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New relationship advice?


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I posted about being in a new relationship, my first one, a few days ago and about how the thought made me panicky. It was suggested to me that I'm not emotionally mature enough if I was having doubts, but I feel like I've gotten past that. I was just scared I think. I really like the guy, and I was worried because I don't see this as a forever thing, I can't help being cynical. And when you don't see it as potentially being a forever thing it makes me question the point of trying. But I decided, right now we both care about each other and I can take this day by day.

I haven't seen him since Saturday morning, and I won't see him until Friday night. We talk every day online and through texts. We both go to the same university but we're so busy with class and homework and such, it's hard to make time for each other during the week. I'd like to see him but don't have the time, and I'm really okay with seeing him on weekends only. I thought that was okay, but one of my best friends finds it odd we only see each other once a week. And he texted me tonight saying he wished we were hanging out since he hasn't seen me all week.

Is it bad that I'm okay either way? I feel like taking it slow is okay. Or should I be more into this and more upset about not having time together this week? He also lives two hours away from me, so come May, we won't get to see each other at all I think. Maybe that's why I'm holding back. I care about him but there's something wrong here, I don't really understand.

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what are you holding back on?

 

I'm not sure... this all just feels so different for me. I've never been someone's girlfriend before, I feel like I have to make time for him. And I was crazy about him before we officially got together, but now that he's mine I feel trapped. I feel horrible saying this but it's the truth. We're going to be two hours apart in about a month for four months so I don't know how we'll get through that, which makes me wonder if there's any point in trying. And I've been suffering depression on and off for years- lately I've been feeling crappy so maybe that's why I feel like such a robot, just going along with everything. None of this is really his fault at all. I feel like I want to tell him I'm afraid of committing/getting too serious right now, but then again that's mean. We've known each other two months and have been close all this time, and I do care about him. I don't even understand myself.

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