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Confused. Please help!


cheng

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Hi. Im currently in a not so official relationship with a guy. If you guys know what I mean. But we're getting along fine and God knows how much I've tried to resist falling in love with him. But well, I didn't succeed. He doesn't want any commitment because of some reasons, sure as hell I don't know. He doesn't have a gf either. Anyways, we've been together for like 3 mos now. There were times that we decided that we should stop what we're doing because it's actually not right. But we always found ourselves going back to each other. For some strange reason, we're so compatible when it comes to sex. We are totally enjoying every moment of it. Maybe that's one of the reason why we can't stop. I used to cry at night cause hey I'm inlove with him and he can't commit. But I just realized that life is too short to live like that. So I'll just go with the flow and just cross the bridge when I get there. Now, there's this one guy who is actually saying that he totally likes me. He is asking me out on a date and I rejected him many times but he is still trying. Do you think I can give him a chance? Cause I'm totally inlove with the first guy I'm talking about. I don't want to be unfair to the other guy. But my friends are telling me that it would be more unfair if I didn't give that guy a chance. Fyi guys, I don't find this guy attractive.. I don't know.. and for me, well, physical attraction is kinda' important. Do you think I can give it a try? Many thanks. Ü

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Regardless of whether it works out with the first guy or not, it doesn't sound like you have any interest for the second guy. It merely seems like you're interested in the fact that he's so interested in you and that's it. So the second guy, I don't think you should go for him.

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Regardless of whether it works out with the first guy or not, it doesn't sound like you have any interest for the second guy. It merely seems like you're interested in the fact that he's so interested in you and that's it. So the second guy, I don't think you should go for him.

 

You think so? But what if after we went out on a date and then I found out that he's interesting or whatsoever. I might like him. It seems that he's nice and he is sweet. So what are you suggesting? Stop texting with the second guy and just totally ignore him?

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In my opinion, I think there should be at least some initial attraction if you want to consider someone for dating. But it doesn't seem that you have that for this second dude. In favor of avoiding leading him on, I'd recommend not talking to him.

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Hi Cheng,

 

I'd advise that, whatever you do with the first guy, you don't get close to the second. You don't like him like that, you're intimately involved with someone else... What's to gain?

 

And you might ask your friends why it's "unfair" not to give him a chance? No-one has the "right" to try with anyone, and if you're not physically attracted to him (that's unlikely to change) and that's something that's important to you, you'd be setting both of you up for a fall.

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