I forgot what it was like to feel alone!

[huntress_0513]

I just recently broke up with my fiance. I know it was the right thing to do. Had I followed through and married him, I know I would not have been completely happy.

So now I'm completely lonely. He was my everything. He was my best friend, my lover and companion. I think about him every second of every day. I know I'm in complete denial that we are finished for good. This has been the worst break up of my life. I need advice. I need to vent. I need to just let out everything and try to heal. I've been trying to focus on all his bad qualities so I can try not to miss him as much. But those few good qualities and memories of him keep sneaking in and kicking me in the chest. I can't even sleep properly at night knowing he's not beside me....

Please, words of advice. I know, "time heals all wounds". I wish I could fast forward my life so I won't feel so bad.

[bungalo]

I know I would not have been completely happy.

So now I'm completely lonely. He was my everything. He was my best friend, my lover and companion. I think about him every second of every day. I know I'm in complete denial that we are finished for good. This has been the worst break up of my life. I need advice

 

You seem really conflicted. Your partner will NEVER make you completely happy. They can be a great addition, complement to your life..but unless YOU are happy with You...no one can MAKE you happy but YOU.

 

Why did you break up? If he, as you say was your bf/lover and companion and you think about him every second of the day...! ???? Why the helll

did you dump him? What about couples counseling if you have issues that you didn't bring up? I don't get it...(I notice your screen name Huntress...does this mean you are hunting for someone better?)

[medtec]

i agree-no one can make you happy. you have to make yourself happy first.

 

you can find happiness now! dig deep into yourself and ask yourself what you want to accomplish and how you want to grow as a person.

 

if you dumped him...did he do something not forgivable?

 

just think about it and make sure that you are totally over him for a valid reason before you try to move on.

[True_Love]

It is easy to give advice and not easy to take your own advice, so I am going to post something I read today about the 11 Steps somewhere about getting over a break up that inspired me somewhat, maybe it will inspire you too or maybe ou will think it is silly..

 

Visualize what you want.

Remember you deserve it.

Discover yourself!!

Forget about the past AND the future and live for now!

Seek the positiive in everyone you meet and look for the good in all people then you will give out positive energy.

It is not about them, it is about YOU.

Feel the love and create need in others - kindness, generosity and loving.

It's not about wanting love.

Believe in success of yourself.

Take care of yourself and try always to look your best, then you will feel your best.

Forget about Maybe.

Always strive to do your best, go the extra mile and set goals and go for it.

[petite]

Every break-up is hard and you need to take baby steps now, I'm sure he was a big part of your life. You haven't really said why you ended it, what happened?

[Alstott Fan]

Why did you break up? If he, as you say was your bf/lover and companion and you think about him every second of the day...! ???? Why the helll

did you dump him? What about couples counseling if you have issues that you didn't bring up? I don't get it...(I notice your screen name Huntress...does this mean you are hunting for someone better?)

 

Yeah, I'm a little confused by that as well. If someone is my best friend and lover how would I be unhappy being married top them?

 

 

[Brownstone322]

You seem really conflicted. Your partner will NEVER make you completely happy. They can be a great addition, complement to your life..but unless YOU are happy with You...no one can MAKE you happy but YOU.

That caught my eye too. There's no such thing as "completely happy." The best we can hope for, from all experiences and relationships, is a "net positive," meaning "the goods times outweigh the bad."

 

If she holds out for "complete happiness," she's likely to end up old, alone and disillusioned.