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My fiance recently told me that one of his oldest female friends has made a pass at him, more than once. I had met her a few times before and she seemed really nice, (very pretty and a medical student!). I was all set to get on really well with her, until i found out this - Now I HATE her! Whenever he goes out and i know she is going to be there it makes me really angry! I'm not selfish so have not let him know my feelings about her are this strong. To top it all off he expects me to go on a group holiday with her this summer- I dont even know how I will react when I see her (hopefully well). My fiance says- if we dont get on it would be a real problem, that i should just forget what she tried to do because- she is like a sister. I realise the situation now rests with me, and I dont want to punish him for being honest but I really dont think I can stop hating her. Think I'm being silly? X

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Did she make passes at him while you've been with him or when he was single? And was it fairly recently or a long time ago? If he was serious with you and she knew it, I would be pissed too because that's deliberately disrespecting and trying to sabotage your relationship. I would let him know that his friendship with her makes you uncomfortable. I'd say even by staying friends with her, he's disrespecting you too.

 

Think about if one of your guy friends did the same thing to you. Wouldn't it feel wrong to your fiance to continue hanging out with him?

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My question is, why tell you?

 

You wouldn't say "Oh xx has hit on me in the past. But she is like a sister and if you don't get on with her that will be a big problem for me."

 

It does not take half a brain to figure out that having that knowledge will make it hard to warm to someone.

 

Honesty is a good thing, but here I can't help but wonder if making you jealous was the main aim. (Especially when delivered with the message that you expressing jealousy/discomfort would be a bad thing.)

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