Physical imperfections = depression.

[Wasted Ink]

Hi,

 

I've noticed over the past six months or so that I’ve become obsessed with the way I look and am constantly feeling depressed/down about myself. I think this was probably triggered by one tasteless comment from someone online about my appearance. Now I think about it constantly, as pathetic as that sounds. I was very cute as a kid/pre-teen/young teenager, but suddenly, I feel like I’ve become ugly and disgusting and I can’t quite establish why. One major problem I have with myself is the size of my chin/jaw. Oddly enough I’d never even noticed this until someone (thanks Mum) pointed it out to me. Now I’m fixated on it. I do think my chin is really big. It’s not particularly pointed as such and it’s not like it’s a J-Leno chin, but it’s making me really uncomfortable about my appearance and makes me feel like I’ll never be attractive. It looks worst when I smile - it looks really bad.

 

The only thing is, I’m almost 3 stone overweight and am slowly losing the weight. I have a very chubby face. It has a sort of puffy appearance in the face and I honestly can’t see it ever looking normal! But the thing is, do you think the chin area will improve aesthetically once the weight is gone? Might it look smaller? The problem is, even though I do have a pudgy/puffy face, I don’t really have a double chin or anything, so I’m worried that may just be my natural chin shape. I can see that my chin will probably narrow once the weight is lost, but I’m not sure about the length.

 

I’m even considering getting surgery on my chin/jaw bone, even though I’m only seventeen. But the thing is, prior to it being mentioned, I’d never even noticed it. So I’m wondering to what extent it could be physiological.

 

Now every time I meet/see someone I’m looking at their chin and comparing the length to mine. I even spend ages googling chins and looking at the sizes. It’s crazy. I know I sound like a whiner, but this is genuinely depressing me. How can I stop thinking about this?

[FathomFear]

Now every time I meet/see someone I’m looking at their chin and comparing the length to mine. I even spend ages googling chins and looking at the sizes. It’s crazy. I know I sound like a whiner, but this is genuinely depressing me. How can I stop thinking about this?

 

Unfortunately it is a very common phenomenon for women--especially young women--to obsess about their physical features to an extreme. That is why there are rampant eating disorders and popularity with unhealthy diets, physical augmentation, etc. We have a culture which obsesses over female beauty to an unhealthy degree.

 

What would I recommend? I'd educate yourself on the topic a bit--read about the history of female body image, etc--enlighten yourself on the different pressures you're facing. Read stories of people who used to have the same struggles and overcame them. Ultimately this is one of those things that's 99% in your head. If you didn't notice you chin for 17 years of your life, you can guarantee that random people meeting you on the street aren't noticing. And for the 1% who notices, 99% of those likely do not care.

[im_the_undead]

"I’d never even noticed this until someone (thanks Mum) pointed it out to me."

 

i NOTICED that family has a LOT to do with how we see ourselves.. my sisters always make snide remarks about how i look... and my mother has recently started to add to the remarks. They always say i look annorexic & it hurts.. i feel disgusting.. BUT, i have to accept myself and love myself so i won't fall into depression..

and think, "maybe it's envy.."

 

so don't let someone's insensetivity overcome the way you see yourself..

write down all the things you loooove about yourself

 

Dude,

if J Lenno thinks he's a fine dime, chin and all, you should own yours with pride

[Wasted Ink]

Thanks for the advice. I agree about family members - I can't believe I NEVER noticed my chin for all these years and suddenly I think it's the biggest chin on earth (exaggeration, but it does seem long to me.) I'm desperately hoping that when I lose weight the added definition will help my jaw/chin look more aesthetically pleasing. I don’t want to have this burdening my confidence for the fest of my life. And it’s not like I can afford surgery (not even close!)

 

Oddly for years I didn’t feel ugly at all - I knew I wasn’t a supermodel, but I thought I was okay. Maybe a bit plain Janeish, but not ugly. Ever since this one negative comment about my appearance I think about it all day; I look in the mirror constantly and get depressed about it.

 

I don’t think there’s much I can do. I move from one facial flaw to the next, dissecting every one. FathomFear- thanks, I will try and do some research into the female body image and see if it makes me feel better. It’s just something I want to stop thinking about.