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Name change, would you do it?


pinkelephant

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If you were in my situation, would you go through with it?

 

 

Here's my list of pro's and con's.

Pro's

1. I hate my dad. It's not an irrational, teenage filled angst hatred. I genuinely have thought this through and just don't want to have any tie to that man. He feels a certain entitlement to me and it disgusts me. I think having my last name changed from his to my mom's would send a perfect message, not only to him but for myself. It's symbolic.

2. My first name is borderline impossible for people who are not from my ethnic background to pronounce. However, I love it. It's so "me". It sounds beautiful, until people butcher to it pieces. It might be petty, but it annoys me. A lot. I was thinking about making it into my middle name, so people have less chances to butcher it over and over and over again.

 

Con's

1. My name is unique and my mom has put a lot of thoughts into it. I kind of feel like I'm betraying myself or a part of myself by having this name change.

2. The name change that encompasses all the necessities my 'english' name (cannot be changed, i've been going by this name since i was 10), my given first name and my mom's last name ends up becoming a very vanilla name. I feel like it lost that "umpphh factor" that makes me, me.

3. Last but not least, north americans have it so that their full name is written/said in the order of "first name middle name last name". Asians have it backward. My name doesn't sound good backward!!!

 

These reasons might or might not sound petty. Let me know if you think they are. Let me know what you think as well. I'm so divided!

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I changed my name when I got married. Just my last name. But it's a MAJOR pain in the rear from a practical standpoint.

 

I suppose if you had no financial accounts (bank accounts, investment accounts, loans, credit cards) and no utilities (water, gas, electric, phone) and tax accounts (irs, state, city) and service provider accounts (doctors, dentists, hospitals, accountants, etc) in your name, it'd be easier.

 

But changing all those things was a royal pain in the butt. Every time I thought I'd gotten it all taken care of something else came up. It was just easier to drag my marriage license around with me for the better part of a year as my proof that my name had legally changed.

 

I have no input on your reasons for wanting to change your name. It's a highly personal decision. But I'm guessing in pondering that you may not have given much thought to the practical aspects of a legal name change.

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Oh, yeah, and despite my best efforts there are still some databases that have me listed under my maiden name. I still occaisionally get mail or telemarketing calls asking for my maiden name.

 

8th wedding anniversary is this coming July. That oughta give you some idea how persistent one's former name can be.

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If your name causes you this much agony then I would change it.

But remember that it is a very permanent decision, so do not do anything too crazy.

If you like your name then that is all that matters. And I think that the whole situation with your father makes the change justifiable. you seem to have severe issues with him.

good luck!

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Do not change your name out of spite. If you don't like your dad - fine - but you could change your mind about him later in life - or what about other relatives - do you like them? Don't forget, your name is a part of you. You can decide that it is "your" name and he happens to have the same name.

 

Also - if you love your first name - why change it? When people get to know you - they know how to pronounce it. A name like yours is a good way to tell if a telemarketer or a real acquaintance/ friend is calling you, btw! If it is changed because OTHERS can pronounce it better, you are giving your power away to strangers. Who cares if they don't know how to pronounce it. As long as it doesn't mean a swear or dirty word in another language or is humiliating in that regard, I would be who you are.

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The thing is you are not your dad. Your name is not your dad. And yes the practicalities and the money needed to change a name are a nightmare not to mention leaving and entering the country when your name is messed up because whatever agency did not get the memo.

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