He told me he hates me today

[jbrooklyn]

wow! I am still trying to accept this conversation we had. he was so mad. he called me names and said he hates me. We belong to the same group circle and he started bring another chick around and I thought it was disrespectful and he acted like he didnt care. Then he blew up and started cussing saying he dont give a fk, he can do whatever he wants...he was so hard on me. I was so shocked. then he said to never call him. I said okay.

 

I have always taken the high road with him when he has hurt me time and time again. I cant always let him walk all over me. I feel so strange to hear a man say he hates you when he is the one hurting me with his actions. I just dont know what feel. Any advice

 

what to do when he hates you?

[DontGetStung]

Who he's seeing and who he brings her around is not your concern. Sounds like he went a bit overboard, but you really don't have a right to address his new interest with him. If you can't handle it, avoid him, but you have no right to tell him what to do. He was tactless and I'm sure it hurt, but he's his own person and shouldn't have to hide his new interest from his friends.

[jbrooklyn]

Who he's seeing and who he brings her around is not your concern. Sounds like he went a bit overboard, but you really don't have a right to address his new interest with him. If you can't handle it, avoid him, but you have no right to tell him what to do. He was tactless and I'm sure it hurt, but he's his own person and shouldn't have to hide his new interest from his friends.

 

yeah I guess you are right. he made that crystal clear and was very very harsh about it. I just felt like I would put him thru that, why would he do it to me. I didnt know i was wrong. What should I expect from here?

[LoveSoDeep]

When I guy acts like this it's pretty obvious that either doesn't care if you hate him or he actually wants you to hate him.

 

Sometimes it's a blessing in disguise...it may help you move on faster.

[Seraphim]

I think when someone hates you it is best to move on. There is nothing to be gained there and no self respect to be gained in begging for respect and consideration for someone who does not give a fig. Find someone who DOES care.

[jbrooklyn]

When I guy acts like this it's pretty obvious that either doesn't care if you hate him or he actually wants you to hate him.

 

Sometimes it's a blessing in disguise...it may help you move on faster.

 

I feel so weird. To hear someone say I hate you and call you a btch for something like that? You would think I slapped his mom or something. I just dont understand the anger and name calling. I didnt know I was so wrong

[jbrooklyn]

Who he's seeing and who he brings her around is not your concern. Sounds like he went a bit overboard, but you really don't have a right to address his new interest with him. If you can't handle it, avoid him, but you have no right to tell him what to do. He was tactless and I'm sure it hurt, but he's his own person and shouldn't have to hide his new interest from his friends.

 

I guess I really miss the boat here. I didnt realize I was doing something so terrible to deserve to be treated like that. I didnt know I was so wrong and I shouldnt have brought this to him. Im really sorry

[jbrooklyn]

wow!! I didnt realize I was in the wrong. Im really sorry

[Ac143]

Yup you definitely had no right telling him not to bring a new girl around HIS friends too, he is an adult & can make those decisions himself. Its not like he will never bring a girl around because his ex doesn't want him to lol. If you can't handle it, just dont hang out with those people when he is around with her. Anyway, he definitely wasn't tactful though & I think its best you move on.

[jbrooklyn]

Yup you definitely had no right telling him not to bring a new girl around HIS friends too, he is an adult & can make those decisions himself. Its not like he will never bring a girl around because his ex doesn't want him to lol. If you can't handle it, just dont hang out with those people when he is around with her. Anyway, he definitely wasn't tactful though & I think its best you move on.

 

well I learnd something today. It is not just his friends, it is our friends but still I did the wrong thing. I didnt know i was making a mistake but now it is too late. It is a hard lesson but I have to accept it now. Nothing more to do. Do you think he really really hates me?

[Ac143]

well I learnd something today. It is not just his friends, it is our friends but still I did the wrong thing. I didnt know i was making a mistake but now it is too late. It is a hard lesson but I have to accept it now. Nothing more to do. Do you think he really really hates me?

 

I know its not just his friends that's why I said "his friends too"

 

anyway - you just posted yesterday that you asked him not to bring her around & he said OK...did you ask him that AGAIN today?? & then this is when this converstation took place?

 

I'm not sure if he REALLY hates you, he could have said it out of anger, but still he is with someone else, its time to let go of him.

[Seraphim]

well I learnd something today. It is not just his friends, it is our friends but still I did the wrong thing. I didnt know i was making a mistake but now it is too late. It is a hard lesson but I have to accept it now. Nothing more to do. Do you think he really really hates me?

 

I do not think it really matters. One of the hardest things in life we will ever learn is that not everyone wants to be our friend and they do not have to either. It is harsh to say but it is true. Not every ex wants to be a buddy after and they do not have to be. It is so much more productive to find people who care about you than to run after people who do not give a crap.

[jbrooklyn]

I know its not just his friends that's why I said "his friends too"

 

anyway - you just posted yesterday that you asked him not to bring her around & he said OK...did you ask him that AGAIN today?? & then this is when this converstation took place?

 

I'm not sure if he REALLY hates you, he could have said it out of anger, but still he is with someone else, its time to let go of him.

 

Yeah but you made me realize that I was wrong. he said exactly what you said. I cant fix it though. Its nothing I can do. he doesnt want anything to do with me. he called me all kinds of names and was very very angry. I hope one day I get to apologize but I not going to go around or do anything else now. It just too late I think. He cant stand me now. my bad

[OntheWire]

You don't need to understand or figure out who's right or wrong. Just move on.

[jbrooklyn]

I know its not just his friends that's why I said "his friends too"

 

anyway - you just posted yesterday that you asked him not to bring her around & he said OK...did you ask him that AGAIN today?? & then this is when this converstation took place?

 

I'm not sure if he REALLY hates you, he could have said it out of anger, but still he is with someone else, its time to let go of him.

 

Thank you Ac143! I didnt realize I was wrong.

[vertigoxo]

While he was very harsh and immature with you, you are still in the wrong here. I mean, not being mean here, but you honestly can't control him anymore; He's not your boyfriend, he's some other girl's man. If you think he's harsh, you're gonna hate it if his new girl finds out and wants to chew you out for being the jealous ex girlfriend. Girls are extremely harsh, more so than guys.

 

I suggest you either hang out with your mutual friends when he isn't around, or find another group of new friends who don't know him. Your choice. As for him hating you... He's probably very very angry at you. But he probably dislikes you as a person. I'm sorry... You should move on and find another good guy.

[jbrooklyn]

While he was very harsh and immature with you, you are still in the wrong here. I mean, not being mean here, but you honestly can't control him anymore; He's not your boyfriend, he's some other girl's man. If you think he's harsh, you're gonna hate it if his new girl finds out and wants to chew you out for being the jealous ex girlfriend. Girls are extremely harsh, more so than guys.

 

I suggest you either hang out with your mutual friends when he isn't around, or find another group of new friends who don't know him. Your choice. As for him hating you... He's probably very very angry at you. But he probably dislikes you as a person. I'm sorry... You should move on and find another good guy.

 

Yeah, I didnt know I was being immature and acting unfair. I really really didnt. I am going to find new friends and carry this lesson with me. Maybe one day I will get a chance to ask for forgiveness. I now know that aint right

[jbrooklyn]

You don't need to understand or figure out who's right or wrong. Just move on.

 

Well actually I do cause I cant go around treating people like that. I thought he was wrong when really I was out of line

[vertigoxo]

Yeah, I didnt know I was being immature and acting unfair. I really really didnt. I am going to find new friends and carry this lesson with me. Maybe one day I will get a chance to ask for forgiveness. I now know that aint right

 

Good plan. Break ups are never easy, I'm with you there. Someday, when all the dust settles and all the high emotions have cooled down, then maybe you two can be friends again. But in the meantime, just go No Contact and try to move on for your own sakes.

 

*hugs*

[jbrooklyn]

Good plan. Break ups are never easy, I'm with you there. Someday, when all the dust settles and all the high emotions have cooled down, then maybe you two can be friends again. But in the meantime, just go No Contact and try to move on for your own sakes.

 

*hugs*

 

 

Yes, that's correct. man this hurts. We were once again opening back up to each other again. I always always always screw up with this guy. It never ever fails. like clock work

[vertigoxo]

Yes, that's correct. man this hurts. We were once again opening back up to each other again. I always always always screw up with this guy. It never ever fails. like clock work

 

How long has it been since you two have broken up? Because while everyone heals at their own pace (some faster, some slower), the general consensus is that a break up that happened under a year will usually hurt for a while. After that, you slowly start to naturally move on.

 

Happened to me. It's been a little over a year and while I do still somewhat hurt, I can still function normally everyday and I have hope.

[Ac143]

Yeah but you made me realize that I was wrong. he said exactly what you said. I cant fix it though. Its nothing I can do. he doesnt want anything to do with me. he called me all kinds of names and was very very angry. I hope one day I get to apologize but I not going to go around or do anything else now. It just too late I think. He cant stand me now. my bad

 

Well yeah there is nothing you can do about it now, glad you realized it was a mistake, but he also didn't have the right to call you all those names.

 

Either way - its done now, probably best to just move on & maybe one day you guys can talk again as true friends without the drama.

[quirky]

I detect you feeling extremely apologetic...what's with that?

I seem to recall you and your ex were in an on/off situation. These situations are addictive. You need to move away from him completely. Complete NC. Trust me. Do not be afraid. Look at the facts of the today, he's with someone else. I know this hurts, it's not just you that messes things up it simply doesn't work. Stop blaming yourself or needing to prove yourself to him. Just because this relationship didn't work out doesn't mean you are worthless. Remove yourself from the situation and deal with the fact that you are now single.. (hug)

[jbrooklyn]

Well yeah there is nothing you can do about it now, glad you realized it was a mistake, but he also didn't have the right to call you all those names.

 

Either way - its done now, probably best to just move on & maybe one day you guys can talk again as true friends without the drama.

 

maybe so i guess

[jbrooklyn]

I detect you feeling extremely apologetic...what's with that?

I seem to recall you and your ex were in an on/off situation. These situations are addictive. You need to move away from him completely. Complete NC. Trust me. Do not be afraid. Look at the facts of the today, he's with someone else. I know this hurts, it's not just you that messes things up it simply doesn't work. Stop blaming yourself or needing to prove yourself to him. Just because this relationship didn't work out doesn't mean you are worthless. Remove yourself from the situation and deal with the fact that you are now single.. (hug)

 

i dont feel worthless. I just dont like that I do things that I assume I should know better about doing...like this situation. some mistakes are very costly. But it has been up and down for a long time and its just time go on with my own life. Im okay being single..3 weeks ago I go new boobs...36D!! lots of fun fun fun