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need advice on whether to go to friend's party


bluelava1

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i'm unsure as to whether or not this is the right section to post this (some friends are involved though) but here's the issue: two friends (a couple) invited me to her bday party tomorrow night at a bar in a less savory part of town. i am extremely wary of walking around that area alone at night (1: i have been attacked before; 2: i am a very vulnerable looking young woman (i've been told that many times- i'm 29 yet look 17) and have no physical strength and little quick wit; 3: there is no parking right outside the bar, you have to walk a ways). so i clearly do not want to be walking around that part of town alone late at night.

 

so of course going there alone is iffy. the reason i'm asking advice is because 1) i had to turn down another invitation from these same people for something else very recently and i don't want to seem like i'm avoiding them or something; 2) i do not have many friends in town and do not get the chance to go out socially as much as i'd like so any invitation such as this is a welcome one; 3)my one other close friend in the area *might* be going (don't know for sure). i could theoretically ask her to come by to my place first and we could go together. i'm just worried that that person will think it's unreasonable or something and give me the "grow up and be independent already" response, even though it really has nothing to with independence, lack thereof or anything in between, it has to do with personal safety (maybe being more worried about it than some other people but it's for good reason) and it's not like i burden people all the time with stuff like this.

 

what should i do?

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You have every right to be concerned about your safety, it would definitely be wise to see if you can have your friend or someone close go with you. And if not, can you ask your friends to see if they know someone that can walk home with you? After all it is a valid concern, I'm sure they will understand if you decide not to go.

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i'm just worried that that person will think it's unreasonable or something and give me the "grow up and be independent already" response,

 

what should i do?

 

What kind of friend would say something like that when you express concern over your own safety?

 

If you can't afford to take a taxi - even from your car parked a little way away, then politely decline to go. Althernatively, get yourself a big and burley - and trustworthy - male friend to accompany you...

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