Jump to content

Open Club  ·  76 members  ·  Free

Journals

Different Kind of Wonderful


einsteins_girl

Recommended Posts

During a recent discussion with my boyfriend, he said I need more friends because I talk ... a lot ... and it gets to be a bit much for him sometimes. Since finding more friends isn't easy, I decided maybe a journal would be a better idea, so here begins my journal. I hope to write in it a few times a week. I think it'll be good for me. My dream in life is to be a writer. Although I don't have time to focus on it right now, I miss writing. I hope this fills the void a little bit. I think it'll be nice to just write and think and get the talking out of my system.

 

I just finished my spring break from school. It was so nice to not have to worry about homework and papers and stress, stress, stress. I'm in graduate school - over halfway through - but it seems like it's taking an eternity. Spring break was blissful, and I'm having a very difficult time getting back in the stress, stress, stress mindset. I just want to relax and not think so much, but there's no avoiding it. School is back, and it's the final stretch of the semester, which means a lot of work in a short amount of time. There's so much to do in the next month or so that I don't even want to think about it right now.

 

I found out today that one of my older sisters is expecting her 2nd child. Very exciting. My younger sister is also expecting, and once both babies are born, I'll officially be an aunt 11 times over. Yes, 11. Whoa! So far, I'm the only one in the family who knows about my older sister's pregnancy, and I'm quite honored. I think she just needed someone to talk to though, who isn't her husband. She was telling me about how having children is so romanticized. That, while it certainly has its high points, it's a lot of work and anxiety and not what everyone wants you to think. I already knew this though. It's why I don't want to have children. I'm too selfish. I'd much rather be an aunt. With 11 nieces and nephews to enjoy, I really don't need my own. I get to witness their funny moments without having to wrestle them down for a nap. It's enough for me. (On a side note, why on earth isn't there a combined term for "nieces and nephews"? It would make life much easier!)

 

I drove on the highway today. It had been awhile. It felt weird going so fast after driving on the 30-35 mph roads so much lately. Even though I've driven to and from my sister's house several times, I somehow managed to take the wrong ramp going home - ended up going north instead of south. (Ugh.. duh, self!) Thankfully, I only panicked for a second before I thought it through and managed to quickly get going back the other direction. I don't know why I'm so hard on myself with the driving thing. I really always have been calm and collected when I need to be, no matter how many worst case scenarios I theorize in my head about driving. There was a ton of traffic though, which I did not enjoy. I was so grateful when I was back home without people tail-gating me and being their usual inconsiderate selves. I don't think I'll ever understand people who enjoy driving. I just don't. It's a necessity I'd happily give up, if I could.

 

It's occurring to me that I'm really boring today. LOL! A day without drama... feels so mundane compared to other days recently.

 

Tomorrow: work and homework. Sounds awesome, right? Oh, my glamorous life!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just a question... How can he say tha you talk a lot when you hardly see him?

 

Well, I also talk fast, so I can cram a lot into a small amount of time.

 

I think it's more that he isn't interested in some of the things I like to discuss, so he wishes I had more friends who shared my interests, so I could talk about them without boring him.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

What woman doesn't talk a lot?

 

The thing is though, when you are in a relationship, I think each should take an interest in the other persons interests or at least listen to them. You know all about my woes with the hockey malarky but I take an interest. I listen, ask him questions about it and go to watch him play a lot of the time.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's funny how as soon as I started this journal, my life became a whole lot less interesting. Maybe I should've done this a long time ago!

 

I hope I'm not jinxing it, but things with my boyfriend have been going much better recently. We had a long, emotional, and pointed conversation about everything a couple of weeks ago, and it seems to have made a difference. I have been trying to adjust how I deal with things, and I can tell that he's trying to make improvements too. Overall, we seem a lot happier with each other right now. There are still some issues that need to be worked out - but sometimes, I think it's better to discuss and then let things go for awhile. Over-analysis and over-discussion can be worse than no discussion.

 

Sadly, other than that, everything is b-o-r-i-n-g right now. Graduate school is the same, work is the same. I'm so dull that it's tragic. LOL! What a lame journal!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sometimes it's hard to be dating a pilot. Tonight, for example, I am working diligently on my assignment due tomorrow night, and I'm distracted and busy... but I just want a hug or a snuggle. A little physical affection to keep me going. To see his dimples or hear his laugh. It's nice having him around.

 

I wonder if people who get to see their significant others at night when they get home from work and on weekends know how lucky they are. I bet they take it for granted. Heck, even I take it for granted when he happens to be home for a long stretch. He loves his job, and I love that he loves his job, but I'm not going to lie... sometimes it would be nice to know that, when I get home, he'll be here, most nights at least.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sometimes it's hard to be dating a pilot. Tonight, for example, I am working diligently on my assignment due tomorrow night, and I'm distracted and busy... but I just want a hug or a snuggle. A little physical affection to keep me going. To see his dimples or hear his laugh. It's nice having him around.

 

I wonder if people who get to see their significant others at night when they get home from work and on weekends know how lucky they are. I bet they take it for granted. Heck, even I take it for granted when he happens to be home for a long stretch. He loves his job, and I love that he loves his job, but I'm not going to lie... sometimes it would be nice to know that, when I get home, he'll be here, most nights at least.

 

Does webcam help? (Asks the other chick beginning to date a pilot).

 

Btw I do the incorrect exit ramp thing too; my GPS generally says "take exit 35b" just when I am driving by 35a, so I will jump the gun and take 35a and end up going in the wrong direction.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Does webcam help? (Asks the other chick beginning to date a pilot).

 

Unfortunately, he rarely has internet access when he's away. He does call me frequently though to check in, which is nice and very appreciated. But we have bad luck with cell phone reception, and it's not quite the same. I'm getting more and more used to him being gone, but sometimes I still miss him.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just got back from a very low-key Easter with my sister, brother-in-law, ADORABLE niece, and my parents. It was so strange. I have a very large family, but most of them decided to hang out on their own this year. It was really weird having such a small, quiet gathering, but sometimes quiet is good and ultimately I didn't mind. Plus, I got to see my niece, which always brightens my day. I know I am biased, but she is the most adorable, amazing child. When I went to leave, she got such a sad, disappointed look on her face; it almost broke my heart. But I promised I'd see her soon, and she smiled and waved good-bye. Aww...

 

I was talking to my brother-in-law a little bit about my boyfriend and his endless quest to find a house. It was interesting because my brother-in-law hails from the same state as my boyfriend, so I felt like he might understand things better. As usual, he was completely baffled by what's going on. It's both funny and frustrating because, when I talk to people about the situation, they are always so confused and look to me like I must have some way to explain it, but I'm just as confused and lost by the whole thing as they are. On so many levels, what's going on just doesn't make sense. I wish I knew a way to explain it to them or to myself, but all I can ever come up with is that it's just how my boyfriend is and it's a dream he's holding onto tightly and refuses to let go. Sometimes it makes me feel better to hear other people's confusion because it makes me feel like I'm not so crazy being confused myself. But, at the same time, I would much rather that everything made sense, that I could understand the choices my boyfriend is making, and that I was at peace with them.

 

On a positive note, I took the correct ramp when I left my sister's house this time. Go me!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On so many levels, what's going on just doesn't make sense. I wish I knew a way to explain it to them or to myself, but all I can ever come up with is that it's just how my boyfriend is and it's a dream he's holding onto tightly and refuses to let go.

 

I was like this once about an academic job; I was hellbent on being a professor. I never sacrificed a relationship over it (largely because I never had one that I thought would last) but I can imagine having behaved exactly like your BF.

 

After a year of being a prof I got it out of my system, and would now relocate without a second thought. I don't know...maybe there is a tendency to lose oneself a little in relationships, and being stubborn about a particular thing is somehow like holding on to something of yourself?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

My boyfriend and I have had a wonderful week. I took the day off from work this past Wednesday, so we could do something fun because I've been too dragged down by my job and school and everything. My boss is actually the one who suggested it. "Take a day off. You need to do something fun for once." So we went and saw "How to Train Your Dragon," which was really, really good. He just loved it. He's very much into music, and he fell in love with the soundtrack and has been gushing about it ever since. It's really adorable when he gets so excited about something like that. Yesterday, we babysat for my niece, which was not hard at all because my sister and brother-in-law put her to bed before they left, so we basically just sat in their living room and cuddled and talked in the dark. It was really nice. Then, today, we went out for brunch and snuggled and took a nap together on the couch. I know it doesn't sound like much, but it was simple and wonderful.

 

He has a week of vacation from work right now though, so he headed down to his home-state for the week. He left mid-afternoon. I was so sad because we've had such a great few days together, but space is good too. I just wish I was better at being alone. The first day when he leaves, I always feel so melancholy. It improves after that, but I wish I could figure out how to not let the first day of absence get me down. I guess there's just a part of me that wishes he'd wanted to spend at least a portion of his vacation here, and another part that wishes I could've traveled with him for at least a few days, and maybe that's what makes me sad. A week is a long time, and then he'll probably get a trip for work and have to leave for a few extra days after that. -sigh-

 

But at least we had a few great days that I can hold in my mind until he gets back. Until then, I have a ton of homework to do as the end of the semester quickly approaches. I cannot wait for summer and freedom from homework. I'm honestly ecstatic at the thought. Sometimes I wonder why I ever decided to enroll in graduate school. I'm too old for all of these late nights!

 

It's a beautiful day here today though, and the sun is shining, and the birds are singing... so I'll just enjoy that as I crunch numbers for my research methods class. Sometimes, we just have to take what we can get.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...