Caught Girlfriend Hiding her relationship with a coworker.

[shessofly]

 

Hiding it from me big NO NO, its hard to talk to her about it because she gets annoyed and gets this stupid smirk like I don't know what i'm talking about. and gets mad because I repeat stuff over and over..

 

I guess its because she knows there is nothing between them and she doesn't understand why I am making a big deal out of it.

 

Or it could be there is some sort of connection there but shes white, according to the person I know that works there hes 35-40 black married with kids very unattractive. its almost like she wants me to break it off with her because she wont

 

 

they can't have a connection because she's white and he's black and unnattractive? you are fooling yourself. i don't see how this is relevant.

 

as for the bolded line above - rubbish. this is a form of manipulation. her trying to make you think you're crazy for questioning the relationship and not even really hearing you out. that is wrong. if the relationship is so innocent she wouldn't have needed to hide it - bottom line. now she is making you feel guilty for questioning her loyalty when she has shown you already that she's not completely trustworthy.

[bedrocks]

Or it could be there is some sort of connection there but shes white, according to the person I know that works there hes 35-40 black married with kids very unattractive. its

 

I called the number and had an hour long talk with the person...even came out that sometimes they would grab coffee etc after work...

 

she explained the guys creepy and that they talk alot but how she would never even if she was single do anything with him..

 

The guy is "creepy" and "unattractive" and yet your girlfriend meets him after week to "grab coffee etc" (and you got this info from HIM, not from her).

 

How much more do you need before you realize that you're in almost total denial here?

[thathoopla]

She needs to make a choice on whether her relationship with you is more important than her relationship with that guy. If so, she's gotta back off from him.

[tshop]

She needs to make a choice on whether her relationship with you is more important than her relationship with that guy. If so, she's gotta back off from him.

 

Im curious to see if she was to approach him with this as if I did it what he would say...

 

already know the answer

[Theblueman123]

Whoah she was flirting with an older mariried black man? That's such bs man you need to go. She's a loser and just dump her and move on bro, ain't nothing waitin around for her to get her act together. Y'all ain't ever gonna be happy so get rid of the wench and find someone new.

[G-Snap]

I feel really really bad for you, but even worse for that guy's wife as he is a married man carrying on like that.

[G-Snap]

You just have to trust her. If you can't, you might want to think about whether or not it's the kind of situation that you deserve to be in.

 

He doesn't HAVE to trust her.

 

But I see what you are saying. If he doesn't, walk.

[Salicia]

The whole situation sounds creepy and shady. I've been through a similar experience before. The only differences were that he was single, I was single and I wasn't confiding in him at the level that your gf was confiding in this guy. I at least thought that he was a friend but once he kept hitting on me and tried so desperately to date me, I knew that he wasn't a friend at all, just a creepier, older guy. I broke the friendship off as soon as I could.

 

My point is that this guy doesn't sound like a friend to me through his mannerisms. He just reminds me of that creepy guy in my story. You have to make the decision on whether or not you can tolerate all of this, considering that your gf can. If you can't, break it off.

[veneratio]

I'm not going to repeat what everyone else has already said, but don't sell yourself short here. Do you really think their relationship is completely innocent, regardless of your girlfriend's past and what this guy has been telling you, when he calls her his "angel"? I would never call another woman any type of pet name if there wasn't something there. Totally inappropriate for friends.

[tshop]

I appreciate all of the advice we decided that we need some space apart not breaking up... She told me they talked and decided it was better off that they stopped talking as it is jepordizing his marraige and our relationship.. She just said it was nice having someone from the outside to talk to but she was in a very angry and bad mood.. She said what's in the past is the best and she wants to try to work towards the future with what we have left...

 

She knows I lost trust in her.

 

I'm gonna give this one last chance as it's all that seems right in my life I appreciate the help

[lavenderdove]

Best of luck! I'd still try to get her into counseling if you can, if she needs someone else to talk to, a professional is best.

[metrogirl]

I appreciate all of the advice we decided that we need some space apart not breaking up... She told me they talked and decided it was better off that they stopped talking as it is jepordizing his marraige and our relationship.. She just said it was nice having someone from the outside to talk to but she was in a very angry and bad mood.. She said what's in the past is the best and she wants to try to work towards the future with what we have left...

 

She knows I lost trust in her.

 

I'm gonna give this one last chance as it's all that seems right in my life I appreciate the help

 

She was probably in a bad mood because she has to put the brakes on talking to the other dude for awhile. If she was geniuinely happy and eager to work on the relationship with you, she wouldn't be in a bad mood. If anything she should feel some sort of gratitude that you haven't dumped her.

[tshop]

She was probably in a bad mood because she has to put the brakes on talking to the other dude for awhile. If she was geniuinely happy and eager to work on the relationship with you, she wouldn't be in a bad mood. If anything she should feel some sort of gratitude that you haven't dumped her.

 

Well today she was fine and wants to meet me for lunch.. I wrote this, to give to her and see what happens basically asking to seek counsling and if shes on the same page as I am

 

H,

 

The love of life that you have the fun and new exciting things we introduce to each other and your amazing love and close relationship you have with your family makes me want to be a part of you, your family, and have you as a big part of my life.

 

6 months in I just knew you were the one for me I've never felt like this with anyone and yes we have bad times but the good times are amazing. That’s part of any relationship and the way we can work through things makes us stronger.

 

We are a great team and I need you to be my strong partner now more than ever.. It's going to be hard we are going to have to work at it and communicate openly and honestly.

 

I'm always thinking house, Beautiful wife, Beautiful kids (twins??), Calvin Mama Rizz possible small farm??? A start of my life with you in it excites me and I'm open to anything!

 

I think we should take advantage of using someone to give us new ways to think about things and to overcome our obstacles and other ways to handle situations. We as a couple could use some more ways of going about certain things.

 

Our relationship is very serious to me and I need you to be on the same page. If you can't picture me as your partner, lover, and future because of our problems.. Then we just can't continue like this..

 

Take all the time you need to think about this. I will be waiting to hear from you.

 

I'll always love you no matter what, and I’ll always be your friend.

-T