Saying mean things in anger... :(

[Seymore]

There is a difference between someone who lashes out in anger because of a psychological condition and someone who takes the time to compose a diatribe of insults while considering whether it is wise or fair to send it but sends it anyway. One is premeditated and one is not.

 

I don't think people lash out in anger because of a psychological condition. The psychological condition may be responsible for the extreme low the person is feeling, but I think the person still has control over how they harness that anger.

 

I do think it's more of a case of one is more well-thought out than the other, in this case being more well-thought out is the bad thing.

[DN]

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[XxJustMexX]

I wanted to drop by into this post and thank everyone for their responses! I was on vacation for 5 days so I haven't been online... so sorry if it seemed I took off on this post.

 

Yes... I agree... what I said was deliberate. I was SO angry at the moment. I felt "betrayed" in a way when he used my being bipolar against me. It's just when I share all my problems with a friend/man, I expect they will not use it against me or throw it in my face when they're angry... I do expect to apologize to him soon... I'm just waiting until I am ready and things have calmed down a bit more.

 

 

 

Thank you very much. I plan on apologizing for my words to him. I think in a way, I haven't done so yet because I feel as if he owes me one too. But I guess, whether or not he's sorry, doesn't change the fact that I'M sorry and doesn't determine whether I should apologize to him. I'm pretty good with letting my pride down and being the first to apologize in a fight with pretty much everyone... I guess sometimes I feel "sick and tired" of being the first to apologize... but I always end up doing it anyway.

 

 

 

Thank you very much. I plan on sending him a text soon with exactly what you've said. I just have to get over the bit of anger I have towards him right now... I still feel betrayed and hurt over what he said. Even though I want to apologize, I still feel like I'll be putting myself out there to get hurt more if I do this now...

 

 

 

Thank you. Any chance you can share anything that may be similar to my situation? Even though I've been depressed, I'm far from knowing too much about it as I've never been THAT depressed... I'm still trying to learn about others and their experiences with a depressed loved one.

 

Thanks everyone for your responses. I really do appreciate it.

[aurevoir]

How do people get over these things?

I have been in your situation. And he has said things I thought no guy would EVER say to me. Trust me, it took awhile for me to forgive him.

[wendy48]

XxJustMexX's boyfriend responded in the way that he knows best when he's under pressure, so did XxJustMeXx... I don't think she should be punished just because she said more words. Who ever said he wasn't premeditated about what he said?! Come on everybody, give this girl a break At least she is taking "responsibility" for her behaviour, a lot more than what the boyfriend is doing... (that we know about)

 

The words she said meant something to her, it was her unique response, just as her boyfriends words were unique to him. There are two sides to this story.

 

In your corner XxJustMeXx... although i do believe that if you feel bad you should rectify it with yourself, but i don't think you should feel unnecessary guilt. It was afterall, YOUR response. Don't feel so guilty, let it go

 

An apology is as much for the apologizer as it is for the person hurt by their actions. I think part of letting it go for her will be apologizing in a way that doesn't let him off the hook for his behavior.

 

I also suspect that part of his recent change in behavior might stem from him coming to terms with his bipolar difficulties. That could make it very difficult for him to relate to her right now if she has the same struggles. However, down the line, when he makes more progress with it, he will likely benefit a great deal from her support, and I think she knows this and her own love for him makes her want to offer that. It will be trying, but there is a possibility of being a good friend here and i think if she can, she should do her best to offer that without compromising herself.