but you're so pretty I decided to transcend myself and come and speak to you"

 

Same with me, I don't assume most guys that approach me at clubs/bars are hitting on me because when they do talk to me, it's so casual...as if they were talking to a friend. I would appreciate it if they were a little more obvious than that because I'm utterly clueless when it comes to knowing if guys are hitting on me unless it's a very obvious, cheesy pick-up line, which I wouldn't recommend Throw in a compliment and flirt so she knows you fancy her .

[edomestic]

I will share something with you.

 

I know a bit about pick up artist techniques and all the rest of it (comes from having an older brother and heaps of older male cousins) and I can tell you now, that on a lot of girls those techniques are getting pretty old fast. Personally I see them coming a mile away. They often fail.

 

Here is a secret! Don't buy in to the 'neg theory' crap, and all that stuff about standing out by being an * * * * * * * . You don't need to do that, in fact, there is a smarter alternative......

 

The best approach I've ever had, a guy came over to me, a little bit nervous, seemed a bit worried about the whole thing. He introduced himself, shook my hand (weird at a bar). He had the shifty nervous eyes happening, he couldn't quite look me in the eye. I was thinking he was that typical type of guy, a bit nervous and not really sure of himself....

 

and THEN he said "Well hey I am really glad I came over and talked to you, you seem really nice. Have a great night" and he turned to walk away.

 

He made no advance beyond his small talk. No offer of a drink or for my phone number or anything, he just turned to walk away. It was pretty genius. Because I was expecting it, and it didn't happen.

 

I think if you want a girl, you have to stand out, and to stand out, you have to do something unexpected.

 

For the record, I didn't let the guy walk off, and we ended up having a great time together!!!

[lila...]

I like that technique, it leaves you wanting more and wondering, what the heck happened? lol. It shows interest without being pushy

[Exchange]

I'd like to hear the breakdown of this convo. So he just introduced himself, and then walked away?

[thedriver]

If your trying to chat up models, dont bomb them with compliments or tell them you think they are beautiful.

DO rib them, tease them and act like their beauty doesnt bother you.

 

I got an incredibly HOT female friend that is always shooting down the guys that throw themselves at her and shower her with compliments.

Every guy she has dated or been in a relationship with has been the Cocky comedian that doesnt give a crap

[honexx]

OK question for the ladies here.

 

I struggle with approaching girls who I'm attracted to when I'm in pubs/clubs/bars etc. and I'd love some tips on how to overcome it.

 

My main fear is rejection, but I also don't really have a clue what to say to a girl who is a stranger. I mean a girl must realise immediately that any guy who approaches them in a bar is a guy who fancies them right? So I doubt I'd need to make that obvious.

 

But what should I actually say? I don't want to use any cheesy lines like "did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" blah blah, and I think "can I buy you a drink?" or "what's your name?" are so clichéd and boring.

 

So girls, any tips?! What would get your attention?

 

I'd prefer you will ask me "Nice outfit?" or "Are you with your friends?"

 

and have a good humor as well