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Friend for 6-8 years (on and off), will she ever go out with me?


NaturalJ

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I am a 20 year old man, and I have this friend who I have known since about the 8th grade. We have been friends on and off meaning we have gone a year or two of not talking and what not. She used to have a crush on me from the 8th grade to 10th. I became really anti-social from the 10th to my senior year. I got sick of drinking and doing the drugs so I pretty much became a hermit in my house and gamed. I am back out there now working, going to college, partying (responsibly).

 

Anyways, she always asks me to come smoke with her. All my friends that are girls do this if they are smokers (I'm obviously a smoker too). It simply means we just meet up and while we smoke we talk about whatever happened during the day or about making future plans etc. Well she is one of those girls that can't stop being on her phone and even if you ask her politely to not look at it for like 5 min she just laughs and doesn't take you seriously. In fact, she is very dramatic about a lot of details (very immature kind of high-schoolish). Like she broke up with her old boyfriend and was all dramatic about it, not crying or anything, but she went into detail and put a lot of emphasis on telling me about it.

 

I asked her like 6 months ago if she thought I was attractive (friend-like). She did her non serious laughing and after using verbal queues like 2-3 times she answered yes. Three days ago I asked her if she would ever date me. She required the verbal queues as she keeps texting on her phone, driving, and smoking. She finally said she probably would. Well two days ago I asked her out and she said "let me think about it". I was like alright I'm a pretty patient guy. Well I asked for a good estimation on when she would know and we compromised on a day. She still hasn't answered my phone calls or texts. I saw her driving yesterday and today so I know she is out and about.

 

I feel like I'm completely wasting my time and I rarely date (been about 3 years). It also seems like a lot of girls my age are too immature and never serious about dating. My older sister (30 yrs old) said that she felt the same way about guys and had to wait until she was 19 only to date a 25 year old guy. I don't see myself dating someone that much older than me (maybe only 2-3 years at most). Should I even attempt to go out with this girl? What if she says yes or no for some BS reason? How the heck am I suppose to find a mature women around my age who is going to school (has a future planned at least), parties in MODERATION, and is generally a kind and serious person when needed? I feel like it isn't too much to ask in fact I just want someone who knows when to be serious and isn't a complete moron.

 

So what the heck am I suppose to do? Wait around until I'm 21 so I can hopefully meet a nice girl at the club? Just not even try and wait for "the right one" (I feel like that will take a long time if I don't look)?

 

Also, one of my friends told me that if I don't try to make passes at girls it just won't happen. I'm not overweight or anything. I am better than average looking according to all my friends who are serious and intelligent people. I have a little fat on my body but I work out every day and am losing weight at a good rate. I just don't understand why this girl and other girls my age are complete morons.

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Relax. you're just 20. Stop trying to get a "girlfriend". If you want to bang her just put your mind into doing just that. Make that your mission, instead of trying to tame her into your woman. I can tell you even if she says yes to be your "girlfriend" it won't last a month. So just relax and make it your goal to enjoy what comes by and whatever you are given. You'll find that you'll be more successful this way than beating yourself up wondering what she's thinking.

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Well you don't sound suited to this girl.

 

Keep asking women out. Consider that practice.

 

Don't get too down! Lots of people in general are 'morons' as you say for a good while and it's just how it is. At 30 I wouldn't even say it's strictly an age thing; it's a people thing.

 

There must be some interesting women at school.....

 

You are bounds ahead already bc you are out there, you seem like you have a pretty good head on your shoulders, and you are asking people out on dates! Just keep trying and have fun.

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I'm not too down about it or really stressing over it. It just bothers me, and I don't want to just be in a relationship to bang, lol. I can easily pick up a girl at a party and do that. I want a serious relationship where my counter-part isn't a dits.

 

I'm just trying to find out what age limit of women do I appeal towards? My female friends say I am acting like the age of a 22-25 year old man. I'm at the point in my life (mentally) where I don't want to sleep around. I actually want to have an actual relationship. Isn't too much to ask for...

 

Edit: I'm sure a lot of people will say "you're at the age where you are too young to be looking for a life partner". It doesn't have to be a life partner, just a relationship with potential.

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