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No more sex life? help


yort234

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So I have been dating my girlfriend for over 4 years, we've had a wonderful relationship without many fights. We're 23 now and have plans to move in together and start a life, possibly get married once I am done with grad school. For the first 3 years we had a really great sex life, sex at least 3-4 times a week and a very physical relationship, everything was perfect. Since about September 2009 we started having sex less and less, now we haven't for about 3 months even though we basically live together. I have a lot of stress in my life between work and school and its getting to a point where my self esteem is in the gutter and I'm not happy anymore. She says its a personal issue, that she doesn't feel attractive anymore (even though she is perfectly thin, hasn't gained any weight, etc.). I realize that she either just doesn't have any sex drive anymore, or that it has something to do with me. Either way should I break things off so maybe things change? Is there anyway to handle this if we have already discussed the issue?

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not sure really, i treat her about as well as i can and at least as good as i have before. she did change birth control a little while ago but it was significantly decreasing for a while before that.

 

I guess we're both under more stress, but we're 23 and no sex for 3 months? I feel awful pushing the issue, because thats not really what i want our relationship to be about, but its getting a little ridiculous.

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No, we moved from where we first met which seemed to hasten the decline but our life is really good, we are financially independent and very secure with two good salaries, especially at our age.

 

I doubt anyone makes comments about her weight, if someone did she would have told me. I really don't know why the change in self confidence, the only thing I can think of it has to do with me and shes not telling me the truth, but shes never been dishonest about anything before this.

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Have you told her that your self-esteem is in the gutter and are unhappy because of lack of sex? because if she knows how you feel and still makes no effort to try to resolve her issues then you could try one more talk to her making it clear that you cannot live without sex in your life and you are considering ending the relationship.

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