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Does change cause loss of attraction?


Keraron

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I wonder whether the reason someone falls OUT of love is because the other person starts changing.

 

I notice that whenever I know that a girl is very interested in me or clearly infatuated, and I decide to reciprocate, I always adopt behaviors that make me different from the moment I was when we first met.

 

Behaviors that I feel are related to my set of morals and religion.

 

For example:

- I start talking only to her and avoid everyone else.

- If she sends me a text message, I send her three.

- I talk to her in very knight-ish overtones, like the Old day poets and knights of the courts

- and so on...

 

I do this regardless of her personality. I create a "prince of the middle ages" personality, follow her everywhere, serve her at everything, etc.

 

Currently, there is a girl who was very in love with me at the beginning, but now seems to have lost interest because of this.

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The girl liked the real you but your change of behaviour is not the real you and so she has walked away.

You are sabotaging yourself. You are unique and theres no need to change yourself.

If you have any hope of getting her back..drop the theatrics and go no contact for 9 days.

Dont return her calls texts..nothing.If you havent already blown it then she will be intersted in you again so just be yourself.

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For example:

- I start talking only to her and avoid everyone else.

- If she sends me a text message, I send her three.

- I talk to her in very knight-ish overtones, like the Old day poets and knights of the courts

- and so on...

 

I do this regardless of her personality. I create a "prince of the middle ages" personality, follow her everywhere, serve her at everything, etc.

 

/QUOTE]

 

I would be extremely weirded out by this behavior and would drop a guy like a hot potato if he started acting like this.

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For example:

- I start talking only to her and avoid everyone else.

- If she sends me a text message, I send her three.

- I talk to her in very knight-ish overtones, like the Old day poets and knights of the courts

- and so on...

 

I do this regardless of her personality. I create a "prince of the middle ages" personality, follow her everywhere, serve her at everything, etc.

 

/QUOTE]

 

I would be extremely weirded out by this behavior and would drop a guy like a hot potato if he started acting like this.

 

I agree.....

 

I would probably think you were some kind of nut if you started talking to me like a knight and I don't think there is a girl on this planet that wants to be followed everywhere.

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Well if that is the real you then so be it, but if you;re completely different as a person then just be yourself.

One of the worst things anyone can do is distance themselves from other people while in a relationship or even dating. I distanced myself from my friends and family while in my previous relationship and that was a major blow for me. Never again.

 

A healthy relationship with all those around you will actually be in your favor with the girl.

I don't think you're creepy, but I think you need to take it a few notches down.

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I agree that the specific behaviours you describe are weird and sound a bit clingy or suffocating, but it's a good general point - don't be so fast to change who you are and what you do when entering a relationship or dating someone.

 

I've made this mistake in the past, taking things to fast with a girl who was head over heels for me. It seems that once they know that you like them and you'll be there for them, that's when they least want you

 

What I'm mindful of now is to take things at a slow pace. Instead of changing my schedule around for a new girl, see her only sparingly and don't change around the things in my life (sports, friends, etc.) to see her more often. That has to be earned and it's earned through the trust gained by dating for a while.

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