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How should I look at this?


Wanderer7

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1st contact- one day after breakup i begged through a text.

 

2nd contact- four days after break up i made an excuse to text her about a textbook

 

3rd contact- five days after break up we talked in person for "closure". it really had no point. i felt no different after the talk. I realized that the dust hadn't settled yet and didn't take anything she said to heart. She wanted to stay friends and gave me a "friend hug". This is when i wanted to start NC.

 

4th contact?- six days after break up we accidentally bumped into each other walking to the gym. no real conversation, just small talk and continued with our business.

 

5th contact- 26/27 days after break up, realized i left her thinking we were still friends. Deleted her facebook, met up with her to tell her we couldn't be friends, it's to help me heal and move on. I was really mature and polite about it, wished her the best of luck. She was upset at first, then took it and wanted to move on. Her room mate is telling me that she can tell my ex is starting to miss me and that the new guy is really nothing special.

 

To this day, it's been 38 days, five and a half weeks since she left me for another guy. Was a friend with him for about a month, started dating him a week after she broke up with me. I'm pretty sure her feelings for me were swept under a rug within a matter of days, as much as she denies it. We had a really good relationship for about two years-- real, deep, committed relationship, all that stuff.

 

What would be considered my length of NC so far? Would it be since our "closure talk" or when I told her that I couldn't be friends? Since the third contact we had, I haven't behaved as a friend to her at all. she doesn't contact me (although the block call I received did stir some thoughts). I've read many posts and believe me, I'm working on myself strictly for myself. I've lost 10 pounds, drink less, lift/run more, study harder, make more friends. I've been doing better and I'm proud of the improvements I've made on myself, physically and mentally, but I have my moments. Like now, for instance.

 

I've been reading the popular reverse psychology thread. I intend on keeping NC. l'm moving on, but a part of me is using a bit of hope to get me through my days. Hope that she will be back after she realizes that the grass isn't greener. I assume it'd be soon, because of the pace she's going with this new guy. I know some of you will say move on because she hasn't bothered to get in touch. But after reading some threads, is she thinking about me just as much? I've put a lot of thought into the situation. I feel like i screwed up my chances. For some reason, it hurts even more today.

 

 

The whole story is called "My Story: GIGS? advice?". Warning: It's a novel. That's why I decided to make a thread to better summarize it.

 

 

 

 

Reassurance? Is there hope for me at all? :sad:

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