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My nightmare is my reality!!!


bbrker58

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I lay awke for hours before i even get the feeling of relaxation. My heart races 24 hours a day. I stay to myself because everyone scares me. The one person thats scares me the most is my self. I scare me the most out of anyone. I cant control myself. I hurt myself. Just like the people that hurt me do.

When I finally fall asleep, I sleep. I mean I sleep great. Until the point in every dream I have.....its in every dream. Im laying on the floor in a ball, crying, can't breath. I have a gun in my left hand. I lift it to my chin. I don't pull the trigger thow. I stop crying and open my eyes.....When i open my eyes i see my bed room. I feel the cold steel to my chin, and it makes me feel like I want to puke. I lay there in bed, wondering whats going to happen whem the dream pulls that trigger. If by some chance it will take me back 4 years ago, and ill be done with, or if when i wake up and im sitting on the floor again really crying, with a real gun again, if when that happen, i wonder if thats the dream and what im dreaming is the truth in me. The truth that holds me back from my life, from the truth.

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Just because you dream something, that does not mean that what happens in the dream will ever happen in reality. A dream is just a collection of thoughts and I could think all sort of things and indeed I do, but what I dream of isn't reality.

 

Why are you worried about what happens in a dream? I have had dreams where in the dream I dreamt that I died, of course I am fine when I wake up. If you dream it, it does not follow at all that it will happen. You have choices and you have the power to choose what you do and do not do, regardless of any dream. A dream itself cannot hurt you.

 

You do seem to be saying that you are scared of this dream so I would say that you do have some anxiety - you are scared of this dream. Is it causing a big problem in your life? You seem to be saying that you do see someone (a counsellor), what does this person think, and have you mentioned it to them?

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