Did I break up, or am I having a break down?

[hexaemeron]

So... I've posted on here about my relationship troubles over the years. This weekend, after a few days of really heated fighting, I tried to put my fist through my closet door (sorta) and I realized I just didn't have to be angry if I didn't want to be, so I broke up with my boyfriend.

 

I then proceeded to go to a tanning salon where I inadvertantly crisped myself, dyed my hair bleach blonde, etc, in the span of 36 hours.

 

My boyfriend is not a bad person by any means. I think he and I have problems with being in relationships that are completely different from the other. I think we also misunderstand each other's intentions a lot. Now, add to the mix that I'm an aspie and he's hardcore ADHD, and it gets to a new level of difficult.

 

With all the stress I've been under, I went to see a doctor, at the urging of my ex?-bf. My blood pressure was not at all good. I was at rest, I hardly drink, I don't smoke and I exercise often. I'm going for bloodwork to see if there's anything more going on.

 

I'm honestly really concerned that a lot of the stress I have from my familial situation (written about here ad nauseum) is contributing to stress I have in my relationship. Not to say he doesn't add stress to my life or things from his side of the relationship are often an unfair burden, because they are.

 

He thinks, and our MFT think that seeing my family implode as they have is causing me to bring about similar things in my own relationships.

 

I don't know what to think, or believe now. I do care for my bf, but when I walked out of that house after breaking up, I felt nothing but relief. Was that just in-the-moment-empowerment, or was I really, truly relieved?

 

It's all so confusing.

[Catdancer]

Step away from the bf/ex for a week. Step away from the family for a week. Take the time to figure out if being single makes you happy. Take the time to separate yourself from your family. The only person you can control in this world, is yourself. That's become my new personal motto and I have to remind myself of it constantly throughout the day.

[hexaemeron]

Step away from the bf/ex for a week. Step away from the family for a week. Take the time to figure out if being single makes you happy. Take the time to separate yourself from your family. The only person you can control in this world, is yourself. That's become my new personal motto and I have to remind myself of it constantly throughout the day.

 

Thanks, Catdancer. I'm headed back to Europe next week for a month, so I'll definitely have the time I need. It's just been a very strange few days.

[Catdancer]

Just dont make any decisions too quickly. And try not to think of the break up and your family for a while. I sometimes think too much. And it drives me crazy. I have to step away and find a way to turn my thinking to something else. Then I can come back to my issues and think more logically. Go to Europe, ogle the cute boys. Have a fling. Enjoy being a hot, hard hunk and running amok in a country of gorgrous men. Let your mind take a break from the heavy thinking for a while.

[annie24]

i think it might be good for you to get away from it all for a few weeks. i disagree that going and having a hookup is the way to go, but rather, get some quiet calm away from all the situations and see if you can get a clearer head about things.

 

i wonder if the high blood pressure is related to all the stress you have been going under. while you are there, try to find some time to relax. sit by a nice river, go to a yoga lesson, get a massage.

[Miss Firecracker]

Sorry you burned yourself, Hex. Are you blistered?

[hexaemeron]

Sorry you burned yourself, Hex. Are you blistered?

 

I'm just really, really red. lol. It'll fade nicely.

[jengh]

It sounds like the breakdowns I have. When things just get to be too much, I lose it and do something drastic (or thingS)... take some time to chill out, give it a week with your (ex?) boyfriend. I know you two really care a lot about each other and the time apart might make you realize how much you care for one another. As for the blood pressure, I'm willing to bet it's due to stress. I was at the doctor a couple of weeks ago and have been under mega stress lately and it was 150/100... it's usually 90/60-100/70 range.

[I_Speak_Jive]

Too much, too on-ongoing, too little rest, too little perspective.

 

Europe heals all wounds. You'll see. In my experience, nothing solves my problems like taking some substantial "me" time.

 

You and your bf have serious issues as a couple, but also have so much invested in each other. You do not need to decide anything now. Take a holiday. Let him take a holiday too. An emotional holiday.

[I_Speak_Jive]

And pay some SERIOUS attention to Berlin because it's awesome.