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son1

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My wife and I finally sat down and decided that we needed to take a long vacation together this summer to do us some good but things aren’t falling into place as far as plans go. She had agreed to take the vacation with just the 4 of us. But it seems “someone” has changed those plans and has trumped our vacation where we wanted to take both of our girls for their birthdays. The plans we had agreed on for “our” vacation are slowly going away. Little did I know we recieved an invite to a reception/party (no wedding) 12-13 hours away (same side as the family reunion.. MIL’s side). I’d go into specifics about how the party goes but I’ll cut it short and tell you that it’s the “bring your own beer” style. Everyone is going... yep, the phone calls are coming in not only about the reunion but the party also....better be there.

 

So instead of taking our girls to a nice lodge and waterpark that we both promised them, we must cancel the plans that we had with them and we will be leaving with the kids on a Friday and it’s undecided on how long we’ll be staying. I’ll let you know when we talk to my MIL and FIL.

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You promised your children a fun adventure and now you have to cancel it to go to a boring old family reunion?

 

I think you need to stick to plans you've already made despite what the Mommy-Dearest-in-Law thinks.

 

Family is important, but so is keeping a promise to your children.

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I think that you should keep your promise to your children. You don't say how old they are, but I presume they're at an age where birthdays are oh so incredibly important so best give them some great memories to look back on. Can you not make a separate visit to the inlaws another time to make up for missing the party?

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You are prioritizing your MIL and FIL above your kids. Ever think of it that way? Your KIDS should come first. You, your wife and your in law need to remember that.

 

F them. Do what's best for your kids and keep the promises that you made them.

 

Oh and grow some balls.

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I think that you should keep your promise to your children. You don't say how old they are, but I presume they're at an age where birthdays are oh so incredibly important so best give them some great memories to look back on. Can you not make a separate visit to the inlaws another time to make up for missing the party?

 

Ages 6 and 3 so yeah the "B-day party vacation" has been swept away. Now I have to be the one to tell them the news.

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You promised your children a fun adventure and now you have to cancel it to go to a boring old family reunion?

 

I think you need to stick to plans you've already made despite what the Mommy-Dearest-in-Law thinks.

 

Family is important, but so is keeping a promise to your children.

 

Just so we're on the same track, there's two separate occassions.... a reception and a reunion about a month and a half apart.

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Either way, If you and your wife made a promise to your kids, then keep it.

 

If MIL asks "Sorry, we'd love to go if I had unlimited vacation time, but I don't so our promise to the kids comes first"

 

Don't do it on the phone, invite them to your house for coffee, and let the kids tell them all about the lodge you are going to. Then tell them, while they are sitting in your home, that you simply cannot come to either the reunion or the reception. Make sure your wife is in the room, and they are told by the two of you. Seem genuinely regretful, but remain firm. No one gets everything they want. Including you, and including your in-laws.

 

They keep calling because, up to now, it has worked.

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Either way, If you and your wife made a promise to your kids, then keep it.

 

If MIL asks "Sorry, we'd love to go if I had unlimited vacation time, but I don't so our promise to the kids comes first"

 

Don't do it on the phone, invite them to your house for coffee, and let the kids tell them all about the lodge you are going to. Then tell them, while they are sitting in your home, that you simply cannot come to either the reunion or the reception. Make sure your wife is in the room, and they are told by the two of you. Seem genuinely regretful, but remain firm. No one gets everything they want. Including you, and including your in-laws.

 

They keep calling because, up to now, it has worked.

 

This is excellent advice.

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