How should I approach this (staying friends/winning her back)

[Tangz]

Oh and one more thing. Was speaking with my mum today. She asked how ive been doing about this. Told her that all was well, haven't spoken to her or seen her much etc.

She then said 'I always said if I was to have a step-daughter she would be it'

 

Gee thanks for pointing how great she was mum!

[fr0z3n]

from what I see though Im not sure, it seems that your ex is still confused (have feelings to that guy, broke up with you but still dont want to lose you)... Lets see what will happen after that guy leaves and the next things will depend on your decisions and how you see the things that will happen...

 

Just like my situation, I dont even call myself that Im in NC... I just dont find any reasons to contact my ex or have a talk with my ex or see her because I already convinced myself that it will just make me feel like crap... Good thing she's not contacting me either...

[Tangz]

She texted me 2nite 'hey you up 2 much 2nite? you wanna catch up have a ciggie?'

 

I was busy so I said I was busy, maybe 2mrw night.

 

She then replied 'I got netball 2mrw! Its all good im just bored, gonna go c '

 

Is it good to blow them off? I had a valid reason, a reason she knows also.

[jinxremoving]

If it wasn't your ex you'd blow them off without a seconds thought. I think you know what to do...

[britomart]

Do you really need to blow her off? "Will be busy, have fun" might be enough...

[Tangz]

So had a pretty crazy weekend.

 

Friday night - went to town with some friends, had a big night. Saw a female (hot) friend of mine when we were on way home. My mates reckon she was all over me. She texts me saturday morning. Shifting focus from my ex to another girl helped as I found myself in a great mood on saturday and not even thinking about my ex. was texting this other girl for a while.

 

Anyway so roll on Saturday night and I get call from my friend saying they were going to town and If I was keen. I said yeah im keen to go but don't know if its such a great idea as my ex was going. So im at my friends flat drinking and my friends that were going to town (incl ex) came over to drink before we all went. Feelings come rushing back in!

My ex is looking really hot, im just like 'DAMN' the whole time. Why is it that you get so physically attracted to your ex post break up???

For the night while we were there I just acted like I didn't give a * * * * that she was there and didn't give her too much attention. We spoke and laughed togeather a few times and everything was sweet. she commented a couple times on how I was looking as ive been working out heaps.

I noticed that she started going a bit quiet thruout the night and she would look at me quite often. She found it hard to hold stare when we were talking to each other (myself as well). She looked really lonely thruout the night, she would sort of sit/stand by herself and become a bit quiet at times - really unusual for her especially if shes drinking. I could tell that my presense, and me just being myself was affecting her. I think i was 'one up' on her for the night. She was also saying how she just wants to sell her car so she can have more money to "f*ck off overseas" she said this in a way like she just wants to escape fthis situation we have.

Didn't want to give her too much attention but still talked to her, joked with her etc.

On the way into town we were sitting next to each other in the car, she rested her head on my shoulder for a few seconds. Was weird as shes really anti-affectionate post break up as she knows we can't move on if we get touchy touchy or whatever.

 

The whole time it wasn't awkward but we were kinda acting like two young people who 'like' each other before they start becoming a couple. Scared of embarrassing ourselves infront of the other person, joking around, not wanting to give each other too much attention or whatever.

Its pretty sad really, that we both still have feelings for each other and missing each other but we cant do anything about it lol. Its this stupid barrier between us, like two lovers who are just held apart. Anyway she probably sees it much different being the dumper. She knows why we are apart and is wants to stick with it.

 

So yeah we really shouldn't be seeing each other still, I have a feeling I wont hear from her in a while as she will want to get over me. Probably best that we just stay clear.

[Tangz]

So another crazy night last night. Had drinks at a friends, we all got very very wasted. Me and my ex got close, couple times we grabbed each others hands or got a bit touchy. Eventually ended up on my friends bed holding and hugging each other very tightly (in a drunken state) I kissed her forehead. She told me she missed me so much, I told her (stupidly) i love her so much. We both even shed a couple tears, and this is while all our friends are in the same room!! Was a very emotional moment so to speak lol.

 

So yeah not too sure what to think about that. I mean we were both very drunk at the time.

[jinxremoving]

Alcohol is just a total game-ruiner. I wouldn't read anything into what happened. (Speaking as someone who ended up getting completely ruined last night and almost having sex with my ex). Doing something completely ridiculous can actually make you see things clearer in the morning but in most cases it just confuses the issues. But I do think, there's always an element of truth behind things exchanged when you're wasted - they're just not necessarily rational or well-thought out! Just don't let it headf*** you too much, pretend it never happened and get on with things as normal.

[Ms Darcy]

So another crazy night last night. Had drinks at a friends, we all got very very wasted. Me and my ex got close, couple times we grabbed each others hands or got a bit touchy. Eventually ended up on my friends bed holding and hugging each other very tightly (in a drunken state) I kissed her forehead. She told me she missed me so much, I told her (stupidly) i love her so much. We both even shed a couple tears, and this is while all our friends are in the same room!! Was a very emotional moment so to speak lol.

 

So yeah not too sure what to think about that. I mean we were both very drunk at the time.

 

It sounds like you are helping each other heal and move on from the relationship.

[Tangz]

Thanks for the replies. I started another thread about what happened as Im not too sure how to proceed. But yeah, we were drunk so it holds the moment back a bit as it prob wouldn't of happened if we were sober.

 

Ms Darcy, what do you entirely mean by that? I think I get what your trying to say...

[Tangz]

Okay so saw her last night while we were all out (drinking). Went a bit pear shaped at the end (asked her if she wanted to come back to mine ,she said not a good idea then after that 'sorry not 2nite eh') so im deciding to just leave this "thing" that's going on and just move forward. I cant say that im going no contact as we share the same friends more that im gonna keep clear and ignore contact - until she at least comes cleans with what she wants out of this. Im not gonna play this game by her rules.

Its morning now so wondering if she will contact me today about last night. I sorta annouced that 'im out' last night before bed but as we were drunk she might just blow of it thinking it was the drink talking as her response was 'it hasn't got stupid your thinking about it way to much'. I will annouce it again should she contact me about it.

 

Ahh feel pretty * * * * today, was scared of this happening after last week and our talk on Tuesday but im glad its happened one week into this and I haven't been strung down the line