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Sometimes It Feels Like We're Still Together


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This is weird, really weird. It shows exactly how habits and assocations play with the subconcious. 13 months out of a 5 year relationship, engaged to be married. Have seen her once since.

 

Some days I can be doing something random and my ex pops in to my head, and without really thinking about it, it's like a normal everyday thought from when we were together. But then it hits me that we aren't together anymore and I get this whack accross the face. It's like 2+2 doesn't equal 4 anymore, and I go whoah, what the hell happened? We broke up? When, how? That doesn't make sense?? So it's almost like my subconcious is still in a relationship with her, still doing the same everyday things I used to do with the same old habits and associations. I can be expecting the phone to ring any minute and it's her calling from her office to say hi but she doesn't call and that hurts a little.

 

Weird.

 

Other than that things are fine. I have been a bit low this week, if I'm honest, pining and thinking about her a little too often. I'm feeling a bit lonely to be honest and need someone to fill this void I'm feeling, but get the sense that no one else can fill it except her. Maybe I'm still processing it all.

 

How and ever, I will keep striving for greatness.

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((big hug))

 

I know those moments - it definitely takes time to get our subconscious to come around. It's so weird.

 

I'm not sure if there's anything that speeds up the process of getting your ex out of there. You're definitely still processing it all. Keep letting things out as they come, that's how you get over things slowly.

 

I'm glad to hear you are still striving for greatness! You're awesome and you're definitely going to get there.

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I'm feeling a bit lonely to be honest and need someone to fill this void I'm feeling, but get the sense that no one else can fill it except her. Maybe I'm still processing it all.

 

How and ever, I will keep striving for greatness.

 

Perhaps you can think of it this way. Sometimes people dream about their exes. It doesn't necessarily mean that they aren't 'over' them but often times it can point out a need that you have. What you are having are like day dreams. And I think you are right - they are telling you that you are lonely for a relationship.

 

But I don't think you right in thinking that 'no one can fill the void.' There is no void. And she is not the only one for you. You are lonely, not empty. And you will find bigger and better love. Stay strong rob!

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I know how you feel. For me, it's 4 months out of a 2.5 yr relationship. I feel loads better, but it still hurts. The hard part for me is knowing that we really weren't meant to be together in the first place. Knowing that it's for the best doesn't hurt any less. In the back of my mind, I think "why hasn't he called yet?" Deep down I know he won't. I have this empty feeling that I have accepted that it won't ever be filled because he is gone.

 

I have hope for us though. Because each day it hurts just a little less. Each day, I find something to smile about.

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The hard part for me is knowing that we really weren't meant to be together in the first place.

 

I used to believe in this kind of thing too. Think about it! You WERE meant to be, because for 2.5 years you were together! I used to scoff

at what I'm about to tell you...but here goes. There was a purpose for

the two of you being together for that period. Yup. A life lesson or maybe several.

 

I was thinking about it this morning...as unromantic and cold as it sounds...my ex encouraged me and helped me make a transition into

a different career. I think she also taught me to be a more patient

person...(although lately...rgggggg..not doing so great at this) I know on some level..that this is why we were together....so

think about it..there is much to be learned glasshopper!

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Why would you lose trust in others?

 

Definitely... a broken heart is no reason to close off to others. Don't let yourself heal broken, if that makes sense. Don't blame love. Just remember how great it was when things were good. Unfortunately not everything can last forever but that's no reason to never try again. Every situation will be different.

 

Having said that, I know what you mean because I went through a phase of swearing i'd never trust again too... so I think it's normal to feel that way at a certain point, but just try to talk yourself through it and realize that that's not the cure or answer for your pain.

 

Good luck!

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I have moments like that too..but less so nowadays. I always think of him when something good happens I wanna tell him. The weirdest thing for me is that I feel like a limp of mine is missing. And since I've felt this way for so long, I wonder if and when it will change.

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I definitely feel this way too 1.5 months out. I still worry about her opinions on things around the house, or new music I'm listening too and feel guilty if I'm flirting with someone else. I wonder if this sort of thing means we're still in denial about the breakup, even if we can generally handle it from day to day. I've tried finding good tips on handling this kind of denial but haven't really come accross anything that struck me. I guess it just takes time.

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