How did you know?

[My3sStillRacing]

I know some people who say they've always known they were gay, realized it all of a sudden, or progressively started to just stop denying the truth (which sometimes, they didn't even realize they were doing).

 

I'm curious how all of you got to that point in your life. It might inspire others to get to that point too.

 

Please share your story.

[FathomFear]

For me, it was a rather slow process. I went through a long period of denial where I told myself that the reason why I wasn't attracted to women was because I "hadn't met the right one yet". I told myself this for years. If a friend or family member questioned me on the subject and ask why I had never dated, I just used this excuse and changed the subject as soon as possible.

 

Eventually, though, this mental chirade broke down. When I was 22, over a period of probably six months, I started connecting the dots and seriously considering the idea that I could be gay. I remember thinking about it and then telling myself, again, that I couldn't really be gay, that I just "admired" male bodies and couldn't see myself being in a relationship with a man. I tried and tried to rationalize this way but eventually this broke down. It got the point where I just couldn't escape the truth any longer--I was physically attracted to men and had no attraction to women.

 

So, it wasn't a lightswitch for me. I just got the point where I accepted the facts for what they were. I stopped trying to bend the facts and interpret them to get the outcome I wanted. Luckily gays and lesbians seem to be coming out earlier and earlier these days. Some don't even need to "come out" per se, as they accept it almost immediately just as their straight peers accepting their sexuality after puberty. Hopefully in 50-100 years from now "the closet" will be a vestige from more primitive times.

[1WayTicket2Norway]

well.. when I hit puberty at around 14/15 (i was a slow developer lol), I noticed that most of my sexual fantasies mainly involved men.. at first it wasn't a huge concern.. i thought it was just a phase. then as time progressed, i realised that i had no physical attraction towards women, which was rather distressing. Anyway.. long story short, by the time i turned 17, i was fully aware of the fact that i was 100% gay.

[lukeb]

I've just always known, I can't remember ever not knowing. I can remember being a kid and not interested in men in a sexual way, just as I am sure there are plenty of straight guys out there remembering when they weren't interested in women in a sexual way. That part may have happened gradually I can't remember a defining moment when I became interested in sex. I do think I was a late-bloomer in that department.

[ceez]

I guess I found out around 11 or 12. I was fine with it at first, I thought it was natural (which it is) and it just felt right, but my family is very religious and spoke out against homosexuality so I spent from Jr high up until my last year of high school trying to turn myself straight.

[nltsyc]

I knew I was attracted to men all the way back in highschool, but I denied it and lied to myself. So I put myself in a kind of stasis until just recently. I had very few dates because I wasn't into women, but I tried to play it off that I just had't found the right one. Anxiety built up until I had a good talk with myself and decided not to lie to myself anymore. Now I have come out to a few friends and am trying to break myself out of the stasis I was in for so many years.

[iBroken]

I started to wonder in uni. I had a crush on a friend but didnt find other chics good looking or hot. My friend was the only one I wanted to be with physically. I dated guys still and was attracted to them, so I kind of put it off to a crush.

 

A few years later, I found myself thinking of her and then I started to find other women attractive. I would see them in the street and would stare and would hope they would look back and check me out as I checked them out.

 

By then i was in a relationship with a sweet guy. So I left that relationship and started to explore. I put it off for as long as I could as I tried to talk myself out of the feelings. Like it was okay to find them attractive. But once I started to fantasize about being intimate with women, I left my relationship and that was that! I never looked back and I dont regret it for a second (even if the gay life has its ups and downs and drama lol)

[pamauz91]

I always had a feeling that I never fitted in with every other girls from year 6 onwards and would think 'liking' a guy was what girls were suppose to do, but never really felt it...

 

At about age 14, I started discovering and 'researching' (in secret lol) about same sex relationship and such because by then I was beginning to have a different point of view towards girls.

 

When I finally realized, overcoming my naivety, I was more comfortable with myself and with everyone around me.

[Kaytie]

I've always known. I hit puberty very early (9) and started 'dating' early since everything else was so damn early for me, lol. I was out at 13. For me it was never a process - it was just normal and natural to me. All my fantasies and crushes, etc. were all girls/women since as far back as I can remember.

[babii doll]

ive been 'confused' as my family would put it since i was 8. i remember having crushes on boys but also looking at girls at school too, which i knew then was 'different' but i didnt openly share these feelings with anyone in fear of being bashed by my peers.

 

i remember playing games at a neighbor girls house and i leaned in to kiss her which she didnt stop, further progressing into 'experimenting'

 

so i guess you can say ive known since i was a kid that i was attracted to men and women. i didnt openly come out until my senior year of highschool.

[Moonstar798]

I found out around 12 or 13 (last year)

Well, I could always tell, just never realize it (adolecence). I mean, I always hung out with the girls, never played in the mud, you know, never did the things most young boys do. Then, in 6th grade, when this new kid came to our school, I knew. Then I just started noticing all my friends were, well, hot. so it was a time thing, it took me a few months to realize it, then accept it. Now I'm happily out to all my friends, but not family.

[4ever2gether]

I started in high school when I found some of my teachers attractive. I kept thinking to myself like if I was only their age and if one of us were a guy. Then when I graduated I had my first long term relationship with a guy that I thought was hot. I guess I was just trying to do the “right thing” in others eyes. Then after being unhappy with my boyfriend for a long time, I found a “friend” at work that was so beautiful to me. She listened to me and understood me. She was married at the time. I started developing feelings for her. She was going through a divorce. I was always there for her as well. One day we went to TGIF and I remember sitting there talking to her at dinner and just thinking how I wish one of us were guys so that I can go out with her. Two weeks later we ended up on messenger chatting about how I would so go for a girl and she felt the same way and we met up and had our first kiss. We moved really fast but we knew each other for about 9 months before we dated. Now it’s been three years, I am out to some of my friends, but none of my family. It’s very hard being in the closet with some and not with others. But I am happy with her, so that’s all that counts!

[sweet_revenge]

I've known since i was little, i always liked guys, but i thought i would grow out of it when i got older, but i didn't. so of course being from a religious family i fought it for years trying to force myself to be attracted to women, when i only ever was really attracted to a few girls i met, and i really couldn't imagine being in a long-term relationship with a girl, i always knew that in the back of my mind i'd want to be with a man, not to mention the thought of having sex with a woman still freaks me out. so i didn't really accept it until about 2 and half years ago, now i'm dating a great guy and really couldn't be happier.