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sad, but slightly relieved


katzzz1

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hi

If anyone read my other post I talked about my BF who I had been with for 2 months and found out that he still had his online dating profile up after he told me he canceled it. Anyway, we talked about it and he said he was not looking around, etc etc. That convo was last Tuesday and all week I've been feeling really crappy about our relationship. We hung out this weekend and it was so awkward all weekend. I just don't trust him so I was just really closed off.

Anyway he called this afternoon to tell me he thought I left things a little weird this morning when I left his house. Well that opened the can and I just came out with everything that I have been thinking all week. So at the end of the whole story we decided to break up. he started off by saying he thinks we moved too fast and we should slow down, just be friends. I replied saying we should just end it and I'm going to date other people....not in a nasty way. I really feel like we did move too fast and it will be best for me to just move on, not waste time with the lets slow things down and be friends BS.

anyway I'm kind of sad it's over. But more in a sense that I wanted a relationship again and just the idea of that. Relieved at the same time because the whole situation with him was stressing me out too much and it should be blissful in a new relationship, not insecure and untrusting.

 

Hopefully ENA will help me sort out my dating life. I'm really terrible with relationship and dating in general. Just very naive I guess.

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Something in your post caught my eye and it applies to many of us. That is when you were told to slow it down and be friends. The same thing is happening with the guy I currently like (we are long time friends) and it made me realize a few things. That is to say that I did rush in this situation and in others. A few months isn't that long really, especially when one is looking for a partner.

 

My advice to you? To slow it down and see where it heads. 2 months isn't that long to be worrying. People often get this sense of closeness too early. Take it slow because maybe that's it. Stop worrying about it and get involved with other activities. Maybe in a few months he will be ready. Maybe not, but if you slow it down it might be a better relationship.

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Newwave you are right. Slow and steady is the best way, it is just hard for me to do when I'm caught up in the moments. I honestly do want to stay friends with him and maybe by telling him i'm going to date other people was a bit harsh, but it's the truth I would like to date other people. Hopefully we will stay in contact and something could happen in the future, maybe not we'll see.

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Newwave you are right. Slow and steady is the best way, it is just hard for me to do when I'm caught up in the moments. I honestly do want to stay friends with him and maybe by telling him i'm going to date other people was a bit harsh, but it's the truth I would like to date other people. Hopefully we will stay in contact and something could happen in the future, maybe not we'll see.

 

I know exactly because I am going through an identical thing. The only difference was we knew each other years, but also hadn't seen each other in many years. I too tend to get caught up in the moments though if a guy pulls the same thing I get scared. In the early stages you have every right to date others as does he. In my case I haven't slept with the guy I like (I don't advise it early in relationships) so dating around is just meeting guys. I'm staying in contact with the guy I like and even if it stays as friends, could be worse. That's how you need to look at it. If it's meant to be, it'll fall into place eventually. If not, well there's probably other guys for you.

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Well at least the whole ordeal took care of itself nice and quick and you're now able to move on to someone on the same page as you. Nothing worse that living being anxious about a new relationship that might or may not work out.

 

I agree. I think you made a good decision by moving on.

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