Is women without kids is a rarity?

[annie24]

I have and there's really not much to choose from. I mean really not much at all. The little thats left over are normally the type where if you aren't perfect enough they will not respond to your emails.

 

however, you are asking for women that, by your standards, do not comprise a large part of the population. so why would you expect 100% of the women you contact to want to be with you? chances are only a percentage would be interested in dating you as well. it's a numbers game.

 

the good news is that you are only looking for one woman, if she is the right one.

[annie24]

But does it screen out those with kids? I ask because years ago I did Match, specified I wanted a never married guy without kids and the majority who contacted me had kids. That's another reason I gave up on online dating.

 

Match also has a box for 'no kids' now.

 

ultimately, people lie. that's true no matter where you meet them. i did my very best to post a truthful and accurate profile of myself. i think many people do, but some don't. if you find out they lied, ditch them!

[MD Geist]

MG makes it sound like girls are just popping out kids by 20.

 

Thats because most are from what I've experienced. Some girls I have met are like 23-26 and have already 3 sometimes even 4 kids. I would really like to find this large pool of women without kids you keep on thinking is out there cause id certainly want to go there.

 

however, you are asking for women that, by your standards, do not comprise a large part of the population. so why would you expect 100% of the women you contact to want to be with you? chances are only a percentage would be interested in dating you as well. it's a numbers game.

 

the good news is that you are only looking for one woman, if she is the right one.

 

I think the Men to women ratio isn't in my favor either cause the last time I checked there's more men online than women, with POF it was like 15 guys to 1 girl. Women have the luxury to pick and choose, if you aren't perfect they will not date you or give you the chance. Men are on the take what you can get side of it. Unfornately the women who get less attention are the single mothers typically and would be more opened to dating anyone they can get.

 

I'm glad I'm not looking for multiple or need that amount cause id probably give up and commit suicide. Trying to find just one is impossible and is becoming more of a pipe dream with each passing day.

 

And of those 1/5th, most are on dating sites. It's way, way, way easier to meet women without kids in real life than online. If she looks like someone that'd have an easy time getting a guy outside of online dating and she's using it anyways, she has a kid. I'd say 7/10 times that rule of thumb is accurate.

 

 

Your right on that. Most of the women I find on these sites just got divorced and have children.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Thats because most are from what I've experienced. Some girls I have met are like 23-26 and have already 3 sometimes even 4 kids.

 

I can assure you that;s it's probably just the area. Very, very few of my friends have kids.

[newwave]

Match also has a box for 'no kids' now.

 

ultimately, people lie. that's true no matter where you meet them. i did my very best to post a truthful and accurate profile of myself. i think many people do, but some don't. if you find out they lied, ditch them!

 

I wish they had that option when I was on Match. I felt bad telling the guys (the majority who contacted me) that I didn't want to date dads. I know I tried Yahoo personals too, said I wanted single guys without kids and only dads contacted me too. Of course I once met a guy on Match who claimed to be never married no kids, and in fact was both.

[Salicia]

Yeah, I'm very happy that I have a boyfriend!

 

As to the 20-30 year old women with no kids, lack of serious relationships and being a virgin, I doubt that this pool of women is really large especially in the age that we're living in but I can say that it does exsist considering that I'm part of that demographic.

[annie24]

I think the Men to women ratio isn't in my favor either cause the last time I checked there's more men online than women, with POF it was like 15 guys to 1 girl. Women have the luxury to pick and choose, if you aren't perfect they will not date you or give you the chance. Men are on the take what you can get side of it. Unfornately the women who get less attention are the single mothers typically and would be more opened to dating anyone they can get.

 

I don't know the numbers, but I think you might be right that there are more men than women. However, you are 'picking and choosing' yourself when you decide who to send emails to and who not to, right? I assume you are picking the young, slim, pretty, childless women, right? You're not writing to 100% of the women between 21 and 30, right? didn't think so. so, you have picked and choose, they pick and choose too.

 

I don't know what you look like, but my advice would be to improve yourself in as many ways as possible. including going to the gym, gaining or losing weight if you need to, and maybe getting some new clothes that look nice, trendy, but not trying too hard. If your teeth are bad, get them fixed.

[Fudgie]

I think there are quite a few women out there without kid. Depends on where you look, sometime it's a rarity, other times it's not.

 

I'm a childFREE, infertile young female with no children in my future. I can't have them physically, don't want them, and I don't believe I can handle adoption. I look for guys who not only don't have kids, but don't want any. It's SO hard.

 

I've taken to dating older men. My current boyfriend has stepkids but they are in their 30s and long out of the house, busy with their own lives. He's divorced and lives alone and at his age, he doesn't want kids. I was very lucky to find him.

[MD Geist]

I don't know the numbers, but I think you might be right that there are more men than women. However, you are 'picking and choosing' yourself when you decide who to send emails to and who not to, right? I assume you are picking the young, slim, pretty, childless women, right? You're not writing to 100% of the women between 21 and 30, right? didn't think so. so, you have picked and choose, they pick and choose too.

 

Not really.

 

I actually tend to go with the curvy or slightly overweight type of women. Thats my preference and I feel more compatable with them because my own frame. Sometimes these younger, slim, pretty petite women will show interest in me though.

 

I also look from ages 23-45, I'm just not a fan of women younger than me i'm looking for someone as old if not a little older than me not because I'm looking for a suger momma but I connect with older women. I really never had the chance to be a child growing up I sort of had to grow up to soon.

 

 

I don't know what you look like, but my advice would be to improve yourself in as many ways as possible. including going to the gym, gaining or losing weight if you need to, and maybe getting some new clothes that look nice, trendy, but not trying too hard. If your teeth are bad, get them fixed.

 

I'm trying to lose weight as much as possible but its not easy I can run from here to denver and back everyday I won't lose anything but I try my best. I'm dieting and going out for hour long walks each morning before work.

 

As far as clothing goes I can work my style, i'm not the typical jeans and t-shirt guy I actually take the time in my appearance. My teeth are in decent shape not great but good enough.

 

I'm currently studying for an up and coming test and I'm reading self help books on a day to day basis. I really don't know what else to do.

[MD Geist]

If there is anything I've learned and that is there's a lot of single fathers out there as well however there's also a serious doublestandard like what the hell is the big turn on about a man taking care of his child?

 

Yet

 

A woman who's single with kids there's a problem and an issue.

 

I've seen a few girls lately take shots with single dads lately and its soooooooooooooo awesomely great!. !?!? Again its things like this that gives me such a tainted view on women.](*,)

 

They won't date someone who's fresh but instead they will date someone does not have it together and yet I'm not good enough for them.

 

I really do not understand why a single girl with no kids will date a guy with kids. I don't understand it.

[annie24]

yeah, single fathers SHOULD be taking care of their children! I agree, so many times you don't see that when you do so a single father who is owning up to his responsibilities, he is praised.

 

Have you made some progress on the appearance issues? I've recently started going back to my personal trainer, have you tried that? could be good to get a workout going and some advice on nutrition.

[Sports Fan]

It's pretty common where I am. I regularly see women that are around 30 that haven't married and don't have kids.

[Cognitive_Canine]

If there is anything I've learned and that is there's a lot of single fathers out there as well however there's also a serious doublestandard like what the hell is the big turn on about a man taking care of his child?

 

Yet

 

A woman who's single with kids there's a problem and an issue.

 

I've seen a few girls lately take shots with single dads lately and its soooooooooooooo awesomely great!. !?!? Again its things like this that gives me such a tainted view on women.](*,)

 

They won't date someone who's fresh but instead they will date someone does not have it together and yet I'm not good enough for them.

I really do not understand why a single girl with no kids will date a guy with kids. I don't understand it.

 

First of all, no one is 'fresh'. If someone has literally had a no issues, care-free life, that's a turn off. I've had a very rough life and I need someone who can relate. Not someone who has no idea how to deal with issues and gives me empty "I understand".

 

And, if a person is taking care of their child, I constitute that as "having their life together". It isn't like as soon as you are divorced, and with a kid, that you are broken.

[Fudgie]

Yeah I agree with CC, having a kid/being divorced doesn't mean you're "damaged goods" exactly.

 

I personally wouldn't date a guy with kids (living in the house) because I'm not into kids, but just because he has them doesn't mean he's messed up.

 

This is when a guy w/ kids is messed up and doesn't have his stuff together:

 

1) He has problems paying child support and doesn't see his kids often at all, despite them living close by and he's allowed to see them.

 

2) He has a drama-filled, volatile relationship with the mother. People who get divorced don't have to be bffs afterwards, but if there's constant fighting, sneering, and manipulation going on when they cross paths to spend time with the kids, that's a definite no-no.

[Stay_home]

Single mothers need love too.

 

I would date a single mother, that is if she's a good mother to her child and doesn't come with too much baggage; I can deal with a little bit. Every 'single mother' scenario is not the same. What about widows? Or what about single mothers where the father isn't on the scene. I think you have to take each situation differently, that is, they can't all be measured on the same grain. Taking into account the child, the child will always be more important than the relationship and you would have to be able to accept that going into it. It's not a total deal breaker for me, but like I said, the sista better have her act together.

[MD Geist]

 

1) He has problems paying child support and doesn't see his kids often at all, despite them living close by and he's allowed to see them.

 

2) He has a drama-filled, volatile relationship with the mother. People who get divorced don't have to be bffs afterwards, but if there's constant fighting, sneering, and manipulation going on when they cross paths to spend time with the kids, that's a definite no-no.

 

 

 

I'm sorry but thats usually what its all about.

 

Regardless there is going to be drama in the relationship. There's going to be issues that need to be delt with. Then the approval of the kids is another topic.

 

Single mothers need love too.

 

I would date a single mother, that is if she's a good mother to her child and doesn't come with too much baggage; I can deal with a little bit. Every 'single mother' scenario is not the same. What about widows? Or what about single mothers where the father isn't on the scene. I think you have to take each situation differently, that is, they can't all be measured on the same grain. Taking into account the child, the child will always be more important than the relationship and you would have to be able to accept that going into it. It's not a total deal breaker for me, but like I said, the sista better have her act together.

 

 

Well I can't. I still couldn't date a single mother regardless if she has 1 child or 5 children. Thats to much baggage in my book you have to put up with if your planning to do the right thing

many say its not a big deal but the fact is child raising is because if something goes bad your not just hurting 1 person but 2 people especially that child. What about Widows I can understand their situation a bit better, same with women who where married and the guy turns into a complete section 8 many years down the road

 

My thing is she's never going to love me as much as her child or even as much as her babys father at some point. Thats just how it is, its a conditional relationship because if the child doesn't approve of me or something guess who guess cut?.... me! it makes things more difficult for me. Its a relationship thats best suted for some and if in the future if I cannot have children on my own because of a medical condition then ill be more opened to dating a single mother especially if the possiblity of me having kids is 1 and a trillion. But as a young man who's striving to be successful in life and I'm working on these goals and dreams the last thing I need is a woman with a liablity. Its extra time, extra expenense on my part because I'm obvously not going to be just another guy in the picture. I rebuke the idea to the fullest because of how conditional the relationship would be.

 

She needs love. Some single mothers did get a bad one but I'm telling you a lot of them could have made a better choice before hand with the man they choose. I don't want to be that guy that comes along 10 years down the road to take care of her children when 10 years earlier she wouldn't have given me the time of day.

[savignon]

... but I'm telling you a lot of them could have made a better choice before hand with the man they choose. I don't want to be that guy that comes along 10 years down the road to take care of her children when 10 years earlier she wouldn't have given me the time of day

 

I understand why you don't want to date single mothers and you certainly don't have to and nobody is going to try and get you to change your criteria. That being said, it's a strong statement to say these women could have "made a better choice"...most women don't regret their children no matter what the end of the relationship brought and most single women don't want to date a guy who will resent or resent being a co-parent to her children. So, it seems both you and single mothers can find a better match. At 23, I think you'll find what you're looking for. Just don't diss single moms or their "bad choices" on your dates incase one of them was raised by a damn good one!

[MD Geist]

I rebuke the idea all together of being in a relationship with one. Thats all.

 

It bothers me how that the popluation is growing around me and it seems very acceptable despite how it effects their quality of life its like people still choose to live that way.

[savignon]

I rebuke the idea all together of being in a relationship with one. Thats all.

 

It bothers me how that the popluation is growing around me and it seems very acceptable despite how it effects their quality of life its like people still choose to live that way.

 

It has always been "acceptable" that the population is growing and people have been having children since the dawn of civilization. It does not mean that their quality of life is diminished because they had a child and perhaps a bad relationship. That doesn't have to be your choice AND you don't have to judge others for their choices. Just find the happiness in your choices and try not to focus on the whole "the world is going to hell in a handbasket" outlook. You'll find your match and it won't matter what anyone else is doing because you'll be happy enough with your own life that you only think it's unfortunate that some other people aren't happy with theirs. There won't be the same judgement involved because it just won't be important to you what other people are doing with their lives.

[luxy]

in NYC it's EXTREMELY rare for people in their 20's to have kids. especially early 20's, that's kind of looked down upon over here. i don't know anyone my age who's even in good enough financial standing to afford kids...

 

so come to NYC if you need to meet women without kids. i think in both the east and west coast people in their 20's tend not to settle down till much later.

[savignon]

There's another thread going about how having kids is unnecesarily overpopulating the world and I think the poster is about your age....hmmm....could be a match made in heaven!!

[Fudgie]

I'm sorry but thats usually what its all about.

 

Regardless there is going to be drama in the relationship. There's going to be issues that need to be delt with. Then the approval of the kids is another topic.

 

There doesn't have to be drama. 2 divorced adults can still have cordial relations for the benefit of their children. They will still need to communicate about the kids but they don't have to be rude and dramatic about it.

 

Then again, I only 2 divorced couples who genuinely do not have drama.

 

I don't blame you for not wanting someone with kids. I wouldn't either, personally.

[MD Geist]

There doesn't have to be drama. 2 divorced adults can still have cordial relations for the benefit of their children. They will still need to communicate about the kids but they don't have to be rude and dramatic about it.

 

Then again, I only 2 divorced couples who genuinely do not have drama.

 

I don't blame you for not wanting someone with kids. I wouldn't either, personally.

 

There's going to be some type of Drama in a relationship like that especially if the childs father is still around as most single mothers say to guys like me "My kids already have a father, i'm not looking for a replacement" That means the guy is still in the picture. He's not going to be happy that someone else who's a positive figure is interacting with his children, also what if the kids act up around you?

 

There will be times when she's not going to have a babysitter so either your gonna have to pay or else not go out on a date. There's zero spontaneity potential. Its hard to develop a bond with that woman when her kids come first and apart of her past is still in the picture. Its also hard to believe that there will be no conflict between you and the child's father at some point there will be a confrontation between the two of you.

 

 

in NYC it's EXTREMELY rare for people in their 20's to have kids. especially early 20's, that's kind of looked down upon over here. i don't know anyone my age who's even in good enough financial standing to afford kids...

 

so come to NYC if you need to meet women without kids. i think in both the east and west coast people in their 20's tend not to settle down till much later.

 

Trust me Id love to go to NYC or Cal to find me a nice woman to bring back home with me from one of those places. I may have to end up doing that.

[Sports Fan]

The other thread went to 28(?) pages and this one is on 10. I feel I should smack myself for contributing. You've gotten some wonderful advice, but it goes in one ear and out the other.

[Fudgie]

I personally haven't met too many women who have the father still involved...maybe they share custody of the kids but that's it, it's not like they actively parent TOGETHER, they do it at separate times when they each have their time with their kids. If I were a guy open to dating women w/ kids, I wouldn't get involved with a woman who was still REALLY involved with the father. That's just asking for trouble.

 

I think it's best when the father is out of the picture, so the guy can be a good father figure (instead of having the kids go in between each man) and not have to worry about confrontation.

 

You're totally right about the spontaneity too.