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GoneCrazy

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So i have finally accepted it, i really don't have any friends, the ones that i on facebook i haven't seen in years. I basically got 3 friends. One who i see weekly (best friend) another whos in school about 3hr+ drive and who haven't seen since jan. Another who calls me everyday. I like him, think hes a great friend but no need to call everyday nothing has happen in the last 24hrs that we have to talk about.

 

Growing up i never played sports, didn't have my first party till i was like 17/18, got my drivers lice years after everyone else, and the whole GF issue...yeahh, it aint pretty.

 

There is a town next over (1hr drive) that i always love going guess cause its not just that busy and the mall is bigger they actually have a mall. I tryed going in there and maybe talking to the girls and try to hit things off, instead i find myself doing laps and feeling like a creep I don't know how to socialize, i fear everything, always worry and stress out, aint happy about my looks, and when i think about this it puts me in a bad mood and it all falls from there.

 

There really is eff all to do in my town, and i stay away from the bar place it seems in this town everyone knows everyone, and you can always find yourself in trouble i've always stayed away and that has pushed me away from people.

 

So what can i do ? I i can't really leave this town since i'm not ready emotionaly, and my folks who run there own comapny need me. I'm so lost so any advice, stories, or post would be great thanks

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I have a similar sitaution. I have my best friend, who i see at least twice or three times throughout the week. Basically without her i'd be pretty stuffed. I have one other friend, who calls me occassionally, and i call him. We are always on the others mind when good or bad news needs to be told, but i haven't seen him in about a year.

 

I have people from work, but they aren't people i see outside of work, and same with my studies. I feel very alone alot of the time. And i too get very nervous in alot of social situations. I always tend to embarrass myself or look stupid, and besides i too am not happy with my looks so i figure why would anyone wanna talk to me anyway.

 

Funny thing is, i am SUCH a social person. I doubt people would notice when they meet me at first. I can talk to anyone, just as long as i know its for a limited time. Once i know we are gonna be stuck there for a while i panic. I'm terrified of awkward silences so i talk.. And talk.. And don't shut up.

 

Guys are a laugh a minute. None have stayed around for long. And if i think they will stay, i get myself out of the situation so i won't end up hurt. I go to clubs and bars occassionally, and i do have fun when i am with selected people who i have invited out so i don't feel quite so alone, but i never meet anyone.

 

My suggestions? Study and work have brought me people i can talk to at least, it helps with social situations. Finding an interest group. For many years i was part of a church, towards the end i realised that i couldn't believe in god, no matter how hard i tried, but i did meet alot of people through it. At the time i never had a weekend spare because i was always with my friends from church. And i still talk to them once in a blue mood. So it doesn't have to be sports, just something you find interesting.

 

Lastly, act confident, i do it and it does a world of good. When i am around people i never let anything look like its getting me down. I wear a smile on my face and i seem to be very approachable. So if you look happy, i honestly believe you will draw people too you, the problem is finding a place where this works.

 

I know i've kinda just rambled on, and probably haven't said anything you didn't know. But i wanted to comment, just so you know you aren't alone in feeling like that.

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To hear you can talk to people normally i have to met the same person(s) over and over again before i get comfortable to joke and always make small talk.

 

When i go to the mall i feel that i have to look like i'm gonna buy something that way i can talk to someone well the girls mainly, and normally i freaky out worry and so forth and i'm out the door. Or i gotta be in a super duper happy mood.

 

The last time i was at this one mall one of the girls kept looking at me now i'm not jumping the gun but i would think for most people it would give them some confidence to go up to a person. Not me tho everything negative has to go through my head and i CAN'T act confident people can just see through it

 

Thanks for your post.

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Hemi here is my tip from my past experience. When I go out purposely trying to meet someone it always fails. However whenever I go out with a friend or two and have an awesome time I give a some sort of vibe that gets the women's attention. I guess women can see you are having a good time and they can picture having that good time with you. They can read us, really! Stop worrying about whats going on around you and focus on having a good time. Take a glance here and there to see if any of the ladys are looking at you. If not move to the next hot spot.

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guynextdoor - The problem with the friends i really don't have many thats the part of the no social life. That said anytime i'm with a group of friends i basically don't say much and if i do no one listens or i just fly under the radar, also i always seem to find away to be miserable and unhappy.

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