lonelyandblue Posted March 27, 2010 Share Posted March 27, 2010 So I've been seeing this guy off and on for a year things were going well again and we got in an argument because I want more and he said he isn't ready (does that mean no or not yet)? So he said if I was going to pressure him then no. Also, the reason he says he wanted more time to make up his mind is I have had a problem where when I get confused or upset I text him way too much. He wanted to see if I would commit to not doing this which has been unsuccessful so far. I am just annoyed because I told him so what if texting doesn't go well, in person we get along great??? Thoughts or ideas??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted March 27, 2010 Share Posted March 27, 2010 you know, if he isn't ready after a year, i would move on. i don't know what your relationship goals are, but i would leave this guy alone and move on and start dating others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doesitmatter30 Posted March 27, 2010 Share Posted March 27, 2010 Everytime I hear "not ready" I think it's over. Also I think Texting is death to relationships. It leaves out so much. IMO Other than small lil things, if you text instead of call, there's a problem. I'd so much rather hear a voice than read plain text. What's better, hearing I love you whispered in your ear, or in text message form? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted March 27, 2010 Share Posted March 27, 2010 ^^^ i think even worse is when people argue or things are taken out of context. or someone thinks that person is being 'distant' or 'cold' over the text. it is just so hard to read emotions or sarcasm over a text. i agree that 'i'm not ready' - especially after a year of dating, is not a good sign. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaptainNapalm Posted March 27, 2010 Share Posted March 27, 2010 You're suffocating him and he wants to convince himself that you have self control before he commits to you into something serious and long-term. My advice to you is stop suffocating him with all these texts and he should commit. He is probably under the impression that if you're already suffocating him so much with all this texting, it will get ten times worse when he commits. Show him that he can have some space and that you can control your urges and things should work out. If you don't he's a gonner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted March 27, 2010 Share Posted March 27, 2010 I agree. in cases like these, you have to give him 5 times the space he is asking for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nutbrownhare Posted March 27, 2010 Share Posted March 27, 2010 I agree. in cases like these, you have to give him 5 times the space he is asking for. Like the kind of space he will have once you've started dating someone else ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
minou Posted March 31, 2010 Share Posted March 31, 2010 I would get really annoyed at constant texts. There is life outside the relationship. It's the only way to have a healthy one. you need other ways to deal with your anxiety. Why don't you look up self-hypnosis, learn some progressive muscle relaxation techniques, and stop projecting your anxiety into the relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G-Snap Posted March 31, 2010 Share Posted March 31, 2010 You're suffocating him and he wants to convince himself that you have self control before he commits to you into something serious and long-term. My advice to you is stop suffocating him with all these texts and he should commit. He is probably under the impression that if you're already suffocating him so much with all this texting, it will get ten times worse when he commits. Show him that he can have some space and that you can control your urges and things should work out. If you don't he's a gonner. Awesome advice. He is probably becoming more and more aloof and detached the more you press upon him when he needs space. It might not be that he isnt into you, he might just be turned off by a clinger when he needs his space. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andromeda99 Posted March 31, 2010 Share Posted March 31, 2010 Also, the reason he says he wanted more time to make up his mind is I have had a problem where when I get confused or upset I text him way too much. He wanted to see if I would commit to not doing this which has been unsuccessful so far. Stop texting him so much, especially if he has specifically asked you not to. If you continue to be "unsuccessful" with it then basically you're sending an unspoken message that you're addicted to texting him and can't control your addiction. I know a lot of people like to text but I think it is over-rated... try giving him some space. You know they say absence makes the heart grow fonder. See if he doesn't come running back to spend more time with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charis1978 Posted April 4, 2010 Share Posted April 4, 2010 you sound insecure about the relationship (when I get confused or upset I text him way too much) What is confusing you? upsetting you or making you feel this way? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyandblue Posted April 17, 2010 Author Share Posted April 17, 2010 This is great advice and you are correct, thank you. My insecurities I think are within myself. My last bf was very emotionally abusive and I haven't fully recouparated I think and obviously, I have some things to work on!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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