pickles11 Posted March 22, 2010 Share Posted March 22, 2010 Here is my story… BF said he wanted space about a month ago… Turns into not wanting to be with me and I start looking for a new place… So I find the new place and start getting things together.. I tell him I move this past weekend and I think he should go visit his brother in AZ… he said ok… So I start moving Friday after work… got pretty much all of my stuff out.. and left all the mutually owned stuff… So after a couple weeks of me being a complete mess and wanting him back and begging and being stupid… I decided to leave it be… He decides to meet up with someone he used to work with and they hooked up for a week.. They are done.. and it was pretty much to fill a void… I was mad of course.. but again we were done and I had nothing to say… So we pretty much laid low for the next week.. We didn’t talk much but we did get into a nasty fight on St Pattys Day… prob the booze talking.. Anyway Thursday night was the last night we would both be in the apt.. and I freaked out.. I started to cry.. and we both went to our separate bedrooms.. He left on Friday and I went to start moving… So he texted me all Friday and Saturday…. And even Sunday morning… So then he comes home while I was moving.. And it was just awkward.. I filled my car and went to my new place… with every intention to not text or call him from that point on… So of course he texts me and tells me he will help me move the rest of my things if I need him to… I said we’ll see… Then he calls later that night for pretty much no reason he asks if I was coming back up to the old apt that night (its already 930) and I said no.. and he asked why..… then he calls again… and he was really quiet.. unlike him… and he asks when my lease is up.. I say 1 year… and then I ask why… and he rambled about something.. then he tells me how sorry he is about everything and blah blah blah… tells me he lost a best friend and all this stuff.. then he tells me we can still do stuff together to see if we still like each other if I want..and I said that was never my issue.. we were together 3 years.. I wouldn’t be with you if I didn’t like you… and then again with how sorry he was… I cried and told him I needed to go to bed… Then I text him thanking him for calling.. and he wrote back.. just wondering how I F’d this up… I was torn.. then I tried to go to bed… So today I email him asking what he meant by “we can still hang out”.. and his reply… We can be friends day by day… and see what happens… He is most likely moving in 2 months and he wants to make sure hes stable before worrying about a relationship… which I guess I can see… but this is so hard… I don’t know if I should even put the effort in to being friends and then see what happens… im just so torn.. I love him so much and always saw myself with him in the future and now it hurts so bad to hold on to the little of us we have left… I don’t know what to do! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lastchallenge Posted March 22, 2010 Share Posted March 22, 2010 Do u want him back? How do u feel about him now after all this...? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pickles11 Posted March 22, 2010 Author Share Posted March 22, 2010 I do want him back... ive never not wanted to be with him... I mean yes he hurt me while doing all this... but now that he says lets take it day by day... I dont know if i can do day by day if all he wants is a friend... it hard to be in the same place with him because it hurts so bad... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartGoesOn Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 I think that being friends would only give you false hope, and set you back. He made the choice that he didn't want to be with you, and now he has to face the consequences. Also, if there is a chance of getting back together, it won't happen while you're still there in front of him. I would completely disappear from his life, and let him see what it's like without you in his life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pickles11 Posted March 23, 2010 Author Share Posted March 23, 2010 See thats what i am completely afraid of.. i told him i cant be his friend because its too hard for me... but i think that might be his way of wanting to work on us.. i just have no idea... hes stressed out about his job and his life and kids... and im just confused about him.. it seems petty... but its not for me... he was everything to me... he knows how i feel.. he knows everything that i have to say.. its just he doesn't see the hurt... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartGoesOn Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 I think that's a good enough reason for you to step away, so he can hopefully see the hurt he's causing you. And, like you said, "he knows how you feel", so right now the ball is in his court. We all get stressed out at times, but we all don't just walk away when the going gets tough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uncomfynumb Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 Sounds like your ex just wanted an excuse to get some strange. Since he broke up with you first, he was not technically cheating right? He certainly sounds worth fighting for... I think you should run and not look back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pickles11 Posted March 23, 2010 Author Share Posted March 23, 2010 Well... i was the one that pushed him away... he did something stupid and my first reaction was to tell him we were done and i didnt want to deal with him anymore.. and i know i shouldnt have done that... believe me i know i shouldnt have done that... i started this whole thing and now i want him back... Normally when i freak out over nothing he begs me not to leave that he cant live without me... and this time it backfired in my face... I mean i never wanted to walk away from him... i just felt better when he told me he didnt want me to go... i pushed my limits so far this time.. and its just not fair... i dont want to run away from this... im making him see that when things get hard you have to deal with them.. which is what he needs to do... errr Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uncomfynumb Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 Ok, so you have your own issues to work on. Until you fix this, your hope for a happy, healthy relationship is practically nil. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pickles11 Posted March 23, 2010 Author Share Posted March 23, 2010 Yeah I know my issues.. he has the same.. which i know i need to work on.. it doesnt change the fact that i want him back in my life... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cm17 Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 This is a lot like what just happened to me with my now ex. Many times I'd suggest a break-up when his behavior was bothering me or was showing me I wasn't a priority. I brought it up too much, but he'd always end up telling me how much he loved me and that he wanted to be with me. It made me feel more confident that he really and trully wanted me. However now I see that I was slowly chipping away at out bond. Finally I brought it up again about 10 days ago maybe in a more serious way. He ended up agreeing with me this time. We both felt shocked. But now I'm regretting the move and he seems just confused. I don't think he wants me back... I totally understand why you're torn about friendship. My ex said the same thing, that he couldn't bear the thought of loosing me as his best friend. But I told him I couldn't handle seeing him with other women or really be friends with him while I was still so in love. So far we haven't talked since he picked his stuff up. I'm actually considering calling him next week if I still feel as torn up. I really hope this works out for you. It must be really hard still hearing from him so much. I'm confused now and we're not even in touch. I'm personally going to try and focus on myself for awhile, who knows I might not regret things so much in a few weeks... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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