Is women without kids is a rarity?

[jul-els]

When I was in your age bracket, meeting women without kids was the norm. 20 years later, it's a rare thing to find.

[ibu]

I'm almost 28 and I don't have kids. And I don't want them...ever. So yeah, there are still those of us around. But my friends are either all already pregnant of thinking about kids so I'm really alone in this.

[newwave]

I'm almost 28 and I don't have kids. And I don't want them...ever. So yeah, there are still those of us around. But my friends are either all already pregnant of thinking about kids so I'm really alone in this.

 

When I was 28 I didn't want kids, but luckily many of my friends didn't either. However, now at 39 I changed my mind, and I'm sure there are others like this.

[MD Geist]

Sure many men want to marry a virgin, but most of these are probably virgins themselves. If this is so important, maybe join a church group. I have a male friend who was a virgin and wanted one himself (he also wanted a stay at home wife, and many other things). He ended up finding one through a church group (he was 33 when they married and she was 24).

 

However, this is rare. Even most very religious guys I met weren't virgins. There is a difference between being a non virgin and being a non virgin without kids. I am a non virgin, but have never been pregnant.

 

 

You know the funny thing is aside from the military this city is a very large christian based community. We have a very large church out here (Which I'm also apart of and serve in) I would think that it would be easy to find a mrs right there and instead I often find myself running into the same thing that I do when I'm out and about.

 

They are either in a relationship or they were recently divorced. Then the ones who are single set their expectations so high they end up dating the military guys(Mainly the Airforce cadets) is what typically happens or the guys who get stationed out here. Or they end up dating men who are signifgantly older because they are doing so much better financally than someone like me who's still building assets.

 

More than likely I will not meet a virgin. I've even complitated the idea of just having a one night stand just to have experience under my belt but that will be a farce if discovered.

 

 

MD, if you're not willing to put yourself out there for the possibility of real, vulnerablity and scrutiny... how will you ever find someone to love?

 

What if the love of your life DOES have children? Or isn't a virgin. Your fear will prevent you from finding her. Don't let that happen to yourself. You seem like a really great, if kinda misguided dude.

 

I gave up when I kept getting the same results and outcomes.

 

I will not date a woman with children like honestly many people have told me this and I just will not want to date someone who has a child. If I was opened to the idea i wouldn't be posting this thread.

 

Trust me I think I could have been in love manytimes by now but then the things I need to do in life to be successful and accomplish would never get done.

 

Being with a non-virgin is something I can look past. My only concern is will she be receptive to being with a virgin? Will it bother her that I'm a virgin? That she's going to have to "Teach" and lead the way. Thats an unknown answer that only she could answer Neither one of us will ever know.

 

However having a child in the relationship means other things, other issues in which I do not wish to deal with.

[annie24]

MD geist - i don't blame you for not wanting to date a woman with children. most 23 year old guys aren't into that. however, if you are on the singles market when you are 33 or 43, you might want to change your tune. well, it depends. as shes2smart says, your standards are your standards, and you are the only one who has to live with your choices. you don't need our opinions.

[MD Geist]

Being near an army base, you probably have met women who are widowed and have a child. When she is single, of course her child is a priority - but I have met women who remarry and once married they become a family. The child is in the role of the child NOT in the role of spouse.

 

Overtime she is going to expect me to be the step father for her child if things get serious. Naturally it will happen over a period of time unless you do not plan on being serious.

 

I'm almost 28 and I don't have kids. And I don't want them...ever. So yeah, there are still those of us around. But my friends are either all already pregnant of thinking about kids so I'm really alone in this.

 

When I read posts like your coming from the opposite sex I always think jezz where are women like you, The Tinu's and Ammy's of my community?. They seem to be great women with a bad market of men, I think if only I could find these women in life I would be set!.

 

MD geist - i don't blame you for not wanting to date a woman with children. most 23 year old guys aren't into that. however, if you are on the singles market when you are 33 or 43, you might want to change your tune.

 

 

Things will change when I'm in my 30's I'm more than sure. By then I will be more successful, be more opened to dating someone with children because things will be so much more different. If children is something I want by that time then sure but as a young man who's striving to be successful bearing a woman and her baby could put a strain on my future.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Honestly, I don't blame you at all for being 23 and not wanting a woman with a child.

[MD Geist]

When I was in your age bracket, meeting women without kids was the norm. 20 years later, it's a rare thing to find.

 

I wish I could trade my generation for yours.

 

I often find myself trying to date women in their 30's because a lot of 20's are out there making bad choices at an early age. Not to mention they are very immature.

 

Back then life was suteable for dating today its almost like you have to except someone with kids or else don't date.

[G-Snap]

I don't want to date guys with small kids either, but for different reasons as you (just don't want to have the responsibility, its a choice I make and I am ok with it making my dating pool smaller). There is nothing wrong with your choice, just realize it makes your options a bit smaller.

 

I know MANY women from the age of 20 to 50 w/out kids, so this isn't impossible. It will be MORE impossible, or 'implausible' even, to only date virgins. Good luck with that one mate! They exist, but your dating pool just became really slimmer.

[jul-els]

I wish I could trade my generation for yours.

 

I often find myself trying to date women in their 30's because a lot of 20's are out there making bad choices at an early age. Not to mention they are very immature.

 

Back then life was suteable for dating today its almost like you have to except someone with kids or else don't date.

 

I didn't realize that. Is this true? If so, I feel for ya. Kinda takes some of the fun out of it. There's gotta be a lot more for you now than when you get a little bit older though, trust me. In my age group, they're virtually non existant.

 

As far as the worrying about losing your virginity thing goes, don't sweat it. Just don't tell her. I didn't. Everything went off without a hitch.

[newwave]

I wish I could trade my generation for yours.

 

I often find myself trying to date women in their 30's because a lot of 20's are out there making bad choices at an early age. Not to mention they are very immature.

 

Back then life was suteable for dating today its almost like you have to except someone with kids or else don't date.

 

It's because society has made single parents acceptable. I think it's wrong and we need to go back to the idea of shotgun weddings or better yet abstaining.

[MD Geist]

It's because society has made single parents acceptable. I think it's wrong and we need to go back to the idea of shotgun weddings or better yet abstaining.

 

Yeah I would say so.

 

I hate this F-ed up MTV generation where everybody wants to have the twilight relationship but ends up on maury.

[newwave]

Yeah I would say so.

 

I hate this F-ed up MTV generation where everybody wants to have the twilight relationship but ends up on maury.

 

I do too. Society glamorizes teen pregnancy and it's immoral. I am proudly old fashioned because having a baby without being married, and able to support it is the proper way. Otherwise? Immoral.

[MD Geist]

Its the whole thing where sex sells and look at what it has done to our society. We really need to get back to basics!.

 

Only good guys like me are the ones who suffer!. And of course the tax payers.

[G-Snap]

How about we forego shotgun weddings and instead our message be safe sex?

 

Forcing someone to get married because a baby is involved isn't the answer. It leads to unhappy parents, and unhappy parents do not make good parents.

[annie24]

How about we forego shotgun weddings and instead our message be safe sex?

 

Forcing someone to get married because a baby is involved isn't the answer. It leads to unhappy parents, and unhappy parents do not make good parents.

 

exactly! and maybe stop some of this ridiculous "abstinence only" education in schools. teach kids how to really not get pregnant!

[In the Dark]

Well.....you tell a kid not to do something they are going to do it.

 

I was one.

 

Plus hormones at that time are going I WANT SEX!

 

So yeah teaching them how not to get pregnant is by far the better answer.

 

Not leaving them to ask stupid questions like "Can you use period blood for blood transfusions?" -_-''

[MD Geist]

How about we forego shotgun weddings and instead our message be safe sex?

 

Forcing someone to get married because a baby is involved isn't the answer. It leads to unhappy parents, and unhappy parents do not make good parents.

 

 

Life made more sense now than it does today as a result.

 

I say screw the 20 something who makes bad choices and expects me to come along and be there to clean it all up. Give me the sexy 30 or 40 year old with some common sense and wisdom!.

[Cognitive_Canine]

exactly! and maybe stop some of this ridiculous "abstinence only" education in schools. teach kids how to really not get pregnant!

 

As someone who was brought up in an abstinence only school environment, I couldn't agree more!

 

I am so LUCKY that I had responsible and level headed friends to teach me about sex, relationships, and protection. Really, I owe a lot to my best friend. She explained a lot to naive little me during high school. Her and her boyfriend from FRESHMEN year are still happily together. I wish they'd have kids though but they seem set on not wanting them. We NEED more people like them in this world.

[abitbroken]

Life made more sense now than it does today as a result.

 

I say screw the 20 something who makes bad choices and expects me to come along and be there to clean it all up. Give me the sexy 30 or 40 year old with some common sense and wisdom!.

 

You aren't there to "clean their life up." Some gals who have a kid and had a guy that didn't stick around are not expecting you to come save them, believe it or not. If you are deadset on wanting a virgin no kids, why not try an online dating site with those criteria and see you you might come up with in a 20 mile radius.

[MD Geist]

You aren't there to "clean their life up." Some gals who have a kid and had a guy that didn't stick around are not expecting you to come save them, believe it or not. If you are deadset on wanting a virgin no kids, why not try an online dating site with those criteria and see you you might come up with in a 20 mile radius.

 

Tried online dating many ages ago.

 

I just want a woman with no kids. thats hard to find.:sad:

[annie24]

Tried online dating many ages ago.

 

I just want a woman with no kids. thats hard to find.

 

I think you might have better luck with online dating if you try again.

 

why do you think all women have kids? i'm looking down at my uterus half expecting a baby to drop out!

[dragon lady]

MD, I don't think there is anything wrong with having a laundry list with clear cut deal breakers. I had one myself when I was single. The thing is, you seem to be incredibily fixated on losing your virginity and getting a girlfriend. You make threads about these topics on a regular basis. It does not sound like you are happy being single and maybe your standards are getting in the way of meeting someone to share your life with.

 

The difference between us is that I was perfectly happy remaining single until I met the person who fit my criteria. I think that you either need to accept the fact that it may take years to meet your perfect woman (if you ever do) or if you don't want to wait until that time then maybe you should settle for a relatively inexperienced non-virgin. Otherwise you are going to remain unhappy and you are going to continue to obsess over this.

[EQIQ]

Tried online dating many ages ago.

 

I just want a woman with no kids. thats hard to find.

 

Have you tried looking at churches? (Sorry for the stereotype that I am about to blurt out), not Catholic churches, because from what I have observed 5 hail Mary's will forgive just about anything, so yeah.. not there.

 

But like some hard core religious groups? I am pretty sure you would be able to find a girl that took her religion serious enough to still be a virgin even after being 20.. 25.. 30. I surely have met them.

 

The problem would be if you are willing to commit to the religion yourself,... kinda of a package deal lol. Unless you want to "miss-lead" the girl and take her out of it lol... I dunno just my 2 cents.

 

I am saying this because in my religion I meet virgins older than 20 ALL the time. We are pretty serious and wait for marriage (well most do.... those who don't usually get.. kicked out... so to speak..).

[itsallgrand]

I think you might have better luck with online dating if you try again.

 

why do you think all women have kids? i'm looking down at my uterus half expecting a baby to drop out!

 

Mahaha! LOL.